is it true that, if a guy says he doesnt know what he wants, that he doesnt want you?

Question

i just read this in an ad for a book and it makes sense to me. my bf says he doesnt know what he wants and I told him this phrase but he says that isnt true. but i kind of think it is... just wondering what others thought.

lol i read these before but the thing is, he doesnt do any of these. i know he still loves me but i know that sometimes that isnt enough


Warning signs that he's just not that into you.
1. He never makes plans with you in advance.
2. He talks too much about an ex-girlfriend.
3. He won't talk about the future
4. He doesn't plan anything for special occasions like your birthday or Valentine's Day!!!
5. He lets you do all the work and doesn't plan dates, etc.
6. He's overly guarded about cell phone and email messages.
7. He has no interest in your friends and family.
8. He cancels on you all the time.
9. He flirts and asks for your number but never calls you.

Answer 1

I believe that in your flawed reasoning, you are blaming yourself for his indecisiveness in regards to your relationship. Honey, this guy is unsure of himself because of unresolved issues within his own personality and about commitment with women. And there is nothing wrong in the way you relate to him or in your character that makes him this way. The way I see it is, that you feel your inability to help him find a resolution about your relationship makes you feel all the more helpless. Chronic exposure to this man's uncertainty about his feelings toward you or the relationship will inevitably drill a slow and painful hole through the center of your self-esteem.
The ultimate guilt manipulation comes when he says that he understands how you might be sick and tired of his problems with making a commitment and wouldn't blame you if you left him for somebody better- even though he loves you a lot!
There is no easy solution when you find yourself in love with a man whose way of relating to you is destructive to your happiness. Try to keep in mind that this guy honey, the basic problem is his and come off of his personality!

Answer 2

Yep! It's called "he's just not that into you."

A guy who wants you doesn't beat around the bush or playing retarded child games...he will make you his.

Hey girl....here are a list of danger signs that a dude ain't diggin ya!

1. He never makes plans with you in advance.
2. He talks too much about an ex-girlfriend.
3. He won't talk about the future
4. He doesn't plan anything for special occasions like your birthday or Valentine's Day!!!
5. He lets you do all the work and doesn't plan dates, etc.
6. He's overly guarded about cell phone and email messages.
7. He has no interest in your friends and family.
8. He cancels on you all the time.
9. He flirts and asks for your number but never calls you.

Answer 3

You know how sometimes when you go shopping for a dress and you don't know exactly what the dress is going to look like until you actually buy it? That's exactly what this is all about. A guy says he doesn't know what he wants because he still hasn't found his true love. Unfortunately for you it means his true love isn't you because he already knows you and he obviously doesn't think you are "it". It's called the process of elimination. Most guys won't know what they want, unfortunately, until they've gone through a divorce. Even if he did decide that you were the one, years later he may still decide that he was wrong or that you no longer meet his needs. The difference is, if he thinks you are the one, at least he will make the effort to please you, for a few years, until things change. If he "doesn't know what he wants" but continues to be with you, he will never really be committed, he's just waiting for "the one" to appear. It's like holding on to a dress that you may buy until you locate the dress that you eventually do buy, at which point you stop looking for a more perfect dress and pay the cashier. A guy who doesn't know what he wants will never stop looking for a more perfect dress. And when he looks, he will usually find someone whom he thinks is a better fit, even if you were the best fit that could possibly have existed. Cut your losses and move on.

Answer 4

Yes. Unfortunately, it is true. That is the best a guy can come up with to tell you he does not want a relationship with you. They are such chicken shits. I know from personal experience and, it sucks!!! I'm sorry that he told you that. I have heard that line before. Another popular one is "I don't want a relationship right now." BULL-SH*T!! When a guy says that he means he does not want a relationship with the person he told that to. I have had a few guys tell me that and a week or two later they are with another girl. I don't know how long you and your boyfriend were together but, as much as it might hurt, just pick up and move on to the next. Forget him. If someone truely cares for you and loves you, they will be with you no matter what. But, your boyfriend probably isn't lying to you. He probably doesn't know what he wants right now because he thinks something better has come along. But, think of it this way. If he can't come out and actually tell you the truth, why would you want to be with him anyway? The Dirty Dog!

Answer 5

No, it isn't universally true. It may be true occasionally.

Women have a tendency to look at a statement like "I don't
care." for some deep hidden sub-meaning with long thought
about implications.

However, there are times when people just ... don't care.

Similarly, "I don't know" may be away of deflecting pain, but
it may also be because he doesn't know.

There are enough times when men don't know when they
indicate that they do. Women should not push them beyond
saying "I don't know" unless they seriously think it is just
a deflection.

Otherwise, we'll never find our way home...

Answer 6

It is true to a certain extent. If you really want something, nothing should be able to stop you from fighting for it, unless you don't really want it that bad. Now there is a chance he might not realize how much he is interested in you, as people often take others for granted. It is highly likely though there is some doubt about his feelings for you.

Answer 7

How old is this person? Not all men are into attacking their girlfriends. Maybe he has inner demons that he is dealing with. I don't necessarily think he dosen't want you. Hey has it ever crossed your mind that maybe just maybe he isn't into women and hasn't quite figure out a way to tell the world yet?

Answer 8

Sorry to tell you this, but most guys don't know what they want. Even when they seem determined and go after you, and do all those beautiful things that you want them to do... even they, sometimes have no idea what is it that they want. Some men just know what is expected of them and they do this.

I don't think that it HAS to be mean that he doesn't want you, he might be undecided, but as I said before... Most ment are usually undecided.

Answer 9

I'm not sure what you mean.
Doesn't know what he wants in the relationship?
Or in life?

If it's in life, unless stated other wise, he does still want you.
But relationship wise, he may be loosing interest.

Answer 10

I think if a guy says "I don't know what I want" then it's a pretty damn good chance that he really doesn't know what he wants.