My 13 year old daughter is haveing sex with older men 17-20 years old, How do i make her stop????????????

Question

i dont know any names just the places she has visited and the places that i have picked her up from . my nieces are the same age and have also told thier mom (my sister) some crazy stuff about drinking. Her father just passed away a month ago today and she dont like to stay home with me .. we were divorced and she lived and lives with me .. please help me in finding answers ... i have put her on the depo shot just so that i am not going be having a baby having babies .. thank you

Answer 1

You could try staying with her for a month solid...It'll be hard for her to connect with anyone if you're standing next to her. And yes, I highly recommend that you take time off from work, and follow her to each and every one of her classes - even (especially) to the bathroom.

You could also try simply telling her that she has no choice but to stay home with you...I don't know if you realize it or not, but you are the boss, not her.

If you don't like these ideas, you could follow her while she's not looking, and surprise her and the guy in the act. That aught to let her know you're paying attention.

Additionally, it is still possible to purchase chastity belts...I actually know someone who recently received one as a gift!

Regardless of which method you choose (if any of the above apply), you need to IMMEDIATELY take back control of the situation. You need to be concerned for her safety, not just regarding pregnancy. Any guy who would sleep with her at only age 13 is entirely unconcerned for her welfare...He might have a disease...Or he might have weird sexual fantasies, like strangling his partner. Not to mention the fact that she's potentially exposed to drugs, along with the alcohol. Whatever you do, you CAN'T let this continue for even another day. She's begging for your help, and you need to reply ASAP!

Answer 2

(1) Those shots are dangerous for your daughter's health. Please switch her to pills as soon as possible. I know people who have died from those shots!!! They lead to obesity, depression, cancer, and heart problems.

(2) How does she get out of the house to go see these men and do all that she does? That's your fault, lady. But the damage has been done.

(3) Talk to her. Enlist the help of her cousins, or anyone else who she trusts. Don't yell. Don't threaten to kick her out or all that. Ask her why she's doing this. Have you been paying enough attention to your daughter? Get her to read some of the responses to your query. Explain to her that these guys are USING HER and they don't care if they give her an STD, AIDS, HIV, or knock her up. And if she is reading this now and is rolling her eyes, she needs to bring those eyes back down b/c I was just like her at that age, so YES I DO KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

(4) I hate to say it, mom, but chances are baby girl is doing a whole lot more than alcohol and that whatever else she's doing, she needs to stop. I can tell that you do love your daughter. (Maybe don't want her to make the same mistakes you made?)

(5) Before her father's death, how were her grades? Did she have any non-sex, non-drug, non-alcohol interests or talents? You need to start spending more time together and this is a perfect excuse. Maybe you could take a trip together to somewhere you both have been wanting to go (not Amsterdam, mom) or just hang out (watching tv does not count and don't worry, girl, it doesn't have to be in PUBLIC where people might see you with your MOM that I bet you tell everyone that you HATE).

(6) GO TO THERAPY. PLEASE. YOUR DAUGHTER'S FUTURE AS A PRODUCTIVE MEMBER OF SOCIETY VS HER FUTURE AS A CRACK WHORE IS WORTH THE EXTRA BUCKS.

I hope I helped. My mother never did. Good luck.

Answer 3

Well lady, it's time to become a mother. Or a drill instructor. Either way sitting by and doing virutally nothing (yeah the depo shot isn't much of a way to say "stop") isn't going to help you.

Take some lessons, seek professional advise, read a parenting book. Do something! You think what she's doing at 13 now is bad, just wait until she can drive (and taking away the keys won't solve anything either).

Otherwise, I'm sure I'll see you on Jerry Springer or Mauri Povich very soon.

Answer 4

Well, this is difficult.. but... everything happens for a reason, and you should know (very deep in you) why is this happening...
You are the grown up and she is still a kid. Use common sense and try to make her understand common sense. Try not to sound like a dictator, but try and talk with her. Communication solves everything...
Suggest her you have had 13 before, and you have lived a lot of life and make her realize how would she think when she's your age... Try to make her think as she were you and maybe she'll understand...
First of all fgather every reason you can find for her not to do that and discuss it with her, Make her understand how complicated life gets with a baby at her age, and make her understand how possible is to get pregnant.
Make her imagine how would her teen-age suddenly stop, and figure out what she really wants from life...
I'm sure that it wont solve averything but may help a bit.
And! please look for proffesional advising... don't play hero and deal with this only by Urself.
Good luck!

Answer 5

You can get the boys and men (18 and above) she is having sex with for Statutary Rape in most states, which can result in imprisonment for the offender. Let her know that she hasn't reached the age of consent as yet, and so what she is doing is illegal. And has dire consequences for the men she is having sex with. As her parent, and the adult, you have the right to 'blow the whistle' so to speak. If you can't talk with her about this, then that is a sign that she is not mature enough or emotionally stable enough to handle what she is doing. At age 13, she is more than likely not experienced enough to know how to have "safe sex" (prevention of STDs, pregnancy...) If she still doesn't stop, I would do some tough love and start reporting what's going on and putting a tight grip on her and her activities. Because the men who are having sex with her, are more than likely just using her for only that purpose.

Answer 6

Before you go to pick up your daughter at one of the men's houses you should call the police and have one meet you there. A police man will know how to talk to her so that she will tell the truth. Then have the man arrested for sex with a minor. After that you should sit down with your daughter and ask her why she is having sex, especially with older men. Does she want to feel like an adult? Let her know that she has the rest of her life to be an adult. She only has a few years to be a young girl. If you talking to her doesn't help then get her serious help like counceling. Good luck. :)

Answer 7

You need to ground her. She needs clear, firm ground rules. She's testing you, and you sound like you are failing. II'm sure it's hard, but you are going to have to put your foot down. If you find out any of the names, then you prosecute them for statutory rape. You might also have the cops pick her up once and keep her in jail for an hour or two until you come get her. That might scare her.

Even being on the Depo shot, I'd still get her one of those babies they use in sociology classes. They are almost like a real baby and make her take care of that. I'd also get her tested for diseases. Just cause she might not get pregnant doesn't mean her indiscriminate sex life won't kill her.

Answer 8

Oh God, what a nightmare......sounds like you have very little control over where she goes....you can start by making rules and stop condoning her behavior by "picking her up" from "places."
If you cannot control a 13 year-old....you can always get the authorities involved. Have her labeled PINS (person in need of supervision) and be willing to see her off to Juvenile Hall or any other rehab for troubled youth. If she doesn't clean up her act it will just get worse...stealing, skipping school, drugs......She's deeply in need of help even if she doesn't think so.

Answer 9

A cork to plug her up will do the trick. Depo is like a ride all day for free ticket, at least in her eyes. Does she know about STDs?
She should really see a councilor, she may have mental problems that were triggered by her father's passing. Kids act out for a reason, you have to find out what it is.

Answer 10

Um...I think she needs serious help and so do you with your relationship with her. I'm not slamming either of you, but she's acting out on a whole lot, sounds like she might be looking for a father figure or someone to "love" her.

Having sex is only the tip of the iceberg. Have you tried getting some psychological help for her? If you can't afford it, try going through United Way and getting referrals.