I really want to let go, but i love her too much.............please help!?

Question

I am with this woman who treats me really, really badly. I would do anything for her, and i really love her, but i am to the point where i just want to end things with her because the pain is too unbearable, and she always mistreats me. The problem is that everytime i try to do it, i can not because i really do love her and want to spend the rest of my life with her. Please help.....what do i do?

Answer 1

I can understand were you're comming from. The first love is the hardest, but though you hate to do it you must let her go...some advice i was always told, is put myself first. always when it comes to your happiness put yourself first. Maybe you should try talking to her. If you two have some good times than it shouldn't be impossible to ask her why she treats you that way. sometimes its best to let things go and put them in the past but its better to face your problems and confront it. Find out why she treats you so badly, by talking it out. does she have insecurity problems, jelousy, etc? ask questions, get answers, but make sure you don't let your guard down. Reasure her you love her but don't know how to make you and her both happy, either appart or together. she might not mean to be so hurtful. IT could be just an involuntary reaction to life itself and seh doesn't realize it. so help her, help herself so you both can be happy. hope this helps you.

Answer 2

been there! That sux. Well, in my experience, if you are thinking seriously about leaving someone, then there is normally a very good reason too. I know it's hard to say goodbye to someone that you care about so much, and it seems that the pain will never go away. But when someone is constantly hurting you, it needs to become a matter of survival. You cant be in a relationship that is full of hurt and maintain a healthy view of yourself. I've been there. The hardest part was saying goodbye, and walking out. After that it got easier every day, little by little. If you are meant to be together then that person will realize what they were doing to you, and try to get you back. If they do nothing or see nothing wrong with the way they treated you, then it was never meant to be

Answer 3

Does she treats you bad for no reason at all? Or do you feel that way because you don't get what you want. Try to figure out who is in the wrong first. Try to talk to her, and I mean over and over and over again if you love her. But when you really feel that you're not getting anywhere, you should leave her. I hope there are no kids involved. There is someone out there who will treat you as a person.

Answer 4

I agree with everyone else. You should leave, but you also need to know that the problem isn't her, its you. The reason that you're stuck is all about you, your self esteem and co-dependency issues. You should seek help, Co-dependency anonymous, it's a support group for folks who feel just like you. If you don't seek help, whenever you leave this relationship, you'll just keep picking another abusive person in your life. You need learn how to love you and treat yourself good, then you won't tolerate anyone else treating you any less than you treat yourself!

Answer 5

Ask yourself this question "Am I happy being a doormat?" Because what the heck are you getting out of this relationship other than 2 footprints on your back? You can't force people to love you and we don't treat people we love really really badly. Time to let her go...the pain will dull eventually. If you are happy being her whipping boy, then by all means, continue to do so and while you're at it, give me all the money in your wallet.

Answer 6

I am so sorry. Letting go of someone you love is probably one of the hardest things to do but not knowing when to let go is much harder. You know in your heart that this relationship will go nowhere as long as she continues to mistreat you. Somewhere there is a woman that will love you and she will not mistreat you. You have to move on with your life and you won't be able to do that if you continue to hold on to a woman that disrespects you. Let her go. Good luck to you.

Answer 7

You need to realize that you can be treated much better by someone else and that will make the love so much easier. Everyone deserves respect and your obviously not recieving any so when you go to leave just remember the "abuse" in the relationship and that your better than that. She probably thinks you will be there forever because your to afraid to leave but one day just leave maybe even temporarly and she'll realize that she needs to stop taking you for granted. She might even change depending on the circumstances.

Answer 8

I think you're focussing on the wrong thing. What you really need to focus on is why you would want to be so self-destructive as to be with a woman who treats you badly. You are letting her take control and what's more, letting her define you. My guess is that the answer is in your past. Concentrate on that, build your sense of self and the rest will come right...

Answer 9

you love her..that's not the problem here. the problem is Her, and her ability to love you back the way u need. u cannot have a positive, fulfilling, *healthy* relationship if it is one sided. sometimes u have to let someone go, if it's best for that person, even if it's something that will hurt you. that is my definition of what love is: u care SO MUCH for that person, that u want the best for them, their happiness is put above yours... u seem to have that down PAT. now what u have to do, however (in order to live a happy, healthy life), is to find someone who loves you back in that same way.

u love her and want best for her, her happiness is above urs
she loves u and wants best for u, ur happiness is above hers

see how that completes and secures ANYTHING and EVERYTHING that life throws at you? when u sacrifice for her, she will sacrifice for u, and u will be secure in ur love and commitment. ur relationship can grow and learn and become better each day. but if u don't have that, if one person is lazy, or mean, or selfish, then ur trust of her ends up crumbling, and the relationship is not strong anymore.

u need to accept that her love for u is not good enough, if she does say she loves you. u have to accept that ur love for her is right, but she is not willing or able to appreciate enough to satisfy you. there's nothing wrong w/ expecting a loving, caring girlfriend, when u are being that kind of boyfriend to her. find someone who CAN and WANTS to be that for you..that is the only way u can grow w/ someone and be healthy and positive..if u stick w/ someone who is negative and pulls u down, u will end up resenting her and ruining ur life. a relaitonship is work, but a fulfilling kind of work. what u have right now is one sided, and not fulfilling at all. take a good look at what u are, what u expect from urself, and from ur partner, and from this relationship: if u do not have similar goals, u are not going to go anywhere.

Answer 10

Though i admire you for your unwavering and heartfelt love of this women, I must say that in order for anyone to find true happiness in this world they must be content with themselves first. She makes you feel horrible and small, that is not good for you and you do not need that nor do you deserve it. You need to break it off with her or else she may end up walking over you the rest of your life. Be strong, stand up for yourself, and who knows maybe she will realize what an *** she has been. But most likely not anytime soon.