my wedding is on july 13. my brother's is on july7th. he will still be on his honeymoon during my wedding. his fiance and him said they will not put their vacation off to attend my wedding. should i feel bad? change the date? we already sent out save the date cards... i want him there. but he doesnt act like he cares to attend. his fiance said we're stealing thier thunder because we wont wait another year after them to get married...what should i do?
2006-08-08 13:52:53 · 20 answers · asked by kristy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Whose choice was it to place both weddings so close together? I think that if you truly want to have your brother there maybe you should reconsider your date. You dont have to wait for an entire year, but at least a month. Your wedding is almost a year away and if you send out changes to your invited guests, it wont make as much of an impact as if you did it the month prior to the wedding date.
Another thing that came to my mind. With him getting married 7 days before you, your family will be overwhelmed with everything. It is also asking a lot from your guests financially (seeing as though there may be many similiar guests attending both weddings.) There may be out of town guests who wont be able to afford an extra 7 days at a hotel to attend your wedding.
Whatever your decision is, know that no matter what it is your day. If you really want your brother to come, you may have to bend and accomodate. I say be happy and concrete with any decision you make.
2006-08-08 15:22:26 · answer #1 · answered by glorymomof3 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why would you even set your wedding date so close to his? You should know that most people go on their honeymoon right after their wedding. Your brother has done nothing wrong, this is your fault. You really should change the date if it's at all possible. If you've all ready booked the reception site and everything then it could be a problem, but you should try. And, yes, you should feel very bad. I don't understand why your date had to be so close to his. That just doesn't make sense, it's something you should have thought about before sending out save the date cards. And you did steal their thunder, you should have put at least a month in between weddings. Think about all of your family that have to travel for back to back weddings.
2006-08-09 09:31:30 · answer #2 · answered by SweetPea 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats a hard sitution.
If i was in your shoes, look at it like this if your wedding was first what would you do.
Personally, If i was your brother's fiance.. I would be upset too. As shallow as it sounds, a wedding is about you and the groom--more the bride then anyone else--and nobody should take away your one special day. but then again....
Since, the date cards already went out. It would be really hard to change everything. I know you want your brother there, who wouldn't, but if him and his fiance don't want to be there then maybe its best if they don't attend. Since, she said you we're already stealing their thunder its probably best not to take away their honeymoon.
I don't think you should feel bad because its your wedding that you have to think off. If the honeymoon hasn't been planned and payed for--they should attend. Alot of couple wait and have a big honeymoon later.
2006-08-09 07:52:08 · answer #3 · answered by Christina 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who had wedding date first if brother why could u not have waited a month or 2 after theirs? Personally I really do not see what thunder u are stealing from them as they had their big day / it should have been the biggest day of their life whether u get married following week or not .I would not expect them 2 cancel their honeymoon though , that i would think is wrong.Your new sister _in_law has right to be upset but u all knew the dates before hand.To bad as it seems to me you all are going to find hard feelings among yourself not a nice way to start a new life / family together.
2006-08-08 21:46:32 · answer #4 · answered by snowball 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it was a big mistake to schedule your wedding so close to your brother's. It's a lot to ask of your family members and friends who would attend both weddings to give up two weekends in a row. It also sucks for people who would have to travel in. Now instead of having one trip this year and one trip next year, they will have to take an entire week off work or choose which one to attend.
You can change the save the date cards - your wedding is 11 months away. You would simply send out new ones saying that the date of the wedding has changed. It's not that big of a deal. I'm guessing that no one has bought their tickets yet or prepaid for a hotel room this far out. You can even *make* save the date postcards on your computer, so this won't be that much of an extra expense or burden. And if it saves heartache for your family and your guests, it will be worth it.
I agree with the fiancee that it was a inconsiderate thing to do and your brother obviously agrees and that's why he is shunning you. I would be furious. To ask them to put off their wedded bliss is asking a lot, really. If I were you, and I hadn't put down any deposits or made any unchangeable plans, I would change the date of my wedding.
Good luck to you in whatever you decide. : )
2006-08-09 14:20:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I find peoples answers funny. They say it's your day and you shouldn't change any plans. Well what about your brothers day? I'm sure they probably paid money for the honeymoon and they will have to pay more to reschedule their vacation. You can't ask them to change their plans. If you've only sent out save the date cards, you can make changes. If you've started to book places and will lose money than keep the dates.
I think a question that needs to be asked is, why the weddings so close together? And did your brother have his date first?
2006-08-09 21:43:17 · answer #6 · answered by Gracie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to wait another year to get married after them, but it would have been considerate of you to not plan your wedding so close to his, if he was engaged first. If you were my sister, I'd be pissed. I hope you don't have a lot of out of town guests, or a lot of them will only come to one wedding and not the other; otherwise, its just too much travelling to do in such a short period of time.
Anyway, that's off topic. Your brother and sister deserve a honeymoon just as much as you deserve a wedding. But having him be gone is just a consequence you're going to have to live with for picking a day so close to his wedding.
You don't have to feel bad, but if it's going to bring you down on your big day and make you enjoy the day less, then change the date. You only sent save the dates, not invites, so it isn't too late. But I only recommend doing this if his absence will make a really big difference to you.
All of this, of course, assumes that he had his plans in place before you did.
2006-08-08 23:08:57 · answer #7 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if he doesn't care to be there why should you feel guilty if he isn't? It's YOUR WEDDING DAY!!! They had their thunder the week before so how does he figure you are stealing his? If he doesn't care to cut one day off his honeymoon to be there for you,his sister,who has been around longe than his fiance than DO NOT WOORY ABOUT IT!!!! He is being immature as far as being there for his sister on HER DAY !!! Since this is now August 8, 2006 I guess everything is said and done. So I wish you and your Husband a long and prosperous life together and may you be blessed with many children and grandchildren as yo want and may success follow all your dreams and wishes
2006-08-08 21:08:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to wait another year, but a month or two would be decent (and practical). What the hell are you doing having your wedding a week after your brother's??
Obviously he's not going to postpone his honeymoon for you, and you shouldn't expect him to. It would be wrong if he did. I think you have issues with trying to get attention from him and the rest of your family... deal with that jealousy before you get married, ok?
2006-08-09 03:53:21 · answer #9 · answered by smurfette 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry but I don't feel bad for you ..... why in the world would you get married the weekend following your brother??????? what is wrong with waiting a month? I wouldn't come either and it is wrong of you to want him to stop his honeymoon for you . . if anyone is being inconsiderate here it is you . . . you are not getting married until July ..... there are MANY months til then that gives you plenty of time to change your date ... you don't have a wait a whole year after them to get married but you really need to change it . . . be the bigger person here
2006-08-08 21:55:37 · answer #10 · answered by wfgrg15001 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋