I dated this guy for 2 months and lived with him the whole time, I fell in love with him. He then left me for his Ex-girlfriend. 1 1/2 months later He came back to me and pronounced his untampered love for me, I did take him back after 3 weeks of him asking and crying. Should I just forgive and forgete??
2006-08-08 05:05:04 · 14 answers · asked by Erica V 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
No
Once a guy does that and knows that a girl will take him back if he begs enough...he will never change.
2006-08-08 05:09:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a difficult problem. You actually have to weigh your options; on the one hand, you still love him and want to give it another try, on the other you are not certain whether he will do it again. It could very well be that he ends up doing to her (his ex) what he is doing to you, and so he might be yo-yoing between the two of you. However, the fact that he apparently went back to her with the same pledge of undying love as he then presented to you after leaving her once again suggests he is not really sure where he stands in life.
Your boyfriend strikes me to suffer from the "wobbeling satellite syndrome". What I mean by this is acertain inability to define the proper closeness, or distance, in a relationship. A satellite, like the moon, orbits around a planet with a rather well defined distance. In case of man-made satellites, now and then the orbit has to be adjusted or else the satellite will be shot out into space or come crushing down into the planet. I know, the analogy is a little technical in appearance, but bear with me for a second. Your bf seems to be a little like a wobbeling satellite, which has lost its bearings and cannot define the proper orbit anymore. Being close to you, he crashes twoards you fool throttle, only to realize that this is too close for him and he fears to crash. He yanks himself into reverse and shoots away, trying to get his "independence" back. Once far away he feels lonely, and inevitably longs for yet the companionship he has just given up. So, in your case, he tried another, rather familiar "planet" he had abandoned before for the same reasons. And like clockwork he once again cycled through the same behavior, now rushing back to you for companionship in an otherwise lonely and scary empty part of space.
While the analogy is a bit lacking on the romanitc side, I think you catch my drift. Your bf may just be a wobbeling satellite and lack the maturity it requires to commit to a relationship.
That said, I am always suggesting that if you have the very strong and inescapable sense that you have to give it another chance it may be best to do so. Pain cannot be avoided in life, and sometimes one has to take the riskeven in the face of very unlikely odds. Nothing hurts more than the feeling of looking back and thinking "I should have tried...". But that of course, is your decision to make, and it is not an easy one.
Good luck. I hope you will find the answer that is best for you.
2006-08-08 05:23:27 · answer #2 · answered by oputz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes , pl. forgive him, as forgiveness's a great thing. May B, then he realizes his error & respect U more than earlier, may not leave again, if U like him too. But at the same time, do not forget to warn him "not again". U R not going to loose anything by doing so, but on his part, let him have an opportunity to improve upon.
2006-08-08 05:22:09 · answer #3 · answered by JD 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, it seems like he genuinely cares, but you need to be on your guard. if he left you once, who's to say he won't do it again? what you could do is agree to be together, but on limited terms for a while. i mean, dont live together and wait at least a little while before sex. make him prove that he's serious, and show him that you're not entirely sure of his intentions, and that's why you're waiting to see what he'll do when put in this situation. i think that that's the only way that you're going to get past this. i suggest forgiving, but don't forget. if he did it once, there's always the possibility he'll do it again.
2006-08-08 05:10:23 · answer #4 · answered by begeeman13 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is he back? Probably because he is having problems w/ that chick too. He will just keep bouncing back and forth if you let him. Leave him before it gets too deep. If you only dated him for 2 mos you should be able to get over him fairly quickly.
2006-08-08 05:11:05 · answer #5 · answered by ariola2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hell no! Are you a nice person? Do you have something to offer? Then he does not deserve you! Don't waste your pretty.... Find someone who can't live without you for the rest of his life, not someone who can't make up his mind.... - It usually means no, you know....
Past behaviour is the best predicament of future behaviour....
2006-08-08 05:16:15 · answer #6 · answered by dk_angel2005 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ummm no. sounds like drama to me. but thats what you get for living with the guy! he's just geting all the girls he wants this way.
2006-08-08 05:10:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
forgive, don't forget. proceed with caution
2006-08-08 05:12:24 · answer #8 · answered by Echo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should forgive but i doubt you will forget.
2006-08-08 05:10:33 · answer #9 · answered by Katie PS 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no...he's probably looking for a place to stay.....and he knows that ur very vunerable , so he's probably just trying to use you....becareful.
2006-08-08 05:10:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋