I'm 17 and have always been proud of being a virgin but found life boring, but at college my lifestyle changed, I got new friends, went to parties and started enjoying life I also was asked out by a really great guy called Kyle, we have bin going out for 7 months now and he repected that I wasn't familar with oral or actual sex over the last few months things have really heated up and we are doing things that make me go crazy and I am feeling more and more ready for sex I know I love Klye and he doesn't want to do anything till I'm ready but I find myself wanting it, but also I want my first time to be intimate and special but fear my sex drive and lust for Kyle is going to ruin this, Wat can I do?
2006-08-08 11:09:52 · 23 answers · asked by Angel R 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you want it to be really special and intimate, wait for that moment when you know he's your #1 (besides God), and you're able to take responsibility for your decision to put him in that place permanently, and make a commitment to do that - in front of other people, so you're accountable.
If you do that, you'll spare yourself a lot of temptation and trouble, because you'll be focused on doing what you have to to make it good and lasting. And if he doesn't follow through on his commitment, at least you'll have a clear conscience.
Until you're ready, keep it platonic. No point in taking steps down that road until you're sure that's where you want to go, because there isn't any turning back once you arrive. It's really special to have someone that you love and desire, but don't 'have to have'. So you win either way.
2006-08-08 11:24:31 · answer #1 · answered by songkaila 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey, you should be concern about your studies as sex would ruin it. the moment you do it, you would be hook like on drugs and then the next thing you know is the fact that your grades will suffer.
be strong and tell Klye that you want it to keep it longer and the more you do that while taking time to understand each other better, the longer the marriage will last
2006-08-08 14:02:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand having fears like these. Just accept that your first time will probably be uncomfortable. Have your first time be with a sweet and patient man who will stay the night with you and call you the next day, at least. It sounds like Kyle is a great guy to do this with. Discuss it with him first, if you can, too.
Just remember, no matter how goofy the first time is, it gets better with only a little bit of practice.
Of course, use protection.
2006-08-08 11:21:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It probably won't ruin it but don't imagine what it will be like and have expectations but more then likely it will not work out the way that you imagine it to be... Sex can be a very akward situation and especially for virgins.. The movies and TV make it look so romantic and passionate.... Ha! Once you are with someone for a very long time and love eachother - then that is when it is romantic and passionate.
2006-08-08 11:16:37 · answer #4 · answered by shannon 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i totally understand.. my first real bf was in college too. and i felt the same way, and sometimes i wanted to have sex even tho i always wanted to stay a virgin til marriage, in the back of my mind. what happened was we were going to..and i got scared. it happened a few times..and i would always chicken out. and my bf understood.... i felt confused, and bad about myself... but then u know what happened? months after, we started fighting, and then i broke up with him later! u don't know HOW GLAD i was that i chickend out of having sex w/ him.. i KNOW i would've regretted it for the rest of my life if i gave my virginity to this guy. he's not a complete jerk, in fact i still talk to him once in a blue moon... but he wasn't "the One". i've had a few boyfriends since him, but since then i Decided to stay a virgin til i'm married. and with my current boyfriend, who i love and adore (and who loves and adores me! :D), we both feel the same way, and want to wait until we get married. i don't look down on people who decide to have sex before marriage, it's all ur own choice! :)
i hope u wait until u are completely sure, and listen to ur conscience.. u are right that ur lust and sex drive may trick u into wanting sex in the spur of the moment..but it's really important to back that up with love, care, security, and trust.... i'm glad to hear he is not pressuring you! go w/ ur gut, and never feel bad for what u've done, or will do. it's all life experience.. and if u make mistakes, u can start over.. just try to do what u think is best for you, for ur heart, and for ur future. :)
2006-08-08 11:18:59 · answer #5 · answered by sasmallworld 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are truly a virgin, how will your sex drive and lust going to ruin your sexual relationship? First of all, understand what sex drive means. It means your urge to have sex. Is it low or high? And what have both of you been doing sexually besides having real sex that makes you go crazy and feeling more and more ready for sex? You don't have to worry about your sex drive ruining your first time. You only have to worry to have protection and how to make your first sexual intercourse a memorable one. Good luck!
2006-08-10 20:21:47 · answer #6 · answered by Lawrence 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sex is really not that big of a deal.
you wanna have sex and you really like him go for it he sounds like a good guy to have even waited this long
if you really want to wait then hold back but i think you should go for it
hey and by the way my first long relationship and first guy i had sex with was named kyle and i still talk to him to this day hes a great guy
2006-08-08 11:16:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advice is to learn how to touch each other to orgasm and enjoy that solely for a while. If a bit worried about inexperience read a couple of sex manuals (mostly it is learning about your clitoris and G-spot and his frenelum, testes and peritoneum how best to SWEETLY touch and stimulate them. Such activity shows caring while being (the only real) safe sex; and it satisfies, orgasmically, more intensly than intercourse.
2006-08-08 11:27:32 · answer #8 · answered by Hank 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its up to you . If you give in and you get pregnant what then? Knowing life the way it is you will soon start to have sex with him. The best thing you can if you sex is to have safe sex have him wear protection and you on birth control. and not have multiple partners.
2006-08-08 11:17:28 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should....wait college at 17
k thats odd,
anyway I think that the first time is something you will remember and after 7 months and you still have to think about it then no.
When it happens you wont have to think about it. No fear will be involved what so ever. you will do it with no regrets
2006-08-08 11:17:19 · answer #10 · answered by Devil Women 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋