How do I stop caring about what others think? My feelings get hurt?

Question

Even if I ask a question here and someone says something mean to me, my feelings get hurt.

I think its because my mom made me feel like everything I did was wrong when I was growing up.

I am 23 now and it still bothers me when people tell me I am too young to do things or if they just say something rude I take it to heart.

People say its immature of me to care about others, but like I said my mom made me doubt myself my whole life.

How do I learn to not care about what anyone else thinks?

Answer 1

I grew up in a similar environment and it is possible to get past this low self-image and loss of self-esteem.

Everyone wants to be accepted so that's a normal feeling, but when you let it run your life and find yourself trying to please everyone, then all it does is drain you emotionally.

If someone says something rude, just try to remember that they're the one with the problem it's not you. If they're judging you then realize that they're in the wrong, they having no way of knowing who you really are and your capabilites.

I think what you really need to do is build up yourself in a positive way because you've become very drained by always trying to please and worrying what people think.

First of all spend time with people who make you feel good about yourself, people who treat you well. Avoid people who treat you badly.

Don't try to be someone else, but be proud of who you are.

Identify and accept your strengths and weaknesses--everyone has them, and nobody's perfect.

Set realistic goals and then take pride in your achievements.

Take a class about something you enjoy such as pottery, dance, art or whatever you like and in this way you'll be improving skills and meeting other like-minded people.

Pay attention to your own needs and wants. Listen to what your body, your mind, and your heart are telling you. For instance, if your body is telling you that you have been sitting down too long, stand up and stretch. If your heart is longing to spend more time with a special friend, do it. If your mind is telling you to clean up your basement, listen to your favorite music, or stop thinking bad thoughts about yourself, take those thoughts seriously.

Building self-esteem takes a lot of practice, but you can do it and you're definitely worth it. Take care and good luck to you!

Answer 2

First of all, i think u r percieving things in awrong way here.
y do u feel ppl always try to offend u?
maybe its not an offence to begin with.
y do u need a approval from other ppl about urself?
maybe ur mom did not have parents who guided her properly and this is her way of trying to tie the loose ends; sort of like giving u care n attention tht she never had; or maybe she is doing her best to be a good mother.

whatever it is, u r too old to blame it on anyone else.
i am 23 too and i have am alcohlic father who harrassed us wen v were young. But im over it now and am quite confident,

if u feel ur mother is the root cause of ur problem the i really think u shud solve things wid her first.
talk to her and calmly explain what u feel
maybe if u sort things wid her , u will understand how she feels and what other ppl actually mean.

its all in the way u percieve things.

The best advice i can give is goto a therapist or family counselling that should help.

remember, only if u sort ur probs wid her, u will really know y she did what she did

Answer 3

This is tough, my girlfriend is like this every so often, very sensitive and caring. You have to realize that there is nothing wrong with caring about what other think of you, you have to learn how to react to it.
First, you really have to deal with how your mother made you feel it really sounds like that is the root of the problem but you can't use that as an excuse. Visualization might help, think what you would say to your mom, visualize telling her off then throw it away, don't dwell.
Next, you have to come to the realization that people are just people everyone is just trying to work through these short lives we have. They don't always say the smartest things and everyone has something wrong with them. Think of that the next time someone is mean to you then write down in a journal what they said, how it made you feel, and why you shouldn't be hurt by it.
Hope this helped.

Answer 4

Just be positive about yourself. It's a great start. If you're having trouble with how you feel about yourself, you may want to start some kind of sport, or past time that's a good confidence builder. I used to be the same as you, and went and became a combat soldier. That worked !!!!!!! Running off, and blowing stuff up, may not work for you, but you get my drift. Good luck !!!!!!

Answer 5

We are the same age, and I used to be the same way. I was a professional ballet dancer from the time I was 16, and, while I loved it, my mother eventually ruined it for me by her constant nagging that I was too fat, that I needed to lose more weight...It went on and on with her. I finally quit dancing because of her, ran away and got married. I didn't talk to her for a really long time. My husband is very supportive of me; he helped me see I am perfect the way I am. He taught me to be an ***, just like him (LOL), and I've been stronger and better ever since.

Answer 6

You have to realize that sometimes they are idiots and don't know what they're talking about. Other than that they are just offering constructive criticism, and that's nothing to be offended over. And if someone really doesn't like you, who cares? You don't have to be liked by everybody. It only matters what you think, really. Don't let other people get you down when you have better things to do than worry about what they said anyway!

Answer 7

Well, its not easy. I myself sometimes can care what others think about me, but than their are times when I realise "okay, what the heck, why does it matter what they think?!" Just think about it this way, if you care about what others think, your just hurting your self MORE than you would if you didnt care. Seriously. But, I cant say its easy to put those thoughts away. I sugest talking to a therapist, they would probably give ya some good tips on the subject!!!

Answer 8

Don't continue to give your power away. Bear in mind, those statements made by your mother created some pretty severe emotional responses. They have been stored in the deep recesses of the mind. Those are referred to as triggers..Until they are removed, you will continue to have these reactions.

What others think of you is not as important as what you think of yourself. When you have that imbedded in your mind, you will be able to see how blind and petty, others really are.

Answer 9

Self image is built from within, get a book of Affirmations, read it every day. Eventually postive thinking starts to soak in and your attitude changes.
You need to make what you think the most important thing to you and what others think less important.

Answer 10

look I'm 20 and all I can tell u is that where they tell u they do to u your time well come, believe me there is a time and place for every thing. there a moment for every human being when in there life changes either good or bad is your choice to choose the way to react back.
so don't pay attention to what they tell pay attention to what they do to u. u make the difference in ur life.