I been with my girl for a little bit more than 3 yrs, I love her deeply, i really do and i dont want to lose her. But reasently she's been asking all this questions about marriage and it makes me sweat! we talked about the subject about two weeks ago and I told her I love her but im not ready to get marry (im 27 she's 23) and now she changed shes been distant and has more work lately and less time for us, i dont want to lose her but i also dont want to get marry any time soon. she tells me that life its happening now that tomorrow it might not be here and that she wants to experience it with me, and that if i dont plann to be with her that we should go separate ways. I really love her but im jst not ready for such a huge thing i really dont know what to do Help please.
2006-08-08 08:59:32 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
You do know what to do! You don't get married!!! You're not ready - it is a huge step and if there are any doubts, you should wait until they fade away. Don't get married just to appease her - to avoid losing her, cuz you'll both end up regretting it.
Do what is best for YOU!! Think of yourself - take her out of the picture and do what you want to do. Yes, you might lose her, but then again you might not - its a risk you have to be willing to take in order to do what is right for you.
2006-08-08 09:49:07 · answer #1 · answered by thersa33 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's a shame that so many young women are in such a hurry to get married! There is nothing wrong in waiting until you are ready for such a big step. No one should be pushed into marriage. I would tell her that you love her, but you are not ready to get married right now. If she cannot respect that, she is not the one for you anyway. She may be more in love with the idea of getting married than she is with you. Like the one answer said, sometimes a break like this brings your true love to you. Good Luck.
2006-08-08 16:23:14 · answer #2 · answered by Debbie D 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well- it's a yes or no question isn't it. I was in the same boat and guess what I left the guy and it was the best thing for me... not even a year after braking up with him- I am engaged to a wonderful man that I love with all my heart. Some people are not in the same place at the same time. And why should she wait until your ready? She is ready now!? Decide what you want you can't have both!
If you really want to keep her- get her a ring... you can be engaged for two years!
2006-08-08 16:06:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you get married before you're ready, you'll end up resenting her for "making" you do it, which will probably lead to the relationship ending in divorce. And I don't even want to *THINK* about the amount of psychological trauma you could end up inflicting on any children y'all had.
Are y'all currently having sex? If so, she may currently feel like she's just being used and is in danger of being dumped the instant you think you have a chance with something else hotter and younger. Especially after three years with nothing but uncertainty coming from you.
Your only real course of action is to figure out what all is in your heart regarding your attitude toward marriage, and spill it to her, and take whatever comes of it. And if she gives you an ultimatum you're not comfortable with, be prepared to walk away! It will hurt, but so would staying in a relationship that's trying to go a direction you don't want to go.
2006-08-08 16:55:54 · answer #4 · answered by Katie S 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
do u want to marry her eventually? do u see a future w/ her? obviously she is getting frustrated because she sees a lack of commitment from u; she doesn't know where it's going. if u have qualms about Marriage, but not about ur relationship, perhaps u can get her a promise ring, or even an engagement ring but not set a date.... but i think u need to really think about what u want. if u don't want to marry this woman, let her go.... u can't be selfish and keep her w/ u but not give her peace of mind that u want to marry her.... and u can't continue ur relationship as is cuz she is getting frustrated. really talk to her, give her a time frame, why u don't want to get MArried, but u do love her. the question is, do u love her enough to commit to her? live ur life w/ her? work all problems out with her, together? don't keep her waiting too long, or she will be gone before ur done thinking....
2006-08-08 16:06:41 · answer #5 · answered by sasmallworld 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She's probably a little unsure of the relationship now. You need to tell her that you do want to get married one day, just not yet. My husband and I went through this around the 3 year mark, too. All I wanted to hear was that he did want to marry me one day so I knew I wasn't wasting my time. Women just need to be reassured. Good luck!
2006-08-08 16:36:08 · answer #6 · answered by SweetPea 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Definitely-if she really loves and cares about you, she'll respect how you feel. If she wants to spend her life with you-she'll have to wait for your feelings too. It's a 2 way street!!!
2006-08-08 16:05:16 · answer #7 · answered by Imthelittlesis 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cant keep her waiting that long its not fair for either one but if you are not sure what you want and you don't want to m.... you should let her go and stop the suffering from both sides.
2006-08-10 20:07:52 · answer #8 · answered by *bella* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Three years is plenty long enough to know if you want to marry her. She shouldn't be expected to devote more time to you without that commitment. If you won't commit, time to let her go.
2006-08-08 21:54:13 · answer #9 · answered by Lydia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Damn bro if the girl loves you like she says she does then she will wait for ya. Peace
Aldo
2006-08-08 16:04:44 · answer #10 · answered by {~Aldo~} 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋