Blonde Jokes?

Question

Anyone have any great blonde jokes? I want to hear them, but please, no dirty ones!

Ya, I'm blonde, but I'm not the kind that gets offended by stupid jokes.

Answer 1

how do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree?
*wave at her*

Answer 2

Ok even though I love blondes and find them sweet and loving and even intelligent! How can you tell if a blonde has been on the computer? White out on the screen!

Answer 3

An Irishman, a Mexican, and a Blond Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned Beef and Cabbage! If I get Corned Beef and Cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building."

The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."

The blond opened his lunch and said, Bologna again! If I get a Bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too."

The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw Corned Beef And Cabbage, and jumped to his death. The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a Burrito, and jumped, too. The blond guy opened his lunch, saw the Bologna, and jumped to his death as well.

At the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of Corned Beef and Cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!"

The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him Tacos or Enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated Burritos so much."

Everyone turned and stared at the blond's wife. The blond's wife said, "Don't look at me. He makes his own lunch."
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Answer 4

1day 2 blondes wanted 2 go 2 a trip 2 disney on the road they saw a sign that said disneyworld left so they went bak home sad

Answer 5

Once there was a blonde she is a friend on my 360 and she is a princess-her demure -her grace her words----and i felt i adored her and still have feelings for her with tears in my eyes-if u dont think that is funny i will tickle your feet or everwhere till u do-and then rub your back or your feet too princess-only if you say ---and i will answer-as you wish princess

Answer 6

What did the blonde say when the docter said that she was pregant?? Is it mine??

Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to
find her house ransacked and burglarized. She
telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.
The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the
radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby, was the
first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached
the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran
out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the
cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps.
Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I
come home to find all my possessions stolen. I
call the police for help, and what do they do?
They send me a BLIND policeman."

Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA
Freshman, sat in her US government class. The
professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs.
Wade was about. Bambi pondered the question then
finally said, "That was the decision George
Washington had to make before he crossed the
Delaware"

A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of
state capitals. She proudly says, "Go ahead, ask
me, I know all of them." A friend says, "OK,
what's the capital of Wisconsin ?" The blonde
replies, "Oh, that's easy: W."


A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on
her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to
his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the
door she finds him in the arms of a redhead.
Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her
purse to take out the gun, and as she does so,
she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and
puts it to her head.
The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it!!!"
The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!"

Two blondes are walking down the street. One
notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down
to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror
and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar." The
second blonde says, "Here, let me see!" So the
first blonde hands her the compact. The second
one looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy,
it's me!"

A married couple were asleep when the phone rang
at 2 in the morning.
The very blonde wife picked up the
phone, listened a moment and said "How should I
know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up.
The husband said, "Who was that?" The wife answered,
"I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the
coast is clear."

An Irishman, a Mexican, and a Blond Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned Beef and Cabbage! If I get Corned Beef and Cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building."

The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."

The blond opened his lunch and said, Bologna again! If I get a Bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too."

The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw Corned Beef And Cabbage, and jumped to his death. The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a Burrito, and jumped, too. The blond guy opened his lunch, saw the Bologna, and jumped to his death as well.

At the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of Corned Beef and Cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!"

The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him Tacos or Enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated Burritos so much."

Everyone turned and stared at the blond's wife. The blond's wife said, "Don't look at me. He makes his own lunch."

A blonde, brunette and a redhead had a breaststroke swimming race across the English Channel. The brunette came in first, the redhead came in second and the blonde never finished. When the blonde got in the lifeboat she said, ''I don't want to be a tattletale or anything, but I say the other two used their arms.

A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience.

She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle.

In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider.

Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup and she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when to her great fortune...

...the Wal-Mart manager runs out and unplugs the horse

Three women escaped from prison. One was a redhead, one a brunette, and one a blonde. They ran for miles until they came upon an old barn where they decided to hide in the hayloft and rest. When they climbed up, they found three large gunnysacks and decided to climb into them for camouflage.

About an hour later the sheriff and his deputy came into the barn. The sheriff told his deputy to go up and check out the hayloft. When he got up there the sheriff asked him what he saw and the deputy yelled back, "Just three gunnysacks."

The sheriff told him to find out what was in them, so the deputy kicked the first sack, which had the redhead in it. She went, "Bow-wow," so the deputy told the sheriff there was a dog in it.

Then he kicked the sack with the brunette in it. She went, "Meow," so the deputy told the sheriff there was a cat in it.

Then he kicked the one with the blonde in it, and there was no sound at all. So he kicked it again, and finally the blonde said, "Potatoes."

Answer 7

An old one with the answer a few lines further down.

Do you know why the blonde was fired from the M&M factory?







She didn't know what to do with the W's.

Answer 8

Why did the Blonde tiptoe by the medicine cabinet

Answer 9

how do you drown a blond?
put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool
http://www.the-jokes.com/listjokes.php?cat=blon&cla=tcla&sort=fecha&id=Search
here are a bunch more blond jokes

Answer 10

three construction workers sat down to have some lunch after a long morning. The brunette construction worker opened up his lunch sack and said, "Yuck, egg salad! I hate egg salad! If I have this one more time, I swear I'll kill my self."
The red head opened up his lunch sack and saw mashed potatoes. "What?!" he asked. "I hate mashed potatoes! If my girlfriend packs this for me again I'll kill my self!"
The blond opened up his lunch and saw mac and cheese. "Gross, I hate mac&cheese! If I get this for lunch one more time, I'll kill my self."
The next day the three construction workers opened up their lunches. The brunette saw egg salad and jumped off the building and he died. The red head recieved mashed potatoes and hit himself mulitple times with a hammer. The blond saw his mac&cheese and stabbed himslef with the jackhammer.
At the brunette's funerals the weepiing widow cried, "Oh! If only I knew he hated egg salad I would've never packed it for him..."
The grieving girlfriend of the red head cried, "Why didn't he just tell me he didn't like mashed potatoes? I would've never packed it for him!"
The wife of the blonde cried aloud, "Why?! If only he told me he didn't like mac& cheese I would've never let him pack his own lunch!"