Should I leave her?

Question

Should I leave my girlfriend?

We have set up a saving account, as we are ready to buy a house together. Unfortunately, lately we have just had row after row after row.

We have paid our deposits on the house and we will prob lose them if we pull out now. If we are fighting more and more, and each time its more serious. What is the right course of action for me to take?

HELP

Answer 1

Do you love her? If so consider counseling, it can work wonders. However, if you are completely sick of her, just take the hit on the deposit and move on with your life.

Answer 2

Wow. I feel for you. I've read some other responses and I think some are really on track in saying that buying the house itself and the idea of getting into this big commitment together could be causing a lot of the problems. It may seem silly to get counceling since you aren't even married, but it actually is a really good idea. You are uncertain, and it will just help you to make the right choice. A therapist (at least a good one) will not take sides or try to convince you to stay together if it isn't right (especially if you aren't married yet). He or she will help you see things more clearly so you don't make a decision you will later regret.
You obviously have a serious relationship and some good times and memories that got you as far in this as you are. It doesn't mean you should stick together, but it may be a sign that there is something worth working at before you throw in the towel.
Also, regarding your investment...is it a good investement and how much money have you put into it? Would you consider buying the house and selling it? Would you make a profit? Maybe one of you would be interested in staying in the house and getting a roomate. There are all sorts of possibilites.
But first and formost, get some help with the relationship and with making a good decision. And let your girlfriend in on your misgivings. Maybe she is having the same thoughts.
Whatever you do, feel confident in your choice and move on to make whatever you decided to do, work for you.
All the best!

Answer 3

Well if you can't even stick together to buy a house then I would say you aren't mature enough or you just don't care...You must have been thinking about spending a long time together if you already put the deposit down...Can't you both be adults about this and figure it out ..
If you are going to be fighting over and over again then it's a lost cause, but if you can deal with your problems head on like adults you might just have a chance.

Answer 4

better to lose money than have a miserable life together.
Buy a house is stressful. Maybe this is causing all the arguments. Talk with her and find out what exactly is the problem. If you two can't get along then damn the money deposits and separate now.

Answer 5

Well I may just be 15 but I'm still gonna give you my advice. If u really love her and can see yourself with her 15 years from now and she can do the same then don't break up! I know very little about love but I do know it's hard to find. Try just sittin and talkin with her to see if there's a bigger reason as to why ya'll are fightin so much, maybe she's gonna have a baby is that possible? Hope things work out. Good luck!!!:P

Answer 6

You both may be fighting because you have doubts over your relationship. But if you pull out now, you may lose the deposit.
How long did it take you both to save up the money, and how long do you plan on staying together?
If the relationship is the root of the arguing, then I would personally prefer to lose the money but save both your sanities (and healths and happinesses, etc).
Blimey, good luck.

Answer 7

Well you screwed the pooch now didnt you. Have you two ever considered thast the only reason you're fighting is because you're stressed about buying the house? You two should sit down and talk through your problems and see what's causing all the headaches before making a rash decision.

Answer 8

Couples tend to fight a lot, its healthy in a relationship. Having said that it could also lead to a breakup but then again not necessarily. If you still love her etc. then don't leave her. Follow your heart on that one. Anyways, about the financial matters, I would put that off for a while, at least until you two stabilize your relationship once again. You don't want to take any chances, besides you have more important things to worry about. Relationships are more important than financial matters (in my opinion at least).

Answer 9

Cut your losses if you feel the relationship isn't working.
I know a deposit is likely to be say 10% and maybe around £25000 so you either have to buy one another out if you can afford it or go ahead, buy the house and then sell it again quick!

Answer 10

Just ask yourself if it's worth staying with her. If you can see yourself having a future with her, try and work things out.

If you think things are gonna stay the same and not get any better, just leave her. There's no point trying to save your deposit money if it's going to cost your future happiness.