Do you have any ideas on how to stop thinking of and planning suicide?

Question

I am a disappointment. I am a burden to my family. They say,"Why can't you be normal?" I am Bipolar, severe. I misinterprete things people say. I hallucinate. I feel that I don't have anything in common with anyone. I feel that I don't have any friends. No one understands me. I'm tired of bothering people with my stupid problems. No one wants to hear crap like this. Medications are not working. I can't feel anything on them except maybe numbness which I don't know if that's really a feeling. I know they make me calmer, which is what everyone wants to see. Numb. Lifeless. No passion. As long as I don't bother them. I don't know why I'm doing this. I am only wasting you're time.

your time. I can't even use proper grammar.

Answer 1

always remember that
" when the going gets tough, the tough gets going"
believe me that's the way of life the more it gets worse the better it would be for u later just hang on there & see

another thing why don't u get closer to God?
he will help u if u really asked
r u relligios ? wich relligion r u ?
did u know that among all relligions muslim people r the least that would suicide? forget about the terrorist those are not real muslims
check out this site i hope it has some answers for u & please do not kill ur self

Answer 2

Your reaction to your medication does not sound right. Give this Dr. a chance, Or get a second opinion. Make sure that your parents & Dr. are fully aware of how you feel, like you said, "I can't feel anything on them except maybe numbness which I don't know if that's really a feeling. I know they make me calmer, which is what everyone wants to see. Numb. Lifeless. No passion.." They can't help if they don't know. And don't give up, they need your help to understand how the medications aren't working

Depression, as you know, is one end of the Bipolar. It is a neurochemical problem. Meds are supposed to help.

People who have never been able to remember 1 happy thought in the midst of depression have no clue what it is like. It seems as if any happy memory you try to find has been deleted from your brain, you believe you had some but they just won't download. Somehow things that usually make you happy don't work. But if you keep some of those things handy, they can help.

Example: keep a picture of someone or something that made you happy, where it is easy to find. Like where you will see it when you leave your room. With it write a reason why that picture should make you happy, say it in a way that will stir up happy memories when you need them.

Now that you have one picture get a few more. One to keep with you at all times, and maybe a screensaver on your cell phone and on your computer. Don't be afraid to ask for help with this, when you can't find the picture your looking for, it can make you so frustrated, heck, anyone could get depressed. If you are too depressed to think up a happy memory to go with the picture right now, that's OK because your bipolar, there will be a time when you are happy and you can write it then.

Now write yourself an uplifting letter, maybe some jokes too, it will be your first aid kit against depression. Make 2 copies, Fold it so it will fit. Keep one in your purse and the other in your cloths drawer, where you will see it every day, next to or under something you put on every morning. This way you will always remember where it is at home. Write on the outside of the home one the location of the other copy in your purse (in what corner) (and the location in your computer, if you created it there). Got more pictures to cheer you up? Add them to the letters (no need to duplicate). AND keep one where you might find something to harm yourself with, as a final wall to stop you.

You are NOT a disappointment. You are a success at almost everything you do. If your successes were matched up with a baseball players batting average, they would have to put you in the Hall of Fame. No one can reach every goal. Set your goals at a reachable height. Remember, you have special gifts that let you reach goals easier than other people and visa versa. Don't keep up with the Joneses, or the Tiffanys, or whoever. Reachable goals and encouragement lead to successful lives, ask anyone in the Young Millionaires Club.

You are NOT a burden, you ARE A BLESSING! (No, you don't know me.) I can tell, just from the flawless way you write and the way you used "Check Spelling". You know how overwhelming Bipolar is, it just wears you out. Well, it can cause the people that care about you to be a little tired too. Try not to take it personally when they seem a bit exasperated, frustrated and just plain tired. Bipolar is kind of like a puppy, you love the dog, but their behavior can make you tired. Not much the puppy can do about it. And everyone loves puppies! Same goes for kittens.

They say, "Why can't you be normal?" Well that's because they expect the doctors to find the right Meds right away, but every one is different and these medications don't always react the same with everyone, so it can take some time to get the right meds and the right dose.
Bipolar Mood Management tips: http://www.webmd.com/content/article/102/106800.htm

Answer 3

Congrads for letting it out. We all bother our loved ones. If they didn't love you, you wouldn't be able to bother them. I am not bipolar nor am I familiar with it, but you must find a group that understands what you are going through and can help you understand your own feelings.

There are about 5 billion people in the world and at least half of them have felt like you do right now at sometime. Start with some internet chat. If you want friends, be a friend. Turn the tables around. Instead of looking for someone to understand you, look for someone who thinks that the world doesn't understand them and tell them that they are not alone. You will be amazed at the freedom that that will inspire in you, regardless of what may be going on chemically in your head.

By the way, most medications are a scam. They will never solve your problem. Find the inner strength .......somewhere. Start believing in yourself even though it seems nobody else does.

Answer 4

You are not a disappointment. You were born. You are a creature of humanity, you deserve to be here as much as anyone else who is living and breathing today.
You need to go see a psychiatrist. A lot of answers were given to you that said for you not to take drugs. If you had a headache, would you take an aspirin? Then, if you have a chemical imbalance in your brain, what is wrong with taking a drug to help you balance things in your brain that cause depression and mental disorders in the first place.
I know where you are at. You have no self worth, honey, you hate yourself, and are convinced that life would be better if you were not here, right?
If you are not being treated, then you NEED to start seeing a psychiatrist and a licensed psychiatric nurse, or a therapist. Suicide is never the answer. Push this thought away in your head. Tell yourself, even if you cannot believe it, that you can overcome this hurdle in your life. You CAN get better. You deserve to be happy and to feel normal. Which you are honey, even if others say you are not.
Now, I see you do take meds. You need a change, then, my dear. When things get this tough for you, you MUST go back and see your doctor. That is what they are there for. Not just for regular routine visits to get more refills, they are there to help you and possible improvise your meds if they are not working.
I have OCD, Borderline Personality Disorder and depression. I tried suicide, twice, within two months. It didn't get me anywhere. And, I hurt a lot of friends and family. In fact, I was supposed to be in my friend's wedding after I got out of the hospital for the third time. She had decided to make someone else her maid of honor, and I was asked not to be in the wedding. I don't blame her at all. I let her down.
You have the power to make the decisions you have to make to get help. How old are you honey?
Please IM me, I am here if you need to talk.

Rachel

Answer 5

For Christ sake stop being so hard on yourself!!!! NOW! You were born and you deserve to live. Think of how many really awful people are walking around out there, you deserve to be loved and respected! I wish I could share so much with you, I have been where you are many times. I bet you are actually a great person, because that is the way it goes. The aholes walk around like they are God's gift while good people think they are not good. I have a feeling about you, you are sweet and wonderful and finding compassion in this world is very difficult. Don't give up on yourself, life does suck allot, but then there are some good things too.
I read The Bell Jar too, you are very special! The world needs your compassion and sensitivity, without people like you this would be a desolate place.

Answer 6

Stop thinking about being a burden, or you will make yourself an even bigger burden. Look at the good thinkgs in your life and completely take your mind off of the bad. I know my mom used to say that they should no thave had me as I was growing up, so I know a little bit about how you feel. Unwanted. But just go out and try to find friends that can understand you, and just keep trying and never give up, find your passion, and just make the best with what you have. Go to church, god wants you even when nobody else does. Dont just waste your life, there are a million people out there that would much rather have your living conditions rather than theirs. So make the best of what youv'e got.

Answer 7

Lets Christ into your life. He has the power of you to heal you. And i am not some preacher. This is a 15 year old who knew a lot of people including herself who had problems mental or physical. You need to pray. Ask God for a healing power. Ask him what you can do to feel better. Also get involved. The less time you spend sitting around, the less time you spend dwelling on the things that don't matter. And do not ever feel sorry for yourself. Little kids are dieing everyday of things like cancer. Be glad that God gave you a healthy life to use. There is always somebody in a worse position then you are. If you want, you can talk to me. I promise I'll listen and help. [e-mail] is my email.

Answer 8

In a stressful world, everyone's patience can wear thin and can't always be as caring and understanding as they want or wish to be. Dealing with family members is worse because they are with you all the time. So it's expected, although undesired, to have outbursts like that.

I think it's important that you not give up so soon. Remember: the longer you live the more chances for you to commit suicide; it's never too late. So let's give life a good try before calling it quits.

Misinterprete things? I am not a native English speaker. When I got to the U.S., misinterpreting things people say was a daily thing with me. So I guess it takes time to get used to it. I know that the bipolar condition makes it difficult, but with time, I think you can learn to get better. As far as hallucinating goes, see if there's a way for you to figure out when it happens. Again, it takes time.

Not everyone's gonna want to hear your crap. Bipolar or not. Just as you don't want to hear crap from everybody. We get crap all the time from everybody that we tune out. But you know what? I'd put up with crap that I care about. 'Cause that's when it stops being crap and starts being something I care about. And that's the trick. The trick is to find people that care about the same things you do and don't worry about the others that don't.

There are websites for support of bipolar and depression sufferers (see links below). Chat rooms, penpals, etc. are available to you. So perhaps there you can get connected to others that you feel you may have more in common with. Everyone's lonely in this world until we find others that we can connect with. It's just how it is.

Depending on the medicine, some may only treat symptoms and not the cause of the problem. And you DO need to be calmed down or you may do something wild or stupid to hurt yourself or others. So use the medicine for what it's designed for. But don't expect some magic pill to get rid of the bipolar condition. It's something you'll need to learn to live with, just as about 99% of us out there having to learn to live with own own problems.

Why are you doing this? You're doing this 'cause somewhere inside you is a part that's trying to get help instead of giving up. Do that part of you a favor and help it. Even though part of you may want to end it all, some part of you still want to stand up and fight for you.

That part of you needs your help. It needs a fighting chance. You need a fighting chance. Don't give up on it. Don't let it down. Not yet.

Answer 9

This isn't crap. You're not a burden to your family. If they get irritated at times - allow them to be irritated. Thet have a right to an emotion like this.
It 's not fair to ask a question "Why can't you be normal." Because it either pre-supposes that you're highly ubnormal (which you're not) or sound like hhm, stupid. Ask a man "Why can't you be normal, like any woman" how stupid is that. You're just different, and cannot be exactly like them.

One man said - dedicate yourself to a servise. Yeah. As simple as that. You can be very, very useful and many people will love you. You have no idea how many people or animals are suffering out there and waiting for someone (you ?) to help them.

Answer 10

Concentrate on facts. Facts are reality and knowing reality makes people feel good.

You are 31 (32?).
You first tried to commit suicide at age 12.
Since you've spent 20yrs trying to commit suicide and haven't actually done it, you can take a deep breath and say this, "I am never going to kill myself".

Say it now, say it out loud - "I am never going to kill myself".

You know that you might feel like you want to kill yourself, you may feel hopeless and upset, but you will always be able to say that you've beaten suicide. Suicide tried to take you, and you won. Now, it's over.


With that power in hand - and, yes, power is important and can be a good thing - you will be ready to tackle more symptoms of your disorder. Take those simptoms apart one by one and tell them - yell at them - that they haven't defeated you.

You've won.
You're not dead.
You're still fighting.
Don't be a victim. Don't accept these feelings as being part of you.
They are not you. They are a poison within you but the real you has fought and won for 31 years and will fight and win for 31 more.

Fight the poison. Keep winning.