We have dated for almost a year and broke up last week. I have given him an ultimatum (which I've done few times before & it worked). He has decided to think about it for a day and called back saying that we should go separate ways. He seems to be not ready for what I am at this point and likely need space. I think he is scared of anything serious, because he even said it to me - "if you wait, I may come back, after I mature more". He is a great person and has great potential for who he can be. He has dated tons of girls before, but it was really serious with me. He has introduced me to his parents & friends fast; everyone loved me. I just came back today from seeing him "last time" (clothes exchange). He asked me 4 times if I am leaving already..He had tears.. He kissed me in lips.. He said that he had and still have feelings..
I have wrote a list of how empty I feel and what I miss about him. He is sailing off for 2 weeks. I want to give it to his dad to pass it to HIM. Is it OK?
2006-08-08 07:48:23 · 13 answers · asked by Kim C 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I agree..the ultimatum doesn't work because all it tells him is that you're thinking about yourself and you're not trying to understand him. Now, with that said, if you feel you loved him enough and gave him his space and he's still "not sure" if he wants to be with you, then back off...there is nothing else you can do. There's a border which you can't cross and it's called pride.
2006-08-16 03:37:26 · answer #1 · answered by bluntbabe74 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-05-07 17:48:37 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on what the problem is and the ultimatum stuff. Why are you giving him ultimatums? Is he doing stuff you don't like like seeing other girls or doing drugs or whatever? I mean, maybe you are better off without him? I would give him the letter when he comes back, or mail it to his house. You need to look at what you really want in a relationship because if the ultimatum thing isn't working, there's a reason. Good luck with it.
2006-08-16 02:53:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ultimatums never work. If you wanted something and he is not willing to give it to you than you shouldn't go back out with him. But if you were wrong like if you gave him an ultimatum just to get your way and it wasn't a big deal e.g.(if you don't buy me something expensive then we're over) then I would apologize and ask him to forgive you. But if it something big like him not drinking or if he tries to force you to have sex, then I would let him go. You didn't really give much detail as to what the ultimatum was so I'm just giving you ideas.
2006-08-16 07:02:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Number 1 cut the ultimatum bullcrap out. They just don't work in the long run. Tell him you love him and want to be with him and if he feels the same there's no reason for you two not to be together. Just enjoy his company and do nice things for him but leave take the pressure our of the relationship or things will only get worse.
2006-08-08 08:01:43 · answer #5 · answered by Big Thinker 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
what is with this ultimatum stuff ???? Come on ! If you guys really like each other, then it works out of free will or choice, you don't force somebody, it never works out long term !...and not only that it makes the relationship bitter....I suggest give yourself time to reevaluate.
2006-08-16 05:47:45 · answer #6 · answered by SplashWire 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
take advantage of the time and distance so you could think objectively. when you're so in love it's hard to see other important matters you need to consider in continuing in a relationship. don't force the relationship. as the adage goes, if he is really yours, he'll come back to you hopefully as a mature individual.
2006-08-16 01:14:54 · answer #7 · answered by arwene 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you both need some space, sometime to yourselves and think bout the relationship and talk about it later
2006-08-16 07:24:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No! Do not give him a letter, do not call him, do not send him messages. If it is meant to be, he will come back. If you hound him, you will scare him away further. Give him a chance to miss you!
2006-08-16 06:57:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him some space,Absence will make him truly decide if you are the one,clinging will run him off for good!
2006-08-16 07:51:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋