He can't make even the simplest of decisions even though he is highly intelligent.
2006-08-08 10:01:45 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It's difficult to say what might be causing this problem for your son. You really haven't given us a lot of information to go on.
First of all, be sure that you're setting a good example for him of a responsible, considerate adult who makes good decisions.
Second, when you know he has a decision coming up, you can help him to make the decision for himself. This doesn't mean that you tell him what decision you think he should make, but you can talk through the process with him and help him figure it out on his own.
Third, perhaps a psychologist or other mental-health professional can help your son to progress through whatever's preventing him from making decisions, or refer you to someone who can.
2006-08-08 10:13:31 · answer #1 · answered by drshorty 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was highly intelligent but made what seemed like "dumb" choices to people around me. however being highly inteligent I knew exactly how dumb my decisions were but still wanted to do them. Everyone has to learn to make their own decisions, all you can be as a mom is encouraging and don't push him away with pressure.
My mom installed the "smart" way to think in me, so all the things that she sees wrong with my decisions, I see just as clearly, but being that she's older and more set in her ways (ignorant) she doesn't see the advantages of my way like I do.
Your son will eventually (like me) figure out that he doesn't want to keep making these decisions that get him no where and just waste his time.
Also he's getting close to being 18 and by that time he's really gonna have an opinion of his own. Better be able to talk to him about his decisions without criticizing them to him as bad as you want to. that's the one thing we don't want to hear as sons.
I'm 27 and my mom still insists on letting me know WHAT THE BEST THING TO DO, she gets mad at me when I disagree with her and it's a shame because I open up to my dad and never my mom no more since she's too stubborn. Good luck.
2006-08-08 17:59:40 · answer #2 · answered by Joshua J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being unable to make decisions can be related to a number of different problems. It is possible that he lacks self-confidence and therefore is unable to trust his own ability to make the right decision. It is also possible that is is linked to some kind of anxiety disorder such as depression. Or, it could simply be that he is going through that difficult transition from childhood to adulthood and is finding it difficult to take responsibility for those things that were previously taken care of by his parents. If you have serious concerns perhaps you should speak to his teachers (is he the same at school too) and maybe your GP who will be able to cover the medical and some of the psychological possibilities.
2006-08-08 17:06:24 · answer #3 · answered by seaside_girl_03 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My younger 21 year old brother is like this...he still lives at home and my mother is totally in control of him. He's never had a job or a girlfriend or lived on his own. My advice to you is to step back and let your son make his own decisions (as long as they aren't detrimental to anyone's health). Don't help him make choices. If he makes a lot of bad decisions he will eventually see that he needs to focus and do better for himself. If he realizes it is time for him to grow up, he will. I am sure he doesn't want to be like my brother.
2006-08-08 17:07:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anna 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is HIGHLY INTELLIGENT, then he most likely lacks day to day skills of making decisions. Be his safety net, but don't make his decisions for him. If he makes a wrong one, help him make it right, but don't fix it for him. He will eventually get the hang of it.
You might talk to a counselor at work or school for other tips.
2006-08-08 17:08:02 · answer #5 · answered by eeaglenest 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stop making decisions for him and if he chooses not to think for himself then he is grounded. your son sounds like my step-daughter and I am so sick of people telling me that she will grow out of it. it has been going on since she was 9 and she still will do nothing on her own. I would suggest counciling but I can testify that is all a crock of bull. been there done that and still doing it and it gets worse every day. Good luck
2006-08-08 17:13:32 · answer #6 · answered by mama bear 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait till he turns 18 and is out on his own. You'll be amazed at how well his decision making will improve.
2006-08-08 17:06:22 · answer #7 · answered by wild1handy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with CarCraze. Good advice. Use discretion though ofcourse. He can't make 'every' decision at 15.
2006-08-08 17:06:48 · answer #8 · answered by Olivia B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This will probably sound harsh but it helps. You need to send him to a military academy. I went to an Air Force academy in Florida and it helped me. Its just a suggestion and it is a very big step if you do decide to, But know this I was 15 when I went. Good luck.
2006-08-08 17:06:39 · answer #9 · answered by Jordan H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
at age 15 you let him make his own decision. whether they be a good or bad decision. thats the only way he will grow learn and mature. he has to make mistakes in life to learn from them
2006-08-08 17:08:18 · answer #10 · answered by conroyger 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋