I have been questioning wether I am one way or another. It is starting to get confusing. It seems I need help but there is no one I can trust when itcomes to my idenitiy. Is there a way to find myself without help from friends, family, or religion? I am a bit spiritual but dont like the idea of a God that controls our lives. And yes I have read the bible. so please dont suggest that.
2006-08-08 14:57:04 · 26 answers · asked by JoeDraco 4 in Health ➔ Mental Health
no I am not talking about sexuallity. I am straight.
2006-08-08 15:07:22 · update #1
first thing, i think, is that you need not rely on what others think of you so much. they aren't the ones that have to live by your life choices; you are.
i don't know how old you are, but you dont have to please mommy and daddy or the sibs if you are out on your own.
you need to get com-fortable in your own skin~ it will be yours for a long, long time.
everybody has their own perception of their higher power, and who has the right to shove theirs down your throat?
like i said, you are the one who has to live with who you become. don't worry~just do a gradual transformation: if you integrate slowly enough, maybe no one will notice.
keep your spirituality the way you want it... whoever is watching, well, he/she knows what is in our hearts; as long as we acknowledge that there is some type of a higher power, that is all that matters i think.
2006-08-08 15:19:24 · answer #1 · answered by breezy b 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you really want psychiatric (or religious) advice from the internet? =)
I am not sure what you are questioning since you did not state it clearly, but I am going to assume you are questioning whether or not you believe in god.
I am not a priest so I can't help you there. In fact even a priest can't help you with that..your relationship with god is a personal thing. Everybody has their own reasons for believing or not believing. You will find yours in time.
However..
These reasons will not help you to find yourself as in your persona. What is it you are searching for? Purpose in life? A reason to live? Focus to help accomplish your goals? If it is for yourself that you seek these things then you will probably not get far.. If it is for another, perhaps somebody that you love more than yourself, then yes, you will find your purpose.
By the way, regardless of what people tell you, do you really think God controls our lives? If that were the case then you would not have christians imploring you to be saved and to go to their churches. God would force you.
You are a free spirit with your own free will. You have the ability to live your life as you please. Granted there could be consequences if you decide to do things you shouldn't, but I digress.. Hope this helps. =)
2006-08-08 15:09:19 · answer #2 · answered by La Voce 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK - first of all God doesn't control our lives - He gave us free
will, we do it ourselves. So don't blame Him. You've read the
Bible, why would you say this?
I went through the same thing. When I turned 50 it hit me. When
you are alone it's worse, to me. I went into counseling - that's what I would suggest for you. You can trust them. That's why
there is patient confidentialty. No one but the 2 of you can discuss your issues, and it sounds like you may have some
major ones. Starting with self-esteem. You teach people how to
treat you - you have to be alittle more assertive - and a good
counselor can teach you how - I did. That's my suggestion.
Good luck.
2006-08-08 15:29:56 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is no reason to think that anybody else can tell you who you are better than yourself. This has never been a problem for me. Certainly, my morals contradict (I drive a mercedes and sip down hoity-toity mineral water yet am concerned about poverty in this country and around the world) as much as the next guy, but I have a reasonable idea of who I am.
2006-08-08 15:23:52 · answer #4 · answered by Dick Nixon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first thing to understand is that you already have your identity. You know your likes and dislikes. You know your strengths and weaknesses. You do not need to fit into any group or stereotype to have an identity. Take some time to develop your strengths and attributes. Enjoy yourself by doing things that you like. Work on your faults to make yourself more whole. You are who you are. Learn to love and respect yourself and the whole world will be at your feet.
2006-08-08 15:20:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Believe it or not, if your feeling that down about it- go see a therapist but just keep it on the DL. You wont believe how much it can actually help. It doesnt mean your crazy. They will never judge you. It's just another person trying to help you out with questions like these that we cant always answer on our own.
2006-08-08 15:04:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well in my opinion, I feel you shouldn't look to friends, family, or religion, because only you know you.Therefore find the things within yourself that makes you happy. Your focus should be on what makes you who you are, no matter what people say, think, or feel. If you learn how to love you, you would never have to worry about whats going on, on the outside. (WE) as people focus so much on the bad in our lives we forget about whats good in us, and around us. Find that peace and self freedom within yourself and forget what the media thinks or people. Who are they to judge what we should look like, talk, and walk like. The ones who judge us are the main ones that are unhappy with themselves. Just try to find what makes you happy, even if its as simple as sitting in the sand at your local beach watching the sun set and letting the tides roll in at your feet. Or sitting high up in the mountains watching the million stars brighten up the sky. Maybe even find the quite space in your house and read good book, or look into a nice spa in your area and just take time out for YOU and relax. You only live once, why not try to find that freedom inside of you and live your life in confidence in this crazy world. I hope I kind of helped you?, just remember someone out there cares about you. STRENGTH, COURAGE, & WISDOM. peace!
2006-08-08 16:07:17 · answer #7 · answered by missweetp 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There is a stage in our lives about "Identity and Role confusion"..on this stage each individual has to decide where he or she is going to stick with..Example:A male sometimes he acts as a man sometimes wants to be or to act like a lady(Gay),this certain individual didnt surpass the stage...he's still confuse of his identity...and at the end there is this feeling of discontentment...because he wans't able to make his decision..
We always need someone to lean on..whom we can share what's in our hearts...and people can help us by giving a lot of options what we are going to do, and it's still our choice...and every choices we make must not be blamed to ourselves if we fail...coz it is through failure we succeed.....
2006-08-08 15:10:20 · answer #8 · answered by xrae12 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I read your page. You like to do alot of indoor, secluded activities such as the computer, video games.....I would suggest going out and meeting people. Noone is just going to drop in your roof onto your lap(well, hopefully not) so, you just have to go out and DO something you normally wouldn't. Try the club, the bars, the library's, car races, concerts....ect. You will eventually get out of your rut! I wish you the best....
2006-08-08 15:03:23 · answer #9 · answered by Ca-C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can pray and it has helped but.. it is a phase.. normal.. which way do u mean one way or another u mean gay or straight or mean or good? U can control ur life they way u are most comfortable and accepting urself.. do that .. try that .. what makes u happy the best.. then do that .. u will find urself when u are happy in and out .. try reiki as well .. positive energy
2006-08-08 15:02:51 · answer #10 · answered by gypsygirl731 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋