Im a guy, and shes a girl. Were best friends. She always says what shes lookin for in a boyfriend, but shes naming all the qualities that i have. Why doesnt she consider just dating me, instead of looking for someone like me?
2006-08-08 11:19:38 · 11 answers · asked by lilbiggyadam 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
There's a few possible reasons for this, I hate to say it but she might be pandering to your male ego in order to keep you hanging around in the wings - if this is the case, it's cruel and unfair to you and you might be able to test it by detaching yourself from her and becoming far less available to her than you have been.
You could be her 'man-candy' - the guy she loves having around because of his qualities and because it makes other guys take interest - there's nothing that gets a guy interested than a girl who'se with a guy - even if either or both of them are plain looking, for some reason it raises curiosity and makes both sexes want to try to find out what that 'X' quality is.
Think about whether she's got all the qualities you're looking for in a girl. Make sure you're not into her just because she's there - that's one mistake alot of people make - they turn to the ones closest to them in terms of friends, colleagues, siblings' friends and siblings' colleague. It's human nature - we travel in packs and our subconscious tells us that we're already with this person anyway, we already know them well so why not just make it a natural transition into something romantic.
Now the dilemma with this way of finding a relationship is that what do you do when the relationship ends? Do you go back to being friends? Do you ask other friends to take sides? Do your friends take sides even if you don't want them to? Does it get to the point where one of you needs to leave the group? Also, if it's not a mutual decision to end the relationship (which is often the case), what happens when one of you finds a new relationship and brings them into the friendship group?
You can set rules with them when the relationship becomes more than friendly, but beware, these rules aren't always followed.
My best advice (and you don't have to take it at all :D ) is to simply steer clear of allowing this to become a relationship and start looking elsewhere for one - if the friendship is valuable you may not want to put it at risk for a relationship that may not last.
And I hate to be cruel and don't mean to be cruel, but consider the fact that if she wanted a relationship with you by now she would have instigated one. She clearly knows how you feel (unless you're behaving like a grade-school boy who punches the girls he likes in the arm and runs away laughing with his mates - in which case perhaps you're not up to having a relationship like this lol), so you've left the door wide open. If she was hinting, you'd have picked up on it - girls are great at being really obvious when they need to be or want to be.
Consider your worth as a person - she certainly tells you often enough (from the sounds of it) that you're her perfect guy. So why not take your perfect guy self and offer it to a more worthwhile female?
Sorry for the long and winding answer...
Best of luck.
Meg
2006-08-08 11:35:54 · answer #1 · answered by ausbabe29_megan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the main reason is she's scared. when u r friends its friends forever but when that line is crossed into a relationship and any thing goes wrong she loses that friend that's what most bestfriends are scared of so they never try to cross that line even though secretly they want be with each other
2006-08-08 18:36:25 · answer #2 · answered by gissyali 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you are best friends maybe she doesn't want to spoil your relationship as friends if the dating doesn't work out. And then again, maybe she likes you just as a friend.
2006-08-08 18:29:43 · answer #3 · answered by h_korneti 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont know im a girl and im willin to date my best friend thats a dude but i just dont wanna ruin our friendship so im scared to tell him i like him maybe thats what shes worried bout!!! good luck dude!
2006-08-08 18:28:05 · answer #4 · answered by dolly w 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes they do just ask that person out read some tips on how to do it
2006-08-08 18:24:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just because one girl won't it doesn't mean that none of them will. maybe she doesn't want to take a chance at ruining your friendship. She obviously cares about you
2006-08-08 18:24:36 · answer #6 · answered by pieninja 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she may feel if the relationship doesnt work your friendship will change, ever seen when harry met sally. hint, watch it with her, you may get some points
2006-08-08 18:24:12 · answer #7 · answered by sonny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fact:
Girls like to be asked out.
Fact:
She will not ask you out.
If you like her, then you need to tell her how you feel and ask her out. Try to pick up on any signs that she likes you (ex. flirting, hugging, etc.).
2006-08-08 18:31:07 · answer #8 · answered by Joe S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she doesnt love you
a good friendship is more important than relationships with boys who come and go.
2006-08-08 18:24:30 · answer #9 · answered by Mademoiselle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe she just doesn't like you, as in physical attraction.
2006-08-08 18:23:54 · answer #10 · answered by vincenzi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋