GOOD JOKES ????? Please keep as clean as possible .Thanks
2006-08-08 17:26:58 · 4 answers · asked by ₦âħí»€G 6 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Life is sexually transmitted.
Good Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one
can die.
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a
person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in
hospitals dying of nothing.
Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no
attention to criticism.
Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and
a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the
world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have
come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
I had amnesia once -- or twice.
Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.
All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
If the world were a logical place, men would ride horses
sidesaddle.
What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
They told me I was gullible . . . and I believed them.
Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when
he grows up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto a freeway.
Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.
Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is
gone.
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other
people.
A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll
show you a man who can't get his pants off.
It's not an optical illusion. It just looks like one.
Is it my imagination or do buffalo wings taste like chicken???
2006-08-08 17:41:39 · answer #1 · answered by aghostprofilebeingempty 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
First time on Yahoo answers so forgive my etiquette. Somehow I got here while finding out what a Kabusa or some such Jap junk was. Right on with the Harley. Still got my tricked out, original owner 98,000 mile sportster. Seen any Kows that meet that standard? My 01 Road King's the smoothest riding, most reliable skoot I've owned in 43 years of riding. Forgot to mention the Sportster celebrated its 30th birthday last St Patty's day.
2006-08-09 01:14:33 · answer #2 · answered by Sportster Paul 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Three dogs were walking down the street when they saw this really cute poodle. They whispered amongst themselves and decided that they would go and talk to her. The three dogs went up to the poodle and chatted with her. As soon as she understood their intentions, she said, "Since I am such a special dog, I shall set a task for each of you. The dog who can use the words 'liver' and 'cheese' the most creatively will be my boyfriend."
The first dog steps up and says, "I love liver and cheese!"
The poodle cocks her head and says, "Well, that's very nice, but it's not very creative, is it?" She turns to the second dog and says, "How about you?"
The second dog thinks for a second then proudly declares, "I hate liver and cheese!"
The poodle just shakes her head and makes a tsk tsk tsk sound.
The third dog, who is the chihuahua from Taco Bell, steps up the the poodle and whispers in her hear, "Check this out." He looks at the other two dogs and says, "Liver alone, cheese mine!"
2006-08-09 00:37:20 · answer #3 · answered by Bastet's kitten 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why did the chicken push the cat into the water.
2006-08-09 00:31:13 · answer #4 · answered by BoRiQuA_MaMi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋