Suggestions on how to stop a 3 1/2 yr old throwing temper tantrums every morning?

Question

heres the deal..im a nanny who watches a 3 1/2yr old throws a temper tantrum every morning before coming to me. i watch a total of 4 kids..2 seperate families and she cries more than the other children the oldest 4yrs ..youngest 6mo. Shes a Daddy's girl..and personally i think shes spoiled. She whines when her popsicle breaks into small pieces, or if someone is sitting on her side of the couch..ANYTHING to whine about and she starts up..I sit her on the bottom step and let her cry it out..it may take up to 20 min..but she ends up stopping...however with mom and dad it lasts close to an hour and you could tell in their faces they're about ready to scream. She loves princesses and loves dressing up in dresses..i have suggested taking that away when she's out of order..however she comes over wearing a dress and im like 'wtf" she's a drama queen ever since she was born..firstborn of course and she's getting ready for another sis/bro next month...any suggestions?

Answer 1

I know this may sound a bit harsh, but my 3 year old son throws these tantrums and I put him in his room away from everything and shut the door. He thinks when I'm around he can get away with everything, but since I've started letting him throw them by hisself he has really calmed down. Maybe people think that's a bit much to go put a child in their room and let them throw their tantrum, but hey, It's helped me. He will come out of the room and won't even be crying or screaming anymore. He is just ready to play then. Good luck!

Answer 2

It sounds like you're already doing the right thing, you're giving her a time out, which is what most experts recommend. Since you're a nanny and no doubt you're going to encounter a rash of undesirable behaviors in all the kids you deal with, I think you should invest in the Nanny 911 book. I've flipped through it and it has a lot of REALLY good suggestions for all sorts of issues. It's hard to discipline a child who's parents aren't being consistent with what you're trying to do. Is there a way that you can sit her parents down and tell them that you need to be all on the same page because what's going on now isn't working? I'd also tell them that her behavior's likely to get a heck of a lot worse once that new baby comes along if you don't nip this in the bud now.

Answer 3

Are the parents asking for suggestions?

The biggest thing in any behavior change is CONSISTENCY! When the parents first start trying to curb this behavior, the negative behavior will actually happen MORE often. They have to be completely consistent in the way they respond to her. Every time they "slip up" and "give in" strengthens the little girls resolve - she'll try that much harder to get her way next time. After a few days, it WILL start to get better, but only if everyone is on board. It can still work if one parent is consistent and the other is not. However, it will take a lot longer, and the child will continue to misbehave for the non-enforcing parent. "We're consistent most of the time" doesn't cut it!

Good luck.

Answer 4

I would say that the key is to get the parents on the same page as you are. If they seem frustrated at the behavior, then they are probably willing to try to change it. Ignoring the negative behavior or time outs are good, and I like the idea of having her sit and draw or paint if it encourages her to express what she wants in a calm manner. Once she gets into the habit of drawing, encourage her to express verbally what she wants or needs. At 3 and a half, she might not have the verbal abilities to express herself well (though i am NOT excusing the behavior), so drawing and then explaining what she drew could be a very positive experience. However, if she just draws whatever she wants and has a great time doing it, then it is just rewarding the negative behavior. It really depends on the child. I would definitely agree, though, that any long term changes are going to be next to impossible without the parents being on board.

Answer 5

I was a nanny for a 4 year-old with the same problem. I told her that when she whined she had to take a nap. She had a naughty chair and if she yelled or screamed she had to sit until she calmed down. She would whine to go outside and play and I told her that if she was going to whine she didn't get to do what she wanted.

Answer 6

She is used to getting all sorts of attention from her tantrums. if you ignore her at least to the point that she does not get attention, not to the point that she was not watched, then she will stop. You need to have other clothes to change her into when she misbehaves, anything as far from a cute dress as possible. Maybe mis-matched sweats. It is a sad fact that some parents never learn to discipline

Answer 7

confront the mother and father . have a sit down and just talk about the childs behavior and how you guys can work as a team to solve this problem. I suggest letting her have a time out when she begins to get fussy. As a child , my parents would make me paint/draw if I ever seemed to begin to throw a temper tantrum

Answer 8

If the mom was being raptured, she would be gone instantly, literally "in the blink of an eye." She wouldn't have the opportunity to deny Jesus. The mom would have done everything possible to make sure that her child knew about Jesus, about what it means to be a true Christian believer. She would have taken her child to Sunday School, to Sunday church services. She would have had her child enrolled in a church youth group and/or summer camp, where the child would have learned more about being a believer, and she would have been offered opportunities to accept Jesus as her Lord and Savior. The child may have had opportunities to go to concerts/performances featuring Christian artists. If possible, the mom would have enrolled her child in a private Christian school. The mom would have been praying for her child at least once every day, probably more often. Jesus said that following Him can result in there being a sword separating husband from wife, parent from child. The mom would have known that and would have known that ultimately her child would have been responsible for making her own choice about whether or not to be a Christian believer. Once the mom is raptured, she will be instantly in the presence of Jesus, and all else will fade away as she looks at her Savior face to face, eye to eye. If you are this child, then I pray that Jesus will make Himself known to you so that you have no doubt about who He is and how you can make your choice for Him.

Answer 9

Well unfortunately if the parents don't follow through you're pretty much up a creek. It sounds like she screams at home and gets her way. Sitting on the steps to cry it out is excellent, but I bet that doesn't happen at home.

Answer 10

ok, you sound like me when I say "wtf" Lmao! but the problem really lies with the parents, they obviously arent too sick of her having fits, because they are not changing it!!! So i would find a child to replace her, and tell the parents that you have made suggestions to correcting her behavior, and that it is hindering you from giving more attention to the other kids, and that they need to find someone else. Im sure they will get the picture. besides there are always more ppl with more money elsewhere hehehe :))