My brother is a 24 year old low-life drug addict who doesnt work, who has been in and out of rehab, and disprespects my mother and her house. My mother refuses to make him work or pay for food or necessities. She refuses to kick him out or even give him a deadline. Its gotten to the point where she is in complete denial of the situation: no one is allowed to talk about it with her. If anyone brings it up, she ignores it and pretends like she didnt hear. She is only making my brother worse, and the only way he has any hope of becoming an independent, functioning human being is for her to confront the situation, stop supporting him and make him leave. Is it going to take the entire family abandoning her to make my mom get a clue? She's been supposed to marry her boyfriend for years now, but he wont marry her if my brother lives there. We're afraid he's going to leave her. Why should he have to deal with my brother his entire life?
2006-08-08 16:46:16 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
this has been going on for over 3 years now. We've all tried to talk to her. I'm honestly more concerned about her than my brother. She really is acting mentally ill. the worst part is that the exact same thing happened with her mother and brother--my 50 year old uncle still lives with my grandma! she could have learned from that! instead, she's doing the exact same thing KNOWING it is wrong.
2006-08-08 17:20:53 · update #1
You have to let her do what she wants to do. She's obviously aware of the situation, and may feel like she failed him as a parent and has to make up for it.
All you can do is make sure he's prosecuted if he ever steals from or hurts one of you. That will get him out of the house, at least for a while.
2006-08-08 16:56:02 · answer #1 · answered by Catspaw 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some mothers are just like that. They know there is a problem, but they feel it's their responsibility because somehow, in their minds, they are the ones to blame. And I'm more than sure your brother contributes to that crazy line of logic more than you know. It's apparent she is enabling him to continue this, but with her line of thinking, it's not about to stop anytime soon. I believe she is honestly convinced that if she doesn't take care of him, nobody will and he'll die. I saw an episode of the Dr. Phil show with exactly this type of situation. I mean almost identical. (the only difference was that the mom and dad were married). Your plea sounds desperate and although I can only sympathize, because I have no experience in this, I would suggest calling the show for help. They helped that couple and their son, maybe they can help you. I should also let you know, he kept tabs on the family to make sure everyone was doing their part and in the end, they were successful in getting this kid into rehab, drug free and taking responsibility in his life without the financial support of his parents. Good luck honey, and please don't give up on your mother. She sounds like a wonderful person who is carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders. She knows what she is doing is probably wrong...but as a mom, she's just trying to do her job.
2006-08-08 17:01:26 · answer #2 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know this might not be very likely but from the sound of him do you think that your He might have threatened your mom too keep her mouth shut about it maybe when you where not around people will kill there own family if they get on the wrong drugs you know. I would try talking to your mom about it when its just you 2 alone if you have not done that already. sorry i cant be of any more help but im sure you will get plenty of other anwsers on here and yes you can get him kickt out if you turn him in or find a way to catch him when he has the drugs and turn him in just check the laws and make sure your mom does not get the wrap for not turning him in herself cuz cps could take you away if your under 18 and there is people doing drugs in the house and she knows about it so im just saying be careful about how you do it if your going too. And i dont say it as if to be mean to your brother in the end we all know that he needs to get a life so in a way its not being mean but doing what is best for him but i myself would try many many things first work it out with your mom try some dr.fill the last thing i would want to do is kick him out or turn him in so i can understand how your mom feels sometimes doing the right thing is the hardest thing to make yourself do it. lol so much for grammar lol sorry everyone im a lazzy typer.
2006-08-08 16:56:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Force your mother to sit down with you and state exactly what you said here. Tell her she is ruining her own life. As long as she allows your brother to live there she is not helping him, she is becoming an enabler to his habit. Explain he will have no option except to straighten out if she tosses his butt out the door. Right now she is his worst enemy by letting him stay with her and being supported by her.
2006-08-08 16:55:20 · answer #4 · answered by older woman 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah..while your out of the house, call in the drug taskforce on him....lmao(sorry, that lmao, is more of a evil laugh.)
2006-08-08 16:57:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
accuse him of having sex in yur house that will work it worked for me
2006-08-09 11:02:04 · answer #6 · answered by Jkuana J 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋