I dunno how to deal w/ my parents?

Question

im almost 18...i got an awesome bf, they know nothing about him...they would be so mad..cuz its a religous thing, should I just tell them about him...or what, they think they can still ground me. I hate that, I need help bad

my bf is religous also, so am i. it is very important to me.

so if i dont tell them, does that mean i should brake up wit him? he would really be hurt, i know it

Answer 1

I think that you should talk to them about it and tell them how much you love him. If they get mad they need to understand how it was being a teenager in love!

Answer 2

If you live in their house, its their rules, and you're wrong not to tell them about a boyfriend, he's not awesome if you sneak around. Religion, well that is not a bad thing, and if you go against parents, you are wrong, the time for your own thing, when you are mature, that's not now, and that will come in time, you don't know all you think you do at 18, so slow down, come clean and take the consequences of your actions like the almost adult you feel you are, in the long run, you will sleep better with honesty with parents, it is the right thing...I promise.

Answer 3

Well you are legally an adult but not an adult. You are a young adult and you live in their house so you have to follow their rules. I wish that I could give you more advice about what to do about your bf but I really can't. It sounds like they are really serious about the religion thing and that might make them do something drastic, but on the other side I do not think that you should sneak around. Maybe you should take some time and figure out what your best course of action is.Think things through with your mind not your heart right now. You have to have a place to stay and you do not want to burn bridges especially with your parents.

Answer 4

The harsh reality of it is that they can in fact still ground you as long as you're living under their roof. However, it's obviously getting to you and you want to tell them otherwise you wouldn't have asked the question. Think about the concequences of telling them, what they'll do and how they'll react. Everyone's parents are different so no-one can say what you should and shouldn't do- it's down to you to decide. You have to think why you want to tell them, if the concequences are worth it and if you can get out of the situation by moving out or however else.

If you do decide to tell them then you have to remember, and let your parents know, that your religious beliefs differ slightly from theirs (obviously if you approve of having a boyfriend and they don't) and that you are nearly an adult and old enough to decide for yourself what makes you happy.

You are in fact almost old enough to legally marry without their consent after all, nevermind just being in a relationship. I'm not saying you should get married, just in the context of things a relationship should be your choice.

Answer 5

How to deal with parents in every situation:

-Talk to them calmly. No getting emotional. Ever. I can't stress this one enough.
-Truth. And if you MUST lie: Give them 90% truth and10% lie (Any more than that will never work)
-Compromise. They have owned you your whole life, don't expect to break away and do everything you want just yet. Be prepared to make deals and put up with some crap from them. But, for godsakes, swallow your pride.


Since this is a religious thing: Have a talk with them and explain to them that you aren't abandoning your religion and your family beliefs and that your boyfriend has no interest in preventing you from practicing your beliefs. Give them examples on how he's a nice guy or how he's ethical or carries strong morals. That's what they are really interested in.

Answer 6

I recon just tell em, but Im not u so I can't be sure thats the right thing, I guess it matters what religeon u r 2.
Yeah just tell em, if u wanna be with ur fella do the right thing, go the right way about it. but u sound young so maybe u should appreciate the fact you may not NEED this fella all that badly. Sorry I would have hated to hear that, but its true like it or lump it.

Answer 7

If you are very religious and so is your bf then you both know about honoring thy father and thy mother. Which neither one of yall are doing. And I'm talking about the lieing to them.
You are an adult at 18 and able to live your own life but I suggest that you tell your parents and sit them down and explain things. Have your bf there with you for moral support and to show your parents that he is there for you in every way.

Then depending on their response........you have to go from there on how to handle it.

Answer 8

Hey, u are turning into a beautiful young woman is normal to hate things specially in this regard.
First, let me tell u the reason parents don't want to give their girls to bfs is because they love them ...you have a heart and they have to take care of it...so they can't trust it to anybody.
Now what begings bad... ends up bad... you don't want to beging something that is important to u with a "lie" specially when you know u need to respect mom and dad.
If you break up u and him wil be hurt but u guys wil be fine with the time..now ...I believe u love your parents more than anything and just as u r concernt about your bf getting hurt you have concider you 'hurting your parents" I know both are important to u (I hope I'm making myself clear... and explaininc it right)
so talk to one of your parents the one u sopend time the most....
no matters how big or small is the time u sopend with this mom or dad...tell her/him like this...

"mom, I love u and I don't want to do wrogn to u...but things r changing in me, and now I found my self thinking about this guy... and I really l;ike him and I know I like him too.
What can I do Mom/dad???? I'd like to see him ... can we work something out.
If u have a good attitude they will trust u, now if they say NO... u will have to be strong and pray...do not loose control over u and get mad... you can say o.k...and then try later ...maybe when u turn 18...
have an easy mind u'll be oky,....
and your bf...if he loves u will wait...remember u r young this is normal...but mom and dad don't want to trus your clean-pure heart to someone they don't know...
Love ya lots...rally I do...u made me remember of my early times ..."I'm 25 now but I'll be 26 on Sept 3rd.
I'll pray 4 you tonight ...
be nice with mom and dad...they love u although sometimes they don't say it.
Jeremiah 29:11
take care...if u want to keep in touch..please feel free to write.
[e-mail]...my name is Maria

Answer 9

hey, your only 18! . ..u really think this guy is worth all that trouble u want to cause your loving parents that bought u up from childood ?. .. is he really worth that..
do u see yourself with him 10 years from now. Let me tell u ,. . when ur 18 everything your parents tell u seem wrong. . .but little do we know, they have life experience. for all we know.. you might have a change of heart when u grow up to be 28. .

Right now religion may not matter to you .. but beleive me, when u have kids. .this will be an issue. i know a lot of ppl, that made the wrong decision when they were younger & now they regret it. . be patient carefully think before u decide. .

wish u luck. . .

Answer 10

Respect and you will be respected is what I usually say. Just sit down with them and have an open, adult, respectable, honest conversation (not arguement) and let them know exactlly how you feel w/o an attitude or disrespect and even try to listen to what they have to say. I didn't say you had to understand or agree, but just listening can show respect. Maybe after that... you can show them what you see in your BF by having a family outting with your bf along. Maybe they will see how awesome he treats you, or maybe they'll realize that their girl is growing up and she needs to make her own desisions on life (including BF's)
Good Luck

Answer 11

Better to speak up clearly about him,instead of others telling your parents.
And whatever they say it is for your good i think they will not say NO and one thing i would like to tell you. They are afraid that you may take a wrong step, as they think that you are not that mature.Plz concentrate on your academics then your parents will obey you.