Ok, my mother is disabled, and I'm bacically homeless. I stay with her, because she cannot live alone. I'm not really allowed to stay with her because of housing authority rules. I'm going to be 27 this month, and I have nothing to show for it. Is it wrong for me to want to leave mom and go on with my own life??
2006-08-08 13:25:50 · 25 answers · asked by mka1369 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
no, you should not feel burdened because of it
2006-08-08 13:31:29 · answer #1 · answered by Erin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my Grandmother took care of her mother in law while she was dying slowly of Alzheimer's disease and even though she was widowed and had a full time job as well she was still able to continue a regular yet busy life. I think that it is time for you to fly the coop but i don't think that it is absolutely necessary to sever your ties with your mother. Disabled or not she is still your mom and deserves to have her family, even if its only you , around. You never know she might be hanging on just for you. I used to work in a nursing home working as a nurses aide and i saw many patients who would get regular visitors go downhill when the visiting stopped. I guess they were looking forward to the visits and when they stopped it left them with nothing to keep on going. So i would still help your mom and maybe look for another disabled person who needs some assistance maybe can work into a job. I don't know the right decision for your situation but i do know that there are ways around some things. Maybe you could get a hold of someone high in the housing authority food chain and rattle some cages. I'm sure if it is necessary for your mom to have care that they should be willing to work with you . Anyway good luck i hope everything works out.
2006-08-08 14:47:41 · answer #2 · answered by e_deckwa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, there is nothing wrong with that. If she gets disability from the government, there are programs out there that will send a caregiver to her home to take care of her, and her disability should pay for that. You need to have a life too, and I'm sure your mother wants the same for you. Check into these programs- your local DFS office should be able to point you in the right direction. Good luck!
2006-08-08 13:33:50 · answer #3 · answered by ?princesshousewife? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What the housing authority doesn't know won't hurt them if your not there all the time they can't prove anything. You can still lead a productive life by going to school and getting a job and still be able to take care of your mother some. You just have to make it a priority you choose to do.Say you go to school for 4-8hrs and you go to work 4-8hrs your gone all but a little while so they really can't prove anything. What do you think is best for everyone?
2006-08-08 13:40:04 · answer #4 · answered by summera76 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am the mother of five kids, and I have multple sclerosis. I get a little sick at the idea that any of them will have to give up their lives to care for me. Go get your own life, the average mom would want you to do this. If your mom is at the point where she can no longer take care of herself, start looking into programs to have her cared for. I really hope you will still have her be part of your life, from the way you described the situation it seems like you wouldn't have it any other way. You need to be able to live too, your mother has lost her ability to have a life, you go live for the both of you.
2006-08-08 13:33:32 · answer #5 · answered by n_of49p 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, there is only so much you can do for your mom. You need to start worrying about your own life, your future and what you are going to do with it. It may sound harsh, but as I said, there is only so much you can do for another person before you start realizing your own needs aren't being met. I would say, move out on your own, and of course still check up on your mom, but at 27 it is definitely time.
2006-08-08 13:30:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Dash_34. Approaching 30, you have to stand on your own two feet, but helping out your mom should be priority.
I mean, what if you were disabled, wouldn't you want your mom to care for you? It would be a bit selfish of you to just walk away from your mom, but everyone makes there own decision.
Good luck
2006-08-08 13:31:30 · answer #7 · answered by PJ S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. It is high time for you to become independent. Good luck to you on that. As for your mother, contact the department of (on?) aging in your area. They will give you a wealth of options and support for dealing with care issues she may have including how to find and evaluate assisted living and nursing homes since you say she cannot live alone.
2006-08-08 13:32:06 · answer #8 · answered by Chris 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is wrong to walk out on her. She would not leave you. Why do you not seek a residence where you both may live and you can get a good job. While it may be a natural desire to get out and start your life, but you have to take care of her. She is the only one you have.
2006-08-08 13:34:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, heavens no! It's sooo totally normal to want to have your own life. Just because you don't live with your mom, does not mean that you can't help her out still. You can still drop by daily to check on her. You're not abandoning her. I am sure she expects you to move on and have your own life eventually.
2006-08-08 13:31:21 · answer #10 · answered by Amanda K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is a tough one.... i myself would want to stay and help out my mother... after all, i have nothing to show for my self after 27 years so what is an extra few months more.... she is the only mom you actually have.... have a heart, and let mom know you do care and love her.... you will have time for yourself later.... besides that you don't have to be with your mom around the clock do you?
2006-08-08 13:33:08 · answer #11 · answered by rock n roll all night.. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋