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We have covered several things, but we've never been married before. Anyone out there have any suggestions?

2006-08-08 17:33:02 · 19 answers · asked by justkiddingu 2 in Family & Relationships Weddings

19 answers

1) What do each of you expect will change after marriage
2) What do each of you expect will stay the same after marriage
3) What fears or concerns to each of you have about marriage
4) What are your hopes for this marriage

Be specific in the short-term and long-term answers to these questions.

2006-08-08 17:38:14 · answer #1 · answered by Q 2 · 1 0

For starters

• Marriage expectations
• Personality issues
• Communication
• Conflict Resolution
• Financial Management


• Leisure Activities
• Sexual Relationship
• Children and Parenting
• Family and Friends
• Role Relationship
• Spiritual Beliefs
• Couple Closeness
• Family Closeness
• Couple Flexibility
• Family Flexibility



And this

http://apps.cignabehavioral.com/web/basicsite/bulletinBoard/beforeYouGetMarried.jsp

2006-08-08 17:47:32 · answer #2 · answered by weddrev 6 · 0 0

There are lots of things you should find out before you get married. Here are some ideas; religion, kids( when and how many) where you want to live, would you be willing to move if a job took you elsewhere, how you will handle the money. Also, this is really important especially if you have never had a really big fight before. Make rules for fighting, for example, no cussing while fighting or name calling and no using the D word ( divorce).

2006-08-08 17:40:59 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

There are so many things to talk about. What are your spending habits? Are you the type who pays off your credit cards in full every month while she only pays the minimum balance? Do you intend to merge bank accounts or keep the separate? Where do each of you want to settle down? Do you want kids? What are your feelings about someone staying home with children, and who should do it? What are your religious beliefs? If they are different, how are you going to blend them for a family? In your familiy lives, which of your parents ran the household (people tend to do as their parents did, so this can be problematic if her mom ran her household while your dad ran yours)? What are your goals?

These are issues that will come up during marriage. Keep in mind that money fights are the most common.

2006-08-09 05:03:30 · answer #4 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 0 0

Anything and everything you can think of....money...your thoughts and his on spending, saving, how much is ok to spend with out discussing it as a couple? 50? 100? more or less? SEX...how much, how often? what you like what he likes....children? when and how many? Will you continue to work after the children are born? Holidays...where do you spend them? Household chores...how do you share them? Religion? Church goer's or not? Eating out? entertainment...movies etc? There are so many things. Where are you going to live? Spending time as couple, with family, with single friends? TV how much? Weekends? There are so many things. Talk talk and talk. Be fair, and remember why you are getting married in the first place. What are your goals? Your hopes and dreams? vacations? Home ownership? Consumer debt? Good luck.

2006-08-08 17:40:39 · answer #5 · answered by sleepless in the ATL 3 · 0 0

Here are some things that commonly come up during marriage encounter sessions that would be good discussion starters for you.
Anything to do with money, decision making, whose going to make it, credit cards and how much debt are you comfy with, your spending styles, budgeting, personal goals and aspirations, life insurance, religion, birth control and infertility, if you want children, when and number of them if any, how you will raise these kids (spanking, social needs kids etc..), pets, infidelity, weaknesses, drugs and drinking, sexuality, role of your extended family and friends in your marriage. How much TV, porn, internet, balancing a career vs homelife, honesty and white lies.
Where will you spend your holidays, expectations of household chores, your health and responsibility towards each other in sickness. Especially VIP to talk about the role in in laws desires for you as a couple vs your needs as an individual person and discuss what things need to remain private between the two of you and what things are okay to talk about to others.

Make time for each other, share your thoughts now, be respectful of the ideas offered when you have these heart to hearts. Good luck to you.

2006-08-08 18:02:13 · answer #6 · answered by funschooling m 4 · 0 0

Make sure you talk about money (who will pay the bills, policy on saving and spending, any pre-marital debt), sex, children (how many and how to raise them), religion, where and how you want to live, and communication. Really make a point to get to know each other. Ask the hard questions. Make sure you're ready and know that your relationship comes first. Spend more time planning your life together than the wedding. Allow yourself to mourn losing your singleness - talk about that and also discuss what you think you'll gain. Tell each other why you want to marry each other. Make a list and share it. Save it and pull it out when you're thinking about throwing him/her under a train to remind yourself why you love him/her in the first place. You'll need to be reminded at times. Trust me.

2006-08-08 19:44:32 · answer #7 · answered by CSB 1 · 0 0

Talk about future needs, kids, religion, careers, are you going to be a housewife, or spend a fortune on child care? Expectations out of each other when you two are married. I heard a lot of ppl go to a marriage councelor before they get married, just to see if it will last. Likes and Dislikes of each other. Good Luck, and Congrats!!!

2006-08-08 17:39:35 · answer #8 · answered by amandameibeyer 4 · 0 0

Romantic Questions. "Growing closer through intimate conversation" by Gregory J.P. Godek is one of my favorite books. I have had this specific book for 6 years and still use it every once in a while. It gets you and your fiance, hubby, partner to talk about things you wouldnt have thought to talk about. Things from Partnership to your childhood. Over 1000 questions you would NEVER think of. Lots of fun.

2006-08-08 17:39:29 · answer #9 · answered by BluEyez01 2 · 0 0

First off...tell him about those feelings you really have been having about that guy that you met on yahoo answers. Yes... you know who... "the thoughtless ponderer". If he is ok with you loving me.... more than him... .then what else is there to talk about?!?

Ok...seriously....
1. Goals in life.... make sure you know each others goals in life... either they should be the same...or they should be compatible. I dont think one of you should want to quit working and volunteer in africa, while the other wants to raise a family in kansas. that wouldn't work

2. Kids? do you want them? does he? What if you change your mind? I mean.... would that change your relationship? While you may "KNOW" what you want now..we all change constantly. Maybe he changes more than you? Talk it out.

3. WHO GETS TO NAME THE KIDS! lol... jk. I would fight to the death to get to name my sons... she can name the daughters! muwahahaha first born son.. will be named Zeus! I'm kidding...seriously.

4. Family. Do you need to be around your family? Does he? What is important to each of you... make sure you clear this up. Also talk about what happens AFTER you have kids (if you do)...will you move closer? will you move away?!?! HAHA.

5. Finances. Will you both work? Will you quit working if you get pregnant? Find out what his expectations are.

6. Make sure he isn't a star trek geek.....'nough said right? If not....just think of the conventions you could go to....o0o0o0o...ahhhhh ... LOL.

I wish you the best!

2006-08-08 18:30:54 · answer #10 · answered by the_thoughtless_ponderer 4 · 0 0

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