Breaking up, why am I the bad guy if it is their fault?

Question

Broke up with my boyfriend of 4 1/2 months. His friends send me messages like I am a terrible person, but he started scaring me towards the end of the relationship and tried to be controlling. Now he tries to corner me whenever I am near him, and tries to talk to my family whenever he can.Telling his side to all to gain pity. He also text messages me and leaves very angry voicemails. I want to tell his friends what really happened so they would know why and stop asking me to talk to him, but they aren't my friends so I don't know if I should. I don't even think I should talk to him at all anymore, but this is my first relationship and I feel badly for not trying to be his friend. Everytime I try though, he tries to reattach and control things again. Should I even try to explain to people or just leave it alone? Is it really fair that I should be the bad guy to everyone if it is his fault and he's trying to make me seem heartless?

Answer 1

To be honest with you, there was not enough information to properly answer this question. I will try from what I feel out of what I am reading. I cannot tell you if it was your fault or his, since I dont see what happened to cause the break up. I can only assume it was something he did, since you broke up with him. However, he has been HARASSING you and having his friends do the same. This is unacceptable. There is no reason you should feel bad about leaving someone if you feel it was for the best. DO NOT let him make you feel bad, you don't need his pity party. You said you don't want to talk to him anymore, so don't. There is nothing stating you have to talk to any ex... and honestly, he is an ex for whatever reason it is...

When you leave someone, it is your right and your decision. No one can stop you from having your own choice. If he and his friends continue, you need to keep a record of it, and clearly tell him to leave you alone. If he doesn't you may need to have the police involved... take it from someone who has had something like this progress into something very scary because I let it continue. For your own safety, respect yourself, and never let him make you feel bad or uncomfortable about what you feel was necessary. Make it a point to tell him you will have the authorities involved, and stick to it if he continues. You gave him that chance, right?

I hope this helps you and good luck!

Answer 2

You did nothing wrong. Anger is really underlying hurt. He is so hurt right now that he's reaching out to his friends to support him. If there is a friend of his that you feel you could trust and tell you side then i think its ok, but know one should be verbally abusive to you. It's none of there business. If it get to out of hand you could file a resraining order.

Answer 3

gurl listen if he don't 2 b friends then forget about it.................... but if u want 2 prove to his friends that it isn't really yo fault then tape all his voicemails he b leaving u n tell them to listen to it........................ if they don't then leave it at that if u get a new bf let him kno the real deal......................... don't let any of yo bf friends nor him get to yo man first aight cause i just broke up w/ mine n he still want to get back w/ me don't worry i promise u this everything will blow over (eventually).................... and no its not yo fault if he starting actin crazy or just did something wrong in the relatonship then he should b a man bout it n take up for his own mistakes................... it don't mean u r heartless it just means that u kno wat kind of man u want

Answer 4

save his angry voice mails and emails and everything else, cut ties and if he still doesn't leave you alone, file a restraining order.

don't talk to any of his friends tell your parents what he is doing.

Answer 5

the reason alot of guys do that (not including me) is they want to look cool to their freinds and he probably is not brave enough to take the blame.

Answer 6

dnt b guilty if its his fault