Is there a link between child molestation and sex addiction in adult life?

Question

I'm 26 male and insecure b/c I haven't had a girlfriend, kissed a girl, or had sex with a girl. I get very nervous around attractive girls. I was a virgin until 23 when I met a guy online just to lose my virginity. I was w/ a guy b/c I didn't expect to be w/ a girl anytime soon. I've been w/ several guys since then, all met online. I fantasize and am attracted to girls, but cannot get with girls. Girls flirt w/ me, but I dont have the confidence to act. The only people that seem to want me are the guys I meet online. Sometime when I was 6-8 yrs old, my grandfather groped my crotch once. My grandmother saw and told me to never tell my parents, which I still haven't b/c my grandfather passed and it's a small issue. When I was 6 or 7, I used to hang out with mostly girls and play with dolls b/c I wanted to be close to girl friends. Only after a camp counselor chided me did I start to hang out with guys only and become closed off to females, as I am now.

I view porn almost to excess and enjoy the thought of sexualizing most of the relationships I have in life, especially w/ strangers I meet.

Answer 1

You need help. You need a good therapist. Porn and on-line sex meetings are not in your best interest. Sex between mutually consenting adults is not just about getting off....it's about relationships which is where you are having trouble. You can work this out and it will lead you to a happier life...take the next step and get qualified help.

Answer 2

Definitely a connection. I volunteer with troubled teens. Those that are abused go on to abuse b/c that's all they know. Until someone like me steps in & shows them a different, better way to live. You are still carrying around your grandparents' dirty little secret and until you stand up & tell everyone what they did to you, you will never be whole. You will continue to punish yourself for their crime. You can tell your family, write a letter to your grandfather, g/m or both. It never needs to be sent, just keep it until you are ready to let the past go.
As for sexual orientation, you may be gay/bi or just confused b/c of the abuse. You need therapy. It's a shame you waited this long, torturing yourself for the crimes of others.
I hope you find the help you need and Please be careful about casual sex w/internet friends.

Answer 3

i believe in your case there's definitely a link. for one, you're probably bisexual, since you're obviously attracted to both guys and girls. a lot of times, adults who have been molested as a child, have some sort of sexual dysfunction, whether it be sexual addiction or a fear of a sexual relationship with anyone else but themselves. i think maybe some counseling would really help you to sort out your feelings and get to the bottom of the reasons and causes behind your feelings. meanwhile, meeting guys online for sex is indeed very dangerous (serial killers, std, etc.), and i would not recommend you continue to do so. just seek help immediately

Answer 4

Well, do you watch the porn because you can't create a steady relationship with girls or because you can't create a steady relationship with girls, do you watch the porn?

I will admit that if you comes off lacking confidence, no girl will be with you.

have you thought about some of that safe harbor dating, where you go to a controlled environment to meet others in your situation?

Answer 5

counselling seems a good idea - i advised you to contact sex addiction websites, and contact a helpline
have you report to the police about being child molested? You need to do this... but for how to deal with the addiction - I have no idea but like to hear others views.

Answer 6

Yes, there is a connection. I've been through a lot of **** like that and I do believe there is a connection. If you want details or anything write me back sweetie.

Answer 7

OK, I'm stumped! Don't really agree with what you're doing, but best of luck with that. You should get couseling, it can't hurt. We could all use a little.

Answer 8

are u homosexual or bisexual?

or is it just lack of luck wid women?

yes there is a strong connection between what happened in ur childhood and ur adult sex life.

i ahve a frnd(female) who was abused sexually by her dad since she was 5 till she was 15.

turns out tht his dad did the same with his daughter(my frnds aunt ) and her dad used to watch it . he was deeply impacted and continued with his child.

u need counselling , heavy counselling

u must identify ur problem before it becomes too severe.
lack of self esteem can cause many serious probs..including hurting other ppl..

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Bisexual orientation includes all the territory between the two extremes of homosexuality and heterosexuality. Bisexual people are not necessarily attracted equally to both genders, and tend to prefer one or the other. Moreover, it is possible for a bisexual person to be attracted to all genders but only one sex, or to all sexes but only one gender (note the definition of gender as social category, distinct from biological sex). Another view of bisexuality is that homosexuality and heterosexuality are two monosexual orientations, whereas bisexuality encompasses them both. However, some argue that bisexuality is a distinct sexual orientation on a par with heterosexuality or homosexuality.[1]

Individuals attracted to both males and females, like people of any other orientation, may live a variety of sexual lifestyles. These include: lifelong monogamy, serial monogamy, polyamory, polyfidelity, casual sexual activity with individual partners, casual group sex, and celibacy. For those with more than one sexual partner, these may or may not all be of the same gender.

Some people who might be classified by others as bisexual on the basis of their sexual behavior self-identify as gay, lesbian, or straight -- for example, a bisexual woman who considers herself a lesbian may do so on the basis that a lesbian might be defined as any woman who is attracted to women (even one who is also attracted to men), or a woman who is primarily attracted to other women. Likewise some men may identify as heterosexual because the only activities they engage in with other men do not involve anal sex (or more commonly, do not involve being the bottom in anal sex).[citation needed] This kind of ambiguity is problematic because some people maintain that exclusivity is part of the definitions for monosexual orientations, others feel that only your current situation is what matters (if one is in a heterosexual marriage, they are straight), and still other groups prefer to say that bisexuality is non-existent and a bisexual person's heterosexual feelings are merely the result of internalized homophobia.[citation needed] Other bisexuals consider themselves distinct from homosexuals but part of the larger LGBT or queer community. Some people who engage in bisexual behavior may be supportive of lesbian and gay people, but still self-identify as straight, and still others consider any labels irrelevant to their situations.

wiki

Answer 9

Sounds like maybe you need to talk to a counselor about your feelings.

Answer 10

yes i think so.