How can I tell if my friend wants to be more than friends?

Question

He sometimes tells me that I'm great, and that he enjoys talking to me. We get on very well. We laugh a lot together, and have various in-jokes. We tend to think in the same way, and often say things the other was about to say. We're friends, but I can't tell if he likes me as more than a friend. He's a few years older than me, and he says he's shy and he doesn't meet many women in his normal life. I once told him that no one ever likes me as more than a friend and he said 'I'm sure there are those who care deeply but don't express it'. How much should I read into that? He's the sort of person who everyone gets on well with, and he has lots of friends, but I think he talks to me more than a lot of those, and we have more deep and meaningful conversations! I don't live near him, so I usually talk to him on MSN messenger. We talk on MSN quite a lot. Short of asking him (which I don't have the confidence to do), how can I tell what he thinks of me?

Answer 1

by asking him

Answer 2

You never find friends like that. Real friends like that are hard to come by these days. The biggest problem is that if you try to take that friendship to another level it may doom what you already have. But at the same time if you were to find out that he had found someone himself, you would be jelous, and he would be the same way towards you, if you had found someone. My suggestion would be just stay friends and keep all the hubbub to minimum. I'm sure you don't want to do that and that's why your asking what you are. The only way you could do it without acting like your in middle school is asking him yourself. He's says he's shy so he's not going to confront you. Your going to have to take initiative and make the first move. If he says no then at least you didnt let him slip away. I know it sounds easy from my point of view but it's something you have to do. You may not like it but that's the only way. There's no magic ball that'll tell you what he thinks. Good luck!!

Answer 3

real life story. this happened to me.
I really liked one of my best friends. one day i called her to see if she wanted to go to a movie. we sat together in the back row. (hint the armrests go up) in the begining i made sure i had some body contact (legs touching or 2 arms on the armrest) about 1/3 into the movie i slowly put my hand on my leg but close to hers. hopefully they will do the same slowly move your hand closer until they are touching. lift you hand up above the other persons slowly and if they are interested then they will open there hand and you can slide your hand into theres and intertwine ur fingers.hold hands for the rest of the movie. remember to let the other person accept every movement you make and dont force anything. let it flow.
good luck
god bless +

Answer 4

You're going to have to ask him. Either ask him or tell him how /you/ feel. If you try to subtly draw out the answer you want, it'll just go in circles. I was in the exact same place as you about a week ago. He obviously enjoys your company, and if he's as good a friend as he sounds like, you should be able to talk to him about it. Good luck!

Answer 5

Shy awakard, looking like he wants to say something, tense, trying to touch you ie tickle is common.

May try and impress you, want to spend a lot of time with you. stare at you, stare at your boobs... try and get you on your own etc...

Dont assume he does not like you if says that to your mates... may not trust them...


And likly to be sacred that if you find out how he feels you will turn on and hate him, stop being his friends and trun all his and your mates against him.



Do you like him?

Well I can guarantee he is more scared then you aere...

so get dancing with him and get touchy and see how he responds.

Go to the cineman and if he does not put his arm around you let him know he can if he wants and see if he ries to touch your boob. If his had is all tense like he wants to but if he tried he thinks you would hate him, pull his had down and move over to kiss him.


ie communicate your feelings though touch and show you dont bite if touched

Answer 6

if it is an email relationship, just ask him what his intentions are? he could reply many ways including never contacting you again. but real physical and unconditional love is better than a computer screen babe:)
if it is not, you should just kiss him, after you have flurted for a bit to make sure he is receptive, and then see what happens. p.s. i kissed a girl that wanted to be friends in the end, but the weekend it took her to make that decision was really hot!

Answer 7

i had the same thing happen to me once , we liked eachother a lot but never admitted it till it was too late...we hid our feelings...now i have a new bf and he and i still have the strong feelings but from a distance...i think you should try getting a lil closer, be touchy feely and look into his eyes but dont try anything...see what you get from that...you have to read his body language...it sounds like he likes you but he probably wont saying anything any time soon...he needs to know he has a chance with you before he makes a move

Answer 8

you should ask-i think he likes u as a friend, trust me you will KNOW when they wanna step it up. Does he find alot of ways to touch you, like on shoulder-hand-face etc.? better to have good guy friend-they are rarer than good bf, and more fun-well plutonically speaking more fun-lol

Answer 9

Just give him some time and then he will ask you if he doesn't you wouldn't want to look like a fool by saying how you feel about him. I say just be patient.

Answer 10

If hes shy you should make ur move, and ask him of what he really thinks about you.

This happened to me before like ur situation. I'm 13 and shes 14 then i asked her then she said yes to me.

you can do it!
gud luck

Answer 11

You and "your guy" have the ground work for what can be a very good "more than friends" relationship...if the two of you are that close, ASK HIM FOR HIS OPINION on relationship issues...