My ex owes me back child support, should I collect?

Question

My ex stopped paying child support about 1 year ago. I have been pretty nice about it. When she first stopped, I use to ask her about it but she would always get upset and we would start to argue so I would drop it. I'm just like every other single parent, I have a bugget and sometimes things would get tight.

Geez, this could be a long story but I don't want to bore you. So I will get down to it. She received a letter from the attorney general saying she owes back child support. She wants me to forget about it and tell them she owes me nothing. She's giving me a sad story she can't pay since she's not working. Oh, did I mention she's remarried and just bought a house last year? She's makes me feel guilty for wanting her to pay the past child support. She says I'm not a man, a man wouldn't let a woman pay child support. What should I do? I keep trying to tell her, its for her son,,not me.

Answer 1

OMG! Do not let this drop! a deadbeat parent will always be a deadbeat parent. Please do not let this go!

I gave up on $5000 with the promise it would not happen again (he happened to get drunk, lose his job, and poor man went on disability because he ran his bike into a tree). So after this court date...and a raise in what I was to receive (and spousal support waived forever, with full custody awarded to me) he again got drunk for about 2 years (with drugs added) lost the job again, can't get disability, is homeless, and will probably try to get the $14,000 plus that he owes waived sometime in the near future...because the children's needs like food, shelter, clothes, roof, etc have not been needed the entire time he has been a flake deadbeat dad.
No, I have ruined my financial standing making up for his lack of stepping up to the plate, I refuse to argue with him, I will simply tell him pay up, or don't call.

DO NOT LET THIS GO! It will repeat and repeat and repeat....leopards and theirs spots, man!

I am sorry this is happening to you, but remember it takes two to argue...silence can do wonders if it is you being silent while she rants. You are not guilty, you are a parent with expenses & she seems to not care about her son. She is stupid to think you will be keeping the money for you (assuming you would not). Do not let her twist you.

Answer 2

It's her son too. If the shoe was on the other foot, do you think she would sit back and do nothing? Would you tell her, "Your not a woman?" I think not. Get an attorney. Legal advice is free for the first visit. Whether she has a job or not, if she is capable of working, the courts may deem that she could be making 10k per year and in a way, force her to seek employment. Whether she is employed or not, she will be subjected to pay you child support. And if she still refuses to pay, if support from her is ordered by the courts, and she doesn't pay, she will be in contempt and may serve time in jail. Do what is in the best interest of your son. Oh, and by the way, you can not get any monies from her new husband, only her.

Answer 3

First things first.Being a man has nothing to do with her not paying child support.You have nothing to feel ashamed about because you are not the DeadBeat Parent.She is.If it was the other way around and you gave the judge a sad or hard luck story,he would tell you to Pay Up.What happened to the equality feminist are always spouting about?This is a fine example of what they do.They only want to pick and choose the type of equality when it suits them.Stop feeling sorry for her because you child needs this money and he's entitled to it and if it were the other way,you would be in front of a judge getting yelled at for being a deadbeat.I've been where you are.Now put your heart in your back pocket and get yourself an attorney and get that money your child is entitled to.Don't fall for her whining.I wish you and your child success and happiness.Be strong.P.S. Don't speak to her about the money anymore.Take your attorneys advice.

Answer 4

I to am receiving child support and a it is very helpful. I say go for it since she is married and just bought a new house. You are the one with custody and I'm sure you have custody for a reason. Personally nothing against you but how come she doesn't have custody? I am a mother and I can't imagine what it would be like not having my children.To me it sounds like she is just trying to get out of her share of responsibilities and doesn't want to take care of her baby. It is understandable why you have your son and you need to make her pay. A real man (you) is doing what you should be doing and she is NOT a real women. Your son is fortunate to have you. My son's biological sperm donor didn't come into his life until he was nearly 6 years old and then stopped seeing him 8 months later (this could be a long, long story so I'm not gonna boare you, but he is not a man at all. That is why I said your son is lucky to have you, it's a shame that his mother doesn't want to take responsibility. GO FOR IT! You deserve it! Good luck!

Answer 5

Bottom line...whether custody was awarded to the mother or the father there is still another parent involved. The non custodial parent should have to provide support for the child.It does not make you less of a man by you seeking support from her. It took two people to create your son just the same as it should take two people to raise him...in that I mean support in every way. You should not have to struggle with providing for your son while she lives a carefree life and she sits back watching you be the sole provider for him. As a single parent myself I strongly feel that you should collect every last penny that she owes you. Regardless of her gender if she has a court order to pay child support then she should be forced to pay it!

Answer 6

If the roles were reversed, you darn bet you she would be doing everything in her power to collect back support. And everyone else would be leading the charge, crying about another deadbeat dad. Yet she is giving you the same sob story every guy gives to the women. You bet you need to collect from her every penny. If she doesn't have a job, too bad. A judge can order her to get a job or go to jail (they did that to my sister's ex). So she needs to get a job and start paying you what she owes you. It's not about you being a "man" or not, it's about her kid! It's about her doing her part to help raise that kid, and do her part to support the kid.

Please report her. If you lie to the court, you are committing a crime or two (perjury, accessory to fraud, aiding and abetting). Is she worth you getting caught and going to jail right along with her, and your kid will be in foster care. What kind of life is that?

Get her to pay.

Answer 7

As a woman it's embarrassing that a father request child support. Hey, did you pay her for the 9 months of emotional and physical pain she wen't through, or for the 15 hours of labor pain?. You owe her more than what she owes you for child support.
Be a MAN!

Answer 8

you know, if she can't recognize that the money is for the child and not for you, she deserves to pay back every last cent. it's not an issue of a "real man wouldn't make a woman pay child support". it's an issue about a real woman wouldn't ever dream about not paying child support for her own selfish reasons.

Answer 9

That's exactly it!!!!!!!!!
Why can't they see it is about their child not them?
I am a single mom and it makes me sick when the other parent refuses to help take care of the child they helped conceive.
Don't you dare let her off the hook!
I don't care what her sob story is.If it means sending her to jail or getting her driver's license revoked don't drop it!
I know it's hard to confront the other parent but it is for your son.See it through and make her pay.

Answer 10

Dang, that's a tough one. I'm assuming you have custody. Your Kid is your first priority. It's about your Child. Although collecting Child support from a Woman would definantly **** with my sense of pride as a Breadwinner, you gotta do what you gotta do. The fact that she is re-married and moving on with her life and shirking her responsibility as a Mother would piss me off. Go after the Wench, get the cash and get out of her life. And don't be such a co-dependent pussy about it.