Why would anyone *choose* to be gay?

Question

You know, my life is too easy, and despite my basic instinct to be attracted to the opposite sex, I think I'll perform homosexual acts because I want to be persecuted by the religious right.

People, I'm begging you to persuade me with well thought out, logical arguments to convince me that it's a choice. Any answer that does that is certainly the best answer.

Hey "........." or whatever your name is: I'm not gay, I'm providing an example of what a gay person's thought process would be were being gay a choice.

Answer 1

That is a good question. There are many theories on the matter. There's no hard evidence first of all that homosexuality is genetic, and indeed it would go against nature for such a gene to exist. It would be self-eliminating.

Why would someone choose homosexuality? For many people it can be something that they are doing to rebel against something. A rebellious teenager rarely thinks in terms of the consequences for their rebellion, only the rebellion itself matters. People are that way. Some are driven by the thrill of stirring people up. Some are driven by hate. Some are driven by the desire to be unique.

Another reason is traumatic past experiences. This doesn't necessarily mean that a person had to be abused sexually as a child to become gay, though I know for a fact that there are many out there that become gay through that very thing. Sometimes it is a frustration in trying to please a parent. Sometimes it is due to neglect of a parent. Sometimes it's due to perceived neglect of a parent. Sometimes it's due to physical abuse, or emotional or spiritual abuse. Sometimes it's due to premature sexual awakening of another sort. Homosexuality can spawn like a mental illness from many developmental stages in people, and just as overexposure to pornography can create psychopaths and sociopaths, many things can lead to homosexual tendencies as well.

Sometimes it can also be the need felt to fit in. People sometimes have trouble finding a group of people that they can relate to, and when that happens, people often create something to relate about. In today's society, homosexuality is being seen more and more as acceptable. The number of oppressors is shrinking.

There's also those who just actually honestly think like your example. They want to be persecuted. They want to be hated because they get some type of kick out of it. I think this group is actually rather small, but it still exists.

I hope this helps. I borrowed a lot from my mother's experience in counseling and studying homosexual patterns. She'd be able to give a more descriptive answer, but she's not here.

Answer 2

you see i dont think it always is a choice. i think some people are born gay..... i think some arent. its not as black and white as you think.

additionally, if you read 'Brain Gender' by melissa hines you may get a more scientific basis for how we develop our physical and mental gender and how the two can be vastly different. people dont realise untill they study such subjects as psychobiology just how much of gender, sexuality and what we desire has a biological basis. the science is out there and has been for years.

it will also clear up for you this 'basic instinct' that you believe people have to be heterosexual. Because for many people out there for more decades than anyone can count there has been people with the basic instinct to love people of the same sex.



and really....... i dont think many gay people out there think about the religious right and wanting to some how 'annoy' them. this is really such an ignorant comment..... i almost didnt answer but then i was impressed that you were asking others opinions on the matter instead of simply inciting hate.



lastly if you re-read your question i think you will perhaps start re-thinking your argument. why would anyone choose a life where they are hated by so many for who they love? sounds unfathomable doesnt it? surely this argument sounds ridiculous to you. at the very least, even if you stick to your beliefs against the gay community, you need to find a more reasonable argument than this.

maybe the reason people are gay is because its near impossible to stop loving the people you desire and want to love. this is the basic, universal human instinct you speak of. why is this so difficult to understand?

Answer 3

Claims that gays are some heavily persecuted minority are overblown.

There are some people who bash gays and such.

But that is more than offset by the extremely positive treatment gays get in the media, in popular culture, and in society in general these days -- even in the public school systems, homosexuality is constantly portrayed in a favorable and "normal" light.

Homosexuals have a much higher per-capita income than society at large.

They are far more likely to hold advanced degrees and professional jobs.

They are also far more likely than the overall population to take foreign vacations -- a sign that they not only have money, but significant amounts of disposable income.

In light of all those facts -- where is all this "persecution" that you're talking about???

Answer 4

Everyone has a tendency to be vulnerable to a particular sin. The choice is about behavior. Shall we act on that tendency when we are tempted?

Why does an alcoholic choose to drink? Because his desires get the best of him. Same with the gay person.

Sometimes there is much homosexuality in his environment. For instance, I know a guy who had a girl friend in high school, but he was a ballet dancer, and he got into the American dance scene, which is highly homosexual, and wound up gay.

It is a choice, but is very hard to make without Jesus to help.

Answer 5

No-one can choose to be gay. People are utterly at the mercy of their desires and can only control their responses to them, not define the terms with which they receive them. The whole nature/ nurture argument would seem to provide some sort of counter to this, but I really believe that Homosexuality is as old as civilisation. Apparently when Apes are kept in captivity(as similar an environment to our civilisation as can "ethically" be created) they often show homosexual behaviours, suggesting that confinement and proximity may be more causal than personal psychology.

Answer 6

I dont believe that anyone chooses to be gay, i think that it is in your genes and you are born to like the opposite sex... I know ppl that are gay and their family members are straight as a board... I also dont think that there is anything wrong with being gay, I have gay friends and most of the time they are more normal than we are. they also usually have a better sense of style and humor...I think that it is the persons hormones that attracks them to the opposite sex rather than them choosing to be gay, if they choose to be gay they have to face the facts on what might possibly happen to them from the ppl that find being gay disgusting. I am sorry that I could not agree with you that being gay is a choice. I truly believe that it is something you are born.

Answer 7

People do not choose to be gay. You are either born gay or straight. Despite the popular religious outlook on the subject, you do not choose your sexual orientation - god does. Sexual identity is defined by the age of six, according to what I've heard. No one would choose to be persecuted the way that gays are persecuted. No one. To think any differently makes you a very ignorant person.

Answer 8

imagine yourself a girl born into a family in which your dad molest you, your brother physically abuses you when no one is around, and your other male relatives aren't much better in appearance, hygene, personality, or attitude. As a child growing up in this, this would no doubt effect how you look at all men, so why should it be any surprise that you become gay. this may or may not be an extreme for some gays that chose to be such. others are born gay with the physical attraction for the same sex

Answer 9

Rut row...you've now opened a can of worms...

Just because you are attracted to someone of your sex doesn't mean to "have" to act on it. It's called self-control. It is a choice to act on an impulse...and yes, that can constitute a sin.

In the Garden of Eden, Eve was taken from Adam's rib. Rib in Hebrew is the "other side." We as women are the other side of man. When we are joined together in marriage, we are joined as one. That can only happen with a male and female.

Grace to you and God Bless!

(BTW, I won't judge someone for living a gay lifestyle. I don't condone their behavior or their choices. It's not my job to judge, that belongs to God. He does a much better job at God than I could ever do...) I'm here to spread the Good News of Jesus Christ, where we all can be forgiven!

Answer 10

Lack of female attention + the first attention you get at the *right age* comes from a male = natural attraction to males. The wires in the brain can do all SORTS of things, This wire can change place with that wire, and that one can change place with this one. If you're like me and like to look at the obvious, fundamental CORE snippets of evidence from where to get your answers, then these things are pretty obvious.

There are so many "wires" in the brain, Who knows, maybe some people do indeed chose to be gay because they nurture certain feelings, tendencies and such, while others find the whole experience simply confusing?

As for genes.. Ha, If I decided to hop on one leg for an hour each day, and then I taught my son to do the same and told him to teach his son, and so one, will my family have a NATURAL tendency to hop on one leg in 300 years time?