I read all these posts on here about people who break up with a person they love. My question is why? Why do people leave the ones they love? As you might tell I'm looking for an answer for myself. My fiance recently left me after 5 years. We were in the middle of planning the wedding, moving, starting new jobs. Then literally the next day, it's all over. We were getting married in a month. She used the usual excuse "I love you, but I'm not in love with you." Am I suppose to believe that? After 5 wonderful years, all the history we have together, all the plans we made for the future? I've only talked to her a couple times in the past few months and she says she wants me to remain a part of her life, but that she can't be with me. I'm completely devastated and this is the weirdest thing I've ever gone through. By the way she is already dating another guy. This guy is 7 years older than her, with 2 kids, and in the process of getting a divorce. It's like she's not even the same person.
2006-08-08 16:44:35 · 5 answers · asked by untrepublican 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
it's hard to put ur finger on it..but u CAN love someone, but know ur not right for eachother. that happened w/ my ex.... we were happy at first, but it started turning into stupid argument, and resentment, misunderstandings....i broke it off, but we dated for a year afterwards... then he broke it off, and i was so miserable. it's like, thru that i knew that he loved me, and i felt that i loved him, but something was missing. something wasn't right in the relationship, and we cared for each other, but i couldn't really see a future w/ him. i would get scared, and wonder if i could actually be w/ this guy, get along w/ his family, him get along w/ mine (my mom didn't like him at all).... it bothered me that i cared for this person, why is the future so shaky? then we broke it off, i felt soooo alone and miserable.......
i cried. i prayed for the First time in YEARS...(i had just started going back to church, but i hadn't really started praying again). i prayed to God, that if this guy was the one, to bring him back to me. but if he wasn't, to bring me someone who was good for me, and who i was good for. a week later, a guy at church who i had NO interest in at first, started catching my eye. i was busy wondering how i could get to know him, when a couple days later he emailed me! (he got my email from someone at church). he said he'd been wanting to ask me out for coffee, and i said yes!
he is now my bf for 7+ months..and it's been So Awesome. i've never had such a fulfilling relationship in my life! we've been thru ups and downs, but we've made it thru STRONGER each time, and i've never experienced that before. usually i feel that we argue, and the relationship deteriorates, and i feel misunderstood, unappreciated...but this guy Wants to work on us, he Wants to communicate, he Wants to learn how to make Us happy. it is truly an amazing relationship, and i find myself appreciating him more and more each day.
the craziest thing is that my ex kept calling me a LOT when i started dating this guy...and i know in my heart that if God didnt' bring my new bf into my life so quickly after i prayed for him, that i probably would've gotten back w/ my ex, just because we were lonely, and we did care for eachother. u have to realize that these things happen for a reason...she has saved u from MORE heartache than if u had actually gotten married. i know it's hard for u to understand, and probably her too, because she says she does care for u, but if it's not right, it's just not right.
think about it this way... if u TRULY love her, u should let her go.. w/ no hard feelings, no hatred, no more hurt. because u want the best for her, and u want her to be happy. when u find the right woman, she will not do what this woman has done to you. she will want the Best for you, and want You to be happy, no matter what cost. it doesn't mean that this woman didnt' love u, but it meant u were not right for eachother. please, let her go, and let yourself heal again, so that u can find the right person who will love u unconditionally, because she chooses to, not because she was forced to.
2006-08-08 16:59:38 · answer #1 · answered by sasmallworld 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I didn't leave my Marine, he left me, he joined up and left me. The "excuse"... "I love you, but I'm not in love with you." It's not an excuse, usually it's the truth. I loved my boyfriend, every moment, of every day of my life with him. But no, we weren't "In love" with each other, so we seperated, it was the best thing for the two of us. For me, it's nice to have him in my life, for him, it's better for me not to be a large part of it. We're still friends, not as close as we were, but we're still together, in a way. Again I'll say, we don't want to leave the person we honestly love, but if you think about it, if you were meant to be together, you would be.
2006-08-09 00:05:54 · answer #2 · answered by ooh_rah07 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont feel bad im in the same boat and i hate it. me and my husband are seperated for 4 months now and its if hes not the same person. this girl is pregnant and honestly i dont believe its even his. i think maybe she was already having an affair and was confused. it hurts ill be the first to admit that. but if she loves you then shell be back. and even if she doesnt come back you will always share the memories that once were. good luck and stay strong
2006-08-08 23:50:21 · answer #3 · answered by grniz07 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow it's like you wrote everthing about mylife down to the T. I really think its because their scared of a comittment my fiance broke up with me a week befor our six year annv. and used the same excuse. He's totally changed. we even have a 4 year old together. I think they want that fuzzy felling again.
2006-08-08 23:54:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im sorry. That is just what we do. My love and I broke up not to long ago, because he cheated on me. I was scared that I let somone get that close to my heart. It really made me nervouse... So we are now over. I want to stay friends with him, because I love him. But Im no longer in love with him because he scared me. I love him to death and he is still the guy I want to call when somthing happened, good or bad. My advice is just be friends with her. She still loves you and cares very much about you. She just wants to see how much your willing to fight for her love. To make sure loving you will not hurt her.
2006-08-08 23:55:54 · answer #5 · answered by kreepyemily 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋