My boyfriend and I have been together for over 8 months. We had a conversation about Marrage and children. He refuses to get married to any woman and refuses to have kids... I have always wanted to get married and have a family? i value family and children!! what should i do? continue to invest more time in the relationship?
2006-08-08 07:43:58 · 43 answers · asked by kjh 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
If you really think about it, you are already answering yourself. He has made it clear he doesn't ever want to get married or have children. You want just the opposite. Get out of this relationship before it goes any further and the hurt is much worse. Everyone deserves to be happy. You won't be happy if you stay with him and he won't be happy with you if you got pregnant. In fact, he might leave you. Get out of this and find someone with the same hopes and dreams as you. Life is too short to not be happy.
2006-08-13 16:51:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl...I dont know how old you are. Let me say this, if a man states his opinion about something that serious like marrage and children. and its only been 8 months. 1-You are moving way to fast. 2- You cant ever change a persons wants and values.3-Yes you are waisting you time if its that important to you right now. thats fast. 4- you ask something like that 2 years into a realationship at the least.
people change, with time
You should take more time to figure out the right kind of person you want to raise your kids. Does he have all the father figure qualities and husband qualities you are looking for in a man? Do you even know him well enough to know he wont cheat on you or leave your family for another family. Do you know if he will provide enough. communicate enough. girl..... really think about it.
Eight months is not long enough at all! Make a list of what you want for you and your children and make sure its the best! You deserve the BEST!!!
Good luck with finding that person or a person with those qualitiys....cuz its hard. That is why its so rare to find familys that are still together today. In this age its hard. Our world is falling apart. Its the disfunction family era..... and its only gonna get worse. Almost all men/women cheat in time, have communication issues, neglect of children/partner, put other things before family like....
money
sex
work
friends
gammble
drugs
alcohol
abuse
hate
k i am getting way to into this, but your 8 months is scary. You can damage your whole life and future if you make the wrong choice is people you pick.
2006-08-08 08:01:18 · answer #2 · answered by Devil Women 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really love him and he really loves you and you make each other happy then wait a little longer. Maybe he is scared of the thought of starting a family. Thats a big step. And it's expensive too. I was scared of marriage and having children but once I got to know my husband better and we got married we changed our minds. He was scared of all that too. Now we have a baby girl and she is so much fun. We have a great relationship too. You just need to wait until you are mature enough to start a family. Some people take longer. Dont be in a hurry. Enjoy your time together.
2006-08-08 08:31:42 · answer #3 · answered by cynthia_0516 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Would you invest your money in buying your most hated food?
Why invest your time in a relationship that doesn't include your most treasured values and hopes?
Eight months may seem like a long time. But, the point is, the more time you spend there the longer the length becomes.
Do you want to feel COMPELLED to stay just because of the length of time you've spent with someone?
This reminds me of the Cheaper By The Dozen film with Ashton. Watch the film... it's a gentle way of showing what's really important in life and may allow you to move on with ease. ♥
2006-08-08 07:52:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO WAY!!! Why would you want to get more involved in this man that will give you nothing in return... I value family and just couldn't imagine life without my children and grandson! There are plenty of men out here that do want to be in love get married and have kids so, why not go for what you have always wanted??!
2006-08-08 07:52:19 · answer #5 · answered by JACKIE M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't invest any more time in this relationship, he sounds like he was very clear and straight forward with you on this subject. Don't think you can do something stupid by "forgetting" to use birth control and "accidentally" get pregnant and that will change his mind...it won't. He'll leave you, and you'll be a single mother. Find yourself a man who will give you the commitment you need, and the family you crave. Best of luck to you!!!
2006-08-08 07:49:44 · answer #6 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If having kids and being married really are important to you, your best bet is to cut your losses now before you have any more time vested in this relationship. It's true that people may change their minds on this - after years of not wanting children myself, I am finding myself now open to the idea (just took meeting the right peson I guess) - but it's not likely he'll change his mind.
2006-08-08 07:49:17 · answer #7 · answered by Sunidaze 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, here is my opinion on that. I'm in a similar situation but if he doesn't want to marry you. Then I wouldn't invest any more time. You need to revisit that conversation but instead of asking him in general terms ask him straight up. If he sees you as being his wife. Then if he replies I rather not get married. Then there's the answer.
2006-08-08 07:51:53 · answer #8 · answered by sunny d 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on your age. If your time clock is running out, then you best find some one with the same goal as yours. If you're young, stick with the relationship but don't try to convert him to your way of thinking. Respect his personal interest as he should yours. 8 months isn't really a long time relationship. Give it time, he just may come around in his own due time.
2006-08-08 07:56:13 · answer #9 · answered by Vida 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depending on you age and how soon you wan't to get married and have kids--I would set a time line of about 1 1/2 - and let him know and then if he still doesnt want what you want i would leave him and go find someoneelse who does
2006-08-08 07:48:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋