How many graduates of home-school consider yourselves to be socially retarded?

Question

And how many graduates of public-school consider yourselves to be socially retarded? ....and.... why?

Seriously, this is a worthwhile poll.

I'll be the first to answer: I'm a public-school retard. My grades were great -- in the 3.65 range. But, due to overwhelming social pressures I did not pursue the courses that would have given me an edge as a graduate. Students made fun of my "smart" abilities and therefore I did a good job of hiding them.

FYI: I am a successful home-school mom and grandma -- toying with the idea of college for myself -- but first.... to get out of debt. 2 of my students have graduated. One is a non-retarded successful business man and the other is an equally non-retarded college student. :-)

onemorganlover....
Your post is fun! Thank you for the laugh!
I'm past the stage of "young adult".... but I hope your words will encourage those that need it!

"Socially retarded" is a very ambiguous phrase --- it is extremely difficult to define isn't it?

Labels are that way. The judgement upon another will mean 100 different things to 100 different people.

Is there any hope of public school students and/or teachers accepting the fact that home-schoolers can do a good job? It is an alternative that works. It is sad that the gov't requires teachers to attend gov't universities and receive gov't degrees. These poor teachers are crippled by gov't regulations (from the mouth of my best friend -- a public certified school teacher). So, do you see it? The gov't charges you money to go to their schools to learn their agenda to be able to teach what you have heard to children. Hmmmmm.... money, regulations.... money.... hmmmmmm. If YOU as a teacher could really teach, I mean really really teach wouldn't you be more happy than you are now? Homeschoolers are not a threat to your job --- they will hopefully help make it betteer.

In reading my previous comment I hope that you understand what I meant.... I don't mean that teachers cannot teach -- what I mean is wouldn't it be good if you had the freedom to really teach what you know without being held back by so many programs and rules and regulations?

Answer 1

I'm a public school graduate, and I am definitely socially retarded. I can't make small talk to save my life, I've never been one to be the social butterfly. One or two good friends is fine with me. I freeze up when put on the spot in public situations etc. I think a lot of it goes back to all of the teasing in school. I was smart, I got good grades, I didn't grow up as fast as the other kids. As a result I hated school and worked hard to graduate early...almost 10 years ago now. I rushed so much I was really lost when I got out. I'm just now in college and will get my degree next year.

Answer 2

Excellent Poll!!

It startles me that so many people place more of an emphasis on "socializing" children during the education years, K-12. Many of these answers are right on target. Homeschoolers, generally, are very socialized. However, the are socialized towards adults, rather than kids their own age. I'm not suggesting that we should isolate kids, nor am I attempting to "rob" them of a childhood. Perhaps the reason we all feel socially inept is that we were never taught how to talk and interact with other adults. Sure, maturity will naturally increase with age. However, if a mindless 6 year old spends most of the day interacting with other mindless 6 year olds, how in the world can you expect them to interact with other adults, regardless if they are 6 or 16?

I went to a relative's house for Thanksgiving. One of the nefews (age 16), came into the house, spread himself out on the sofa (he was a big kid), and turned on the TV. He didn't say high to the relatives whose house he just made his own. He didn't say Happy Thanksgiving to anyone else. He was very rude.

On the other hand, another niece (age 8), was taught to bring a gift to the hostess, which in this case was a small bouquet, that you say hello to the hosts when you arive, you say yes sir, yes maam when addressed by an adult (very big here in the South), and that you conduct your self as a guest, even if they say "Make yourself at home." After visiting for about 15 minutes, this girl hooked up with other nieces and nefews close to her age and played outside and had a great time, gasp, socializing with other kids who, but for the teenager, were equally polite and well behaved. When that 8 year old is an adult, she will be doing the same thing (one would hope).

These results are not typical of public school (the 16 year old) nor the homeschooler (the 8 year old). But I do see that a lot. The point is, public school doesn't teach you the social skills. Private school doesn't do much more. That's why we all feel socially inept. Homeshooling affords the "wholehearted" education. The get the reading, writing, math, history, science, arts, AND the social training.

Answer 3

As the social atmosphere in the average public high school has absolutely no bearing in the real world, one can only assume the home-schooled student is more adjusted. Given that wealth and success in today's age are dependent on smarts, it is actually the social atmosphere that is retarded. To have to hide "smarts" to get along is merely a further manifest of the perverse nature of the anti-intellectual movement. The majority result can only be a quest for ignorance, certainly a fool's pursuit.

High school is not a good time to reach one's peak.

Answer 4

Fear not! You can flaunt your smart abilities in college and the tables will be turned. No longer a public school retard, you will find yourself surrounded by post-secondary school morons and it will be your turn to shine! Don't worry about the classes you took, that's why there's Jr. College. I graduated HS barely literate and just earned my masters degree.

High school will soon be a fleeting moment in your eyes. Be yourself, whoever that is, do what you love and you will be happy.
You'll learn to socialize as a young adult.

For the record, I work for a home school charter and the whole social-retard thing is so yesterday. Today kids get together and socialize in so many other, constructive ways, and then they get to be themselves because they didn't have all that peer-preasure weighting them down.

Answer 5

Let's put it this way. I am a public high school graduate. I was very social then. I didn't have a lot of "friends", but I knew everyone. I was an outcast because I refused to drink and do drugs. I was shunned when I refused to give 6 guys BJs at a party. (I had a boyfriend). Do I want my kids to have to feel the way I did? Nope. I can't say I'm a social retard, because I can function in society. However, I didn't learn that in school. To this day, my only real friends are my husband and one girl I ran with in MIDDLE SCHOOL. I don't speak to anyone I knew from high school except my husband.

Answer 6

I believe that retarded is not the right word. Maybe deprived. But that also depends on you outside interests. Are you socially active with people your age now? Do you go to movies or other places with your friends? There is nothing wrong with home schooling as long as it is structured. Home schooled children have gone on and had excellent careers. Our situations are what we make them to be. You can be home schooled and have a wonderful social life.

Answer 7

I wasn't home-schooled, but I'm a socially stunted Christian school retard. I went to a very small fundie Baptist church/school. They led me to believe that I was incredibly smart. Several years later I opened my eyes to the real world and went to college and found out exactly how socially & academically stunted I was.

Fortunately, my persistence mitigated my academic deficiencies and I graduated with a BS in Physics (I crammed 4 years into 7) and am now working toward a PhD.

As for the social skills--I've improved a lot since then, but thanks to 18 years of fundie-induced brain damage, I still find myself fighting an uphill battle for normalcy.

Answer 8

dina
15 minutes ago



I did a research paper on home schooling about 10 years ago and discovered that, contrary to what most of us think, home schooled kids actually have better socialization skills than non-home schooled kids. They also score significantly higher on standardized tests than do non-home schooled kids. This all makes sense given the individualized instruction that homeschooling allows, along with the diverse social settings it affords (home schooled kids spend their time with people of all ages as opposed to being with same-age peers all day). And in a graduate class I took last summer, I learned that colleges are scouting for home schooled kids to enter their schools because of their strong academic, social, and leadership skills. It used to be that parents chose to home school their kids for strictly religious reasons, but today parents are choosing to home school for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is that public schools are failing their kids. Also, I have met many, many home schooled kids and for the most part have found them to be so much more mature for their ages, and generally overall more interesting to interact with than their non-home schooled peers, and yes, without being nerds! The facts speak for themselves. Do your research and you will see it for yourself.

Answer 9

I was not homeschooled but my own mother wishes she had had the courage to do so. I made better than average grades as well but I will be honest, that is because my Mom took the time to teach me what I could not learn in a classroom of harried teachers and pressure to conform.
My girls have never set foot in a "classroom" or had a "teacher" but I am here to tell you they have had as many instructors as any highschool graduate. Every adult and child they meet teaches them a little bit more about the world, and when they were very young and needed me to be there I was, now that they are sure of themselves they still come to me to discuss things that bother them or that need explaining. How many kids do the same for their parents?
I never was able to go to a social setting and feel comfortable and became almost a shut-in though I was not at all physically unattractive. I was not taught how to deal with people of other backgrounds or socially unacceptable behaviour in school, I was told ignore it, bully back, keep quiet until I forgot how betrayed I felt at first and simply hung on until I could get out. I vowed that this would NEVER happen to my children. I was tormented and teased for amoung other things being short (as if I could control that), having brown hair, having brown eyes and for being intelligent. I swore I was too fat though I weighed in at 30+ pounds underweight.
I have allowed the REAL world to educate my children in social behaviour and I am amazed at my daughters social skills and true comfort in being around strangers. They are appropriately worried about putting thenselves in vulnerable positions but are completely free when meeting new people to be themselves.
Let me clue those nay-sayers who argue for instutionalized socialization: Schools are not the real world. Never as adults are we told be friendly, get to know only these people in your age level and then sit down and shut up. Try to learn and be curious about the world but never ever express this curiosity...conform to some industry standard and make the grade.
We meet a variety of people everyday and are judged by our reactions to them and never once has ANYONE meeting my daughters for the first time pegged them as "weird homschooled" kids.
My daughter gets a real thrill from being able to tell people that she is in such and such grade but that her Mom is her teacher and harder than any stranger could ever be on her. She says she feels she could fool a teacher who has to stand up in front of 20-30 students but she has to do her best work for her mom. She is currently in third grade. We have never defended our decision to homeschool in front of our daughters and we recieve full support from my rather large extended family.
It is my fervent hope that in a few years time my daughter will be able to answer, "How weird is it to believe that 15 minutes of instruction and four hours of make work will teach anything?" or "How could I learn socialization from a bunch of kids my age who are trying to learn it themselves without adult guidance and supervision?"
The many bloody noses and hanks of hair I had torn out by the roots answer that socialization by public school if a craps shoot at best and downright criminal, if not deadly, at worst.

Answer 10

Guess and check.