im 25 years and i love my husband very much ,i just gave birth to our second child and our family is seems to be happy so far,yesterday i found him chating online with his collegue and she is not in our country,after this im feld so bad and im hurt i waned to kill my self,but thinking about our kids i dont know what to do,shall i ask him straight or be quite...?pls help me,im helpless here pls pls.....
2006-08-08 19:00:35 · 38 answers · asked by vindya203 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
HOLD ON! Once you have children you lose the right to commit suicide! You cannot do that to them, they need you. You did nothing wrong. You are not alone either. Many beautiful Actresses have been cheated on and So have I. I have a son, 7 years old. A friend of his told me what happened. She was jealous! My son loves his father and so do I. He admitted his stupidity. He apologizes many times over to me. He proves to me that he is honest now, by calling me when he is out. Leaving me notes if he leaves. Letting me know what he is up to. We also go to counseling. It totally helps. Him especially. Marriage has its ups and downs. This happens to a lot of people. Men , when they do this are not thinking straight. Its called thinking with the PenisBrain! They do need psychological help. You have many things to consider. Give yourself time to think. Do not argue with him about this issue, when He is ready to seriously talk to you about this , He will. Also, If other woman is in other country, How much does he travel there to see her? I chat online all the time with people ,even men and we talk about our lives that has nothing to do with Cheating. Please email me if you cannot hold on, I will try to help you. You just need time to get some distance from this and really think about what you want to do. Take it easy. Good luck.
2006-08-08 19:17:56 · answer #1 · answered by LoveMyLife 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's not the end of the world. You are not helpless. What did he do/say that caused the hurt you feel?
Don't apologize for what you discovered either. You do need to ask him straight though. Don't be quiet about it either.
You need to know what this woman is to your husband. No matter what stay strong for your kids.
If your husband is anything like mine, he may blow up and start ranting about you spying on him or not trusting him but the truth is, he's been keeping stuff from you. Don't back down. If you do then he's won and what he's doing will continue. Good Luck
2006-08-15 07:12:17 · answer #2 · answered by NyteWing 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before I can really answer this, I have a few questions. You say he's in India, right? How long have you been apart? Do you have proof he's having an affair? When a woman is pregnant, and I've been pregnant 3 times, she is overly sensitive! It is easy to take things wrong when your hormones are raging! How would you want him to treat you if you were the one cheating? Would you want him to forgive you? I'm being objective! I hope for your sake, things will work out and that he is NOT cheating on you!
2016-03-27 04:49:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cool down honey,
I understand your possesiveness for your hubby, but your possesiveness should not create a distance between you both.
Keep in your mind that never internet relationships lasts long......
Had ur hubby had any intension of cheating you, then perphaps he would have gone for a relationship withing the vicinity, why to go for international relationships..
I bet you, that the relationship worrying you does not last long even for couple of months or so.......
Be patient, and dont spoil your family...
But alas, just keep one thing in mind, people run for the things they like. Just think, why ur hubby is showing so much interest to chat with her, maybe, he found something which you could not get from you...... why cant you think in this aspect once, and see the change... I hope u understand what I mean.....
Cheers.... and Gud luck...............
2006-08-10 08:12:09 · answer #4 · answered by Good Samaritan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
please dont jump to conclusions & ruin the happiness of your family. chatting online doesnt mean your husband is having an affair. there may have been some work related discussions going on or he could be just asking her well being since u say she is out of the country. best would be to ask, rather than brood over all this & take some silly steps. first confirm then take your next step, which should be to have a talk with your husband to know what he wants & whats important to him.
there are lot of professionals to help out if there is some truth in what u are suspecting & he accepts it all. also family & close friends can be very good counsellors in such cases.
take care
2006-08-08 19:09:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
U have mentioned that u found ur husband chatting with a collegue..R u sure that it was intimate and obscene?What is wrong with chatting with a collegue..Would u have had the same doubt if the collegue was a male?
It could have been just an ordinary , normal conversation.
However, if u found anything wrong with the conversation,it is better to talk to ur husband and find out as to what is happening..
Never jump to any conclusions...
2006-08-08 19:09:06 · answer #6 · answered by salapan 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Dear Vindhya,
First, react to sufficient data. What was he chatting about? All chats are not romantic chats. He could have been just friendly with her. If he was romantic, even that is not serious. People take on different personalities when they chat, and half the time they don't mean anything.
Second, if that does not give you peace of mind, ask him. Gently. Don't confront him or put him on the defensive. Ask him frankly, tell him what you feel, your feelings of hurt and helplessness, and so on.
Do you trust your husband normally? Sometimes men flirt for the fun f it, but it doesn't mean they are going to leave their family or don't care about them.
Peace! Your family could still remain a happy family if you don't brood silently...
2006-08-08 19:16:21 · answer #7 · answered by ASH RAJ 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ok Iv'e delt with this problem before, tell him straight out what are you doing online and cheating on me have a discussion eventully the conversation will be over and you guys will no the exact story and if hes lying to you and you have the most strong feeling that he is I would go on his computer and check it out and if hes doing messenger I would not say this to anyone but this is big I would say sneak up behind him I realy hope you work it out!
2006-08-15 04:41:16 · answer #8 · answered by Soccer chick 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, tell him what you found out. Let him know how it made you feel. Why does he feel he needs the company of other women when you are around? There is no good reason for it.
I know how hurt you are. Do not think about suicide. Remember your children. This can be worked out. It sounds as if you have a great family, keep trying.
Good luck.
2006-08-15 05:17:07 · answer #9 · answered by Patti C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how did he cheat on you? Maybe he was juz discussing some business matter with his colleague. Try to ask him who are you chatting with, what you guys was chatting about and what is she doing there. Don't jump to conclusion that he's cheating on you. Talk to him about how you feel about his chatting with his colleague, don't tell him that you thought he was cheating on you. Tell him your feelings so thath he know your feelings. Communication is the best way to solve problems between two person. Good luck and take care. If he's really cheating on you, ask him what he wants. He wants to be with his colleague, I suggest you let him go and start another new life with your children. Remember that you can live your life without him. Your children are the most important thing in your life now. Think of them.
2006-08-08 19:16:13 · answer #10 · answered by bubu 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋