My girlfriend is Chinese. I am meeting her mom for the 1st time next week. How do I greet her and show proper respect? Should I bring her a gift? What kind? We will be going to dinner. Any special considerations there? (Of course I will pay and it will be her mom's choice of restaurant). Thanks!
2006-08-08 12:39:17 · 13 answers · asked by r s 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Whatever you do you won't be able to be Chinese. The proper forms of respect and etiquette in this situation would fill a book. Have your girlfriend teach you a polite greeting in Chinese and practice it until it is perfect. Also you should bow when you meet her (your girlfriend again). Yes, you should take her a gift. Gift-giving is very important in Asia. It doesn't have to be anything extravagant but it should be elegantly wrapped and well presented. You must, as you say, pay and be seen to pay. Insist on this if necessary. Remember that the mother is venerated in Chinese tradition so you would do well to bear that in mind in your dealings with her. Your girlfriend is lucky to have someone so considerate.
2006-08-08 12:53:16 · answer #1 · answered by Bethany 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most Americans make the mistake of thinking to learn some things in Chinese to meet Chinese people. Just be yourself and really really respect her mother. It is a Chinese custom to respect the 'elderly' so definitely don't mess that up. You don't have to do anything weird or anything like bow or bring noodles (like the above response) or anything dumb like that. Just be there ON TIME and politely shake her hand or get to know her and things like that. Be sure to 'act' nice. If you bring a gift, make it meaningful or useful. The most important thing to remember is to relax, be yourself, and present yourself respectfully and nicely. A good impression is everything. Definitely dress nicely, too and hold open doors, pull out chairs, etc..if you're that type of person. Also, when paying for the bill, her mom might and just might offer to pay and just don't let her do that.
Hope it goes well-good luck!
2006-08-09 13:06:24 · answer #2 · answered by ♪Grillon♫ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No noodle for god's sake. A gift (just a token one out of courtesy like flower) is good but not essential though a gift is highly desirable if you visit her home.
Ask your girlfriend to teach you a Chinese phrase or two for greeting and saying goodbye.
Speical consideration?
#1: Never show initimate body contact with your girlfriend in front of her mother. Be prepared that she is a traditional Chinese mom and is not ready to see outrageous things you two happily do to each other when she's not around. Even a kiss should just be on her cheek (your girlfriend, not her mom), no tongue, no teeth, just lips no sound.
#2: Be prepared for questions posed by your girlfriend's mom. Try to see this as an interview for closer ties between two families, I mean marriage. Traditional Chinese parents do not appreciate any relationship not leading to marriage. Even if you are not ready for marriage, try to convince yourself that you are not ruling this out in future. And her mom may want to make sure you can bring and 'afford' happiness to her daughter, she may just ask how much you earn, what your parents do, where they live, how many siblings you have, whether you like babies.....blah blah blah. Even if you know Mahjong, don't tell her, you will and should never been her match.
#3: If she asked, tell her your girlfriend has yet to meet your own parents because you are eager to meet her first. In-laws rivalry. But then you should tell her that you are about to bring her daughter to meet your own parents, to show your determination to forge closer ties between two families.
#4 : If asked, tell her that you do chores at home, you don't smoke (much), you don't drink (much), you don't hang out at bars (at all), even if these mean a bit of economy of the truth, these could well be your aim, you just let her have a preview. And you love Chinese culture very much (your girl friend is part of the Chinese culture)
#5 : Ask your girlfriend what her parents, brothers and sisters do for a living so that you won't unintentionally pass on any bad comments or opinions about their trades. Ask your girlfriend what (people, places, trades, food, ideas) her mom hates so that you won't bring these up during conversation.
#6: Have a word with your girlfriend so that if there's any tough questions that you don't know how to answer, you will give her a gesture or look and your girlfriend will come to your rescue.
#7: Drive her home / hotel if it is nearby or escort her to see her get on her car / cab after dinner.
2006-08-09 17:38:07 · answer #3 · answered by Dinner 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That's an interesting question!
2016-08-14 03:18:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey, dont worry! her mom might not be able to communicate with you, but usually they are really nice people. just dress clean cut, be friendly, and that's all the proper respect is. it's basically the same as the traditional american way. be nice and curtious.
Good Luck!
2006-08-08 12:49:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really don't need to bring her anything, but a nice bouquet of flowers would be nice. Giant eagle has them at a decent price. And their very nice. Even one flower is sufficent. Don't over do it, and don't bring noodles. Good luck.
2006-08-08 12:55:03 · answer #6 · answered by tinamaries43 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bring some red envelopes filled with $$$$.
The bigger the bills, the bigger the respect. LOL
2006-08-08 12:47:13 · answer #7 · answered by MrSushiRoll 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1
2017-03-03 15:59:39 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Offer her a present that is meaningful for you and your girl. At any time show her that you love your girl, so she can be confident that you will take care of her.
2006-08-08 13:02:18 · answer #9 · answered by mfacio 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must bring a gift!!!
Trust me, I know. I'm Asian
2006-08-08 12:55:43 · answer #10 · answered by Tony N 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋