What is wrong with my sister in lawy!?!? What is her problem!?

Question

We recently lost our dad. Mom sold the old house and moved into a new smaller home sense the old one reminded her too much of dad. Im currently staying with mom helping her out and taking care of my granny who is blind , cant walk and has dementia.

We also have my brother and his wife and child living with us.They live in the basement. My sister in law claims that she is severely ill, she stoped going to her courses( which i dont mind its her thing). What doesnt sit well with me is that she claims that she is ill and then as soon as my brother leaves for work she runs upstairs in the kitchen, make a huge mess and then spends her entire day on the phone. I also notcied things belonging to mom dissapearing in the kitchen. Mom's casseroles, utensiles, my glasses and plates. I had to buy a whole set so i dont get to loose my stuff.

I made the dishes last night , magically both sinks are dirty full of pots and plates and utensiles.What the heck is her problem!?!?

Its at the point where mom no longer feels comfortable at home. I myself will move out of there as soon as humanly possible.

My sister in law also talks behind everyone's back( family members on both mom and dad's side) constantly.SHe even critisized dad.. its hadent even been a month he was barried!?!/ Tells mom that grandpa( mom's dad) dont like her. Told my granny that her hubby hates her, like what is the point she is old, can t walk , cant see.What is the point attacking her!?!?

No oneever did anything to my sister in law , we all welcomed her int he family and her mouth worked with a quickness that i have never seen. She even goes as far as saying to mom that her and my brother it will never work. Why say that to mom. she has enought to deal with.

So far i keep my distance from her but remain the same with my bro. I never talk about this or anything. But someone please explain why she is behaving like this?

my granny cant walk nor see. So when i make some food for her. I feed her myself and bring back all the plates in the kitchen immediately when done. So i know granny took nothing. She cant even so nor walk. No way should would make to the kicthen downstairs

Answer 1

i think shes ackin like this so yall kan leave and she will have the house 2 her and her husband and kids. so thats why shes problaby ackin like that kause some in laws lives wat the husband parents then bug them so they kan leave and they wil move out so they kan have the house and they wont have 2 go buye on or she mite be krazy as hell.

Answer 2

Your sister-in-law is a person who wants the focal attention on her whether it be positive or negative. I don't understand the dynamics of your family but I do know that there is more family in your household that I would ever want to deal with..DEATH or NO DEATH....the only thing I can think of is To many cooks stirring the POT spoils the broth!.....

You have to many people living under 1 roof.. Your MOM would probably welcome all of you moving out. I swear....She needs her space and time to grieve for your DAD.

If you and your brother are able bodied, employed and are old enough to be married....You must MOVE....and get out of your mothers new home Now!!

You are talking dishes, pots, pans, etc....when the focal point should be sanity, independance, and being self sufficient to be out on your own in your own HOMES and not mooching off your mother!

Answer 3

confront her she is a nasty bit@h and she is using you and your family as a doormat, she has no regards for your family or your mom. your dad just died and she is starting all kinds of sh@t, your brother needs to know what is going on in your home and let him know that it is unacceptable and if he cant see it your way then maybe they should look for a new place to live, your mom should be comfortable in her own home and not have things stolen from her if not confront her and handle in a very strong way. she will continue to do this and trust me much more your mom will be like a prisoner in her on home and lord knows what else she will do she sounds very sneaky i would use a video camera so your brother can see it's not the family picking on his wife . i say put the camera everywhere she goes in your home even when she is on the phone sometimes you have to play dirty when someone thinks there getting over on them and start taping her conversation when she starts talking **** in the house trust there are ways she is no good and needs to be found out

Answer 4

This is ridiculous that she can make your mom feel uncomfortable in her own house. It is ridiculous that she makes you feel you want to leave. She sounds mentally unbalanced. If not, the witch just likes to make other people miserable.

Your mom needs help now. Get together with your mom and come up with a plan. You both need to talk to your brother and his wife. DO NOT TALK TO HER ALONE; she will make up all sorts of things that you and your mom said. If you talk to her alone, no telling what she will tell your brother. I know your priority now is your mom and grandma so keep that in mind.

Do your brother and his family need to live there because of financial reasons? If so maybe you can set up weekly meeting to discuss things. I know it is stupid to have to do that with family, but with your SIL, it is probably needed.

Good luck to you. Just keep remembering, you are doing this for your mom and grandma. Someone like your SIL will just get worse if she keeps getting away with this stuff.

Answer 5

Sounds like the seriously ill sister-in-law has one pulled over you.
Sit down and have a talk with her, tell her that just like she makes the mess she needs to clean it and ask her about the missing itemm? Don't assume she has them maybe your granny is getting somethings and putting them away.Sometimes old people do things and don't remember especially since you said she has dementia, but your sis-in-law could be using this as an excuse to get away with things, good luck!

Answer 6

Sounds like your sister in law is a huge pain to put it nicely. Any chance of convincing your mom to kick her out? Any chance you can talk to your brother about his wife? How she is acting is not right and sounds like she's getting away with it. It will continue unless someone stops her. Some people are just that way...selfish, nasty behaving. They aren't happy unless they are stirring up trouble. I personally try to stay far away from people like that if possible. Unfortunately in your case she's living with you and a relative. Living with other relatives can be really rough especially if they are lazy and don't pick up after themselves or help out. It's your mom's house and if she can, she should talk to your brother. Your brother needs to get his wife under control out of respect for your mother and them living in her house.

Answer 7

u and your mum should sit together with ur brother and tell him that his wife has took over that house. tell him everythin she is sayin and doin and make him understand that ur mum cant IN NO WAY take this any more after dealing with her husbands death. tell him she is harming everyone includin u and ur mom feels no longer comfortable in her own house. say if dis dont stop u will have to move out cuz we r not ready to take it. actually u cant really change a person cuz if shes made liek dat she will always talk behind ur backs so please make an effort and find ur own house.
dont b afrain to talk and stand up

Answer 8

Look dont say any thing to her yet first tell your brother then call a family meeting and you talk to her infront of everyone that way she has to come up with the truth because she cant spread lies about someone ellse.

PRAY FOR HER!!!!!

Answer 9

Perhaps it is time your mother step in and "advise" your brother that it is time for him to grow up and move his family into a place of their own. You and your mother have enough to deal with and don't need such a problem-making woman in your home.

Answer 10

hye ...have an easy mind...

now something that catches my attention is her talking about others...that can be easily stop...u can tell her to stop it and talk to your family about this subject and confront her but do it "in love"...so u adn the family and her wont get to a bigger argument.
I had in my house a lot!...but I did confront ....and stopped, the best is also not to pay attention.
If she si doing all this ,...u don't need to move...your brother and her need to move!...keep helping your mother,,,
maybe it sounds stupid...but it works...
try praying to God...ask him 4 direction.
Love ya...
God bless u.
have peace.