2006-08-08 12:30:06 · 16 answers · asked by Medical and Business Information 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I am not a man but I will give my advice because I have a little boy that was shaken by his father when he was six months old. This resulted in a coma later leaving him with serious brain damage, CP, and eats or drinks nothing by mouth. Only through a tube. He cannot walk, sit, crawl, or do anything other than roll around to get to his toys or other things. I have to say I have had two ex-husbands and they both fell in love with him. The marriages ended due to other circumstances than my sons disability. I will give my opinion in hopes that it will help. For one, it can be difficult to raise a child w/special needs but where there are challenges, there are greater rewards. I believe God never gives more than we can handle. Secondly, I also am a firm believer that if you get serious and truly love the woman then any child she bears is therefore a part of her and you should love the child as your own. Thirdly, when you agree to make a committment it is for better and for worse. The better is you have been blessed to be in any childs life especially those who are amongst the bravest and toughest kids there are. The worse is through the hard times the child goes through and the pain the family goes through during these times. I now have a great man who has taken the role of daddy to all three of my children due to the fact that their two biological dads physically and sexually abused them, resulting in me leaving their a**es. He doesn't see it as a burden but a blessing. The person in question may have a different point of view and it may be too much for them but I have never come across a man that has looked the other way due to my son. It is ultimately your decision but I came across this ? and felt compelled to help since I know firsthand what it is like. Can I ask a ? back? What would you expect of a woman if you were the one who had a child w/ special needs? I think honesty, support, and most of all love for both you and your child. Be true and honest with yourself and her. Maybe try telling her that you will date her, get to know her child, and that you have a fear you may not be able to handle it so if you can't then at least you were true and you didn't pass up something that may or may not be the best thing that could have happened in your life. Good luck and I hope everything I have said did not offend you and maybe helped at least a little. I don't think that another man can make a decision like that for you. They all will have different answers and hopefully there will be men that answer you that have the experience with the problem you are faced with. Either way you should not be judged because of the decision you make for it is your life and your heart. Thank you for at least not turning the other way automatically just because a child and mother are face with a challenge that they couldn't help. I respect you for that. I wish you well.
2006-08-08 13:08:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sure. The special needs child is likely to be a drawback, but then again it depends. Maybe the child is better than the woman. Maybe the woman is so great, the child does not matter.
One would have to take the whole picture into consideration.
2006-08-08 12:34:12 · answer #2 · answered by kako 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm obviously not a guy but if i was, i'd have to say that i would marry if i loved her a lot, think she's the "one" and want to spend the rest of my life with her. don't let the fact of her having a child with special needs get in the way of you marrying her. you'll learn to love that child eventually and as if he/she was your own.
2006-08-08 12:35:19 · answer #3 · answered by sugar n' spice 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seriously, what are you going to do with these answers? What if the answer is no? Are you gonna ditch the kid?
The right guy will love you and your kid, regardless of "needs".
2006-08-08 12:35:34 · answer #4 · answered by Marshall A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes.
2006-08-08 12:32:54 · answer #5 · answered by null_the_living_darkness 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Date, maybe. Depends on how she looks, acts ...etc.
The second question is irrelevent because the first answers it either way.
2006-08-08 12:34:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My ex has an autistic child, my advice....live there a while and see if you can handle it. It's not for everyone.
2006-08-08 12:33:11 · answer #7 · answered by brian k 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Again,
What does the child have to do with it?
2006-08-08 12:32:36 · answer #8 · answered by dadgonewild 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have to ask, then do her a favor and don't get involved
2006-08-08 12:32:51 · answer #9 · answered by Annie R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes i would - you wouldn"t want to go out with someone that wouldn"t
2006-08-08 12:33:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋