i overheard my 4 year old and my fiance's 5 year old talking about playing doctor...please help!!!?

Question

please help!! i overheard my 4 year old daughter and my fiance's 5 year old son talking about playing a game that involved "privates". i, of course, freaked out and yelled at my daughter and had my fiance have a talk with his son. after finally settling down and talking about this situation with my daughter i found my fiance's son didn't actually see my daughter's private area but was close enough and the game was definitely inappropriate. i don't know what to do. of course i told her to never do this again and it's never ok to show someone her privates but i'm still concerned. does she need therapy or is this normal behavior? i guess i'm so upset cause i thought the kids were being supervised well enough to not do something like this. i'm distraught, please help!!

Answer 1

Sweetie I know what your going thru. Let me tell you I have had my run ins with little ones playing doctor. At that age...they are exploring. They explore even their body parts. It is perfectly NORMAL. Next time don't freak out. You will make them associate their sexuality with something negative if you keep doing that. However!! There ARE boundaries. So...its ok to talk to her about boundaries and that its not ok to play with other peoples privates or let other people play with her privates. Show her what is ok to play and demonstrate that. No she won't need therapy. She is not tramatized by playing doctor with the boy. She could be if you treat her like she is a bad person for doing "such a thing" when she is really innocent and doesn't know better. Now I do know the difference. IF she was really acting out and sexually molested it would be alot more severe and hidden. Feel free to talk to a social worker about child development. They will clue you in. Also parenting classes...even though some thing they are for 'bad parents' they are great and full of wonderful information. They make good parents great parents.I really did learn alot from them.

Answer 2

This is something that every child does. I am surprised that you havent already had the talk with your daughter about her private area, You should always start that talk as soon as they notice a difference between mom and dad's private areas. And then each year the talk gets a little more detailed. SHe should know that no one but mom and dad and doctor (when mom or dad says it is okay) Use your own judgement withthe rest of the talk to make it age appropriate but dont freak out about.She did not do anything wrong..Dont make her think she did.

Answer 3

Because she's only 4 and he's only 5, they haven't really established what's acceptable and what's not, especially to do with their privates. I know a 4 yr old who still doesn't think it unnacceptable to run around naked (he's not allowed to, though.)

I would suggest sitting down with them and having a talk. Explain that they are allowed to be curious about their body, but if they want to talk about it, they should only do so with their parents. Explain that their body belongs to them, and that they should never show it to anyone except mommy, daddy, and the doctor.

If you find them doing it again, you should be more firm and give them a minor punishment to teach them that playing that sort of game is not acceptable.

Answer 4

this is normal, don't panic as it scares the kids and they really don't know why you are so angry or upset. to them they are just curious but not in a perverted way. the best way to handle it is stay calm, you and your fiance should find a time when its quiet and talk to both of them together and explain how important it is for them to respect each others private areas, this would also be a good time to discuss good touch bad touch with them concerning other children and adult. there are lots of sites on the net where you can get this info on how to talk to them on their level, cause there is no way they are going to understand if you get too medical or too mature, keep it simple and keep un-stressful. and don't worry they are normal.

Answer 5

You don't really need to worry. They're little kids, and of course they are going to play games. But you should draw the line before they see each others private parts. Just tell her that's not good, and that she needs to stop. Hopefully this works! Good Luck!


If this continues, you may need to take her to a therapist, but ONLY as a last resort!

Answer 6

ok for starters no you're daughter does not need therapy. what you should do is find out were the kids learned to play doctor from. one of two things will happen. one: the kids were just playing make believe and you caught them before they saw to much. two: someone is being a bad influence on you're kids.and taught them something wrong. not necessarily on purpose. although children have a natural curiosity about their bodies.they have to learn games like doctor from somewhere. start by finding out where they learned it from

Answer 7

Remember, with kids......make a big deal, it is a big deal. What they're doing is normal for the age group. Make sure your child knows she can come to you with questions, and that it isn't necessarily appropriate for her to ask a 5 year old that most likely won't have honest answers. Being curious about sex isn't abnormal or inappropriate, and that needs to be conveyed to your child lest you end up raising a repressed person who thinks sex is "dirty"!

Answer 8

Jeeze....relax. It's normal behavior. All kids are curious. Forget the therapist crap. You see how well it worked with some of the simpletons here haven't you? just take a look at their questions.

Nope...you and your fiance addressed this with their respective kids and I doubt you'll have this problem again.

Answer 9

Doctors and Nurses has been around for ages children that age are just curious.

Find a good child therapist and consult them.

Your main concern should be were they to young to play doctors and nurses. Don't panic it is just the curiosity of same aged children.

Answer 10

no she doesn't need therapy, unless she's stressed out about the way you yelled at her. 4 and 5 yr olds don't konw about "privates" and if you make them scared, they will be ashamed of them as they grow up.

don't get angry with her. kids do that. just tell her it isn't "appropriate" to show people your body parts because it isn't good manners or it isn't what "big girls" do, or something along those lines.