2006-08-08 18:54:17 · 9 answers · asked by cicly 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The coming of this baby is going to cause a ton of insecurity in your relationship and jealousy if you let it get to you. My husband has a six year old son with his ex but I'm the only woman he's ever been married to....anyway, when we first got together it was HARD to overcome feelings of jealousy that he has a child with another woman.....because he will have to keep communication lines open with his ex until his son turns 18! That's a LONG time and is overwhelming to think about. And his ex is STILL single so I always worried that she would be trying to get him back.
BUT, He has made it very obvious that he doesn't want her back .....marrying me was reassurance enough. I still hate it when his ex calls to ask about child support or something. My husband and I made an agreement that he will never talk to her on the phone or in person unless im with him...out of respect for me. Afterall, if he can't discuss it in front of his wife then he probably shouldn't be discussing it at all. You should talk to your guy about making such an agreement. If he makes it obvious that he's committed to you then it will ease your mind about his situation with the other woman. However, if he starts acting shady and spending a lot of time with his ex and their baby without You around....you should consider moving on or talking to him about how much it hurts that he's supposed to be with YOU but he's spending a lot of time with his ex as if they are still a couple. My husband's ex has no problem letting him and I keep their son over night or for days at a time and their son really likes me. Many women would have a major problem with that though. Since your guy's baby is going to be a newborn I doubt his ex will let you two keep the baby overnight. So more then likely, every time he sees the baby his ex will be there too. Can you handle him being around her all the time? Ask him if you will be able to come with him when he sees the baby. His ex will need to accept that you are a part of his life now. Try to be civil with her and don't act jealous or bothered by the situation. This will ease her mind about you being around their baby.----You could always work on having a baby of your own with him.
2006-08-08 19:13:19 · answer #1 · answered by S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What an uncomfortable situation! If you don't want to deal with it, just take off somewhere with friends when you get the "baby's coming" call. However, this is going to be an issue as long as you're with that guy- do you think you can deal with it forever? If you want to try and be open with it, go see the baby. If you're going to resent him for having a baby with someone else, maybe now's the time to move on.
2006-08-09 02:01:28 · answer #2 · answered by KyLeth 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out of the picture. Let you ex-man marry the mother of his child so his child will not be born a bastard. If they stay together -good, you move on. If they divorce, then have at him again if he loves you. But, for the child's sake and future, don't interfere with kid's heritage and legacy!
2006-08-09 02:04:53 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Deal with it like a lady show him that ur not a child trust me it will be hard just try to keep cool good luck baby girl
2006-08-09 01:59:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you married to him? How is your relationship with him?
1) If both of you are not married and he fathered this child while he is this relationship with you. You shoud leave him and move on. Because he has betrayed you. Its lucky in a way that both of you are not married yet.
2) If both of you are married. Worst, he is unfaithful and was not truthful to his marriage vows to you. Does both of you still love each other and want to be together? Then you have to deal with it, you adopt the child from that woman. If he is estranged from you and want to be with his new family, I think you have to think about leaving him and move on.
2006-08-09 02:15:38 · answer #5 · answered by Dani 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can either deal or not deal, it's really that simple. But if you stick around be prepared to deal with some drama. How did this happen? Did he cheat on you and get the girl pregnant or was she already before you all started dating?
2006-08-09 01:58:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been there. If he doesn't love her anymore, just support him. I've also been the single pregnant woman. Just a tip, don't hang on him when she's around. They might not want each other anymore, but seeing you with him might sting her anyway. If he's honest about you, you don't need to be all on him.
2006-08-09 01:59:19 · answer #7 · answered by Baybee Gurrl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try to help raise it and maybe if it works out you might want a child some day
2006-08-09 01:58:10 · answer #8 · answered by makala 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love him/her like they are your own
2006-08-09 01:59:13 · answer #9 · answered by Chaysee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋