I ask one of my frineds to be a maide of honor for my wedding and she said yes, Well we got our dresses fitted and all and sence then I really don't hear from her. She like in her own little world and doesn't even bother calling me or anything. What should I do? I have though of taking her out of the wedding.
2006-08-08 04:59:24 · 17 answers · asked by butterfly 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Any relationship is two ways. Call her, make sure she's still on board. she might just be busy lately.
If you were to take her out of the wedding without talking to her first, I guarantee you'd lose her as a friend forever.
Remember--Relationships are always a two way street. if one falls apart, nobody is blameless. Call her up!
2006-08-08 05:05:26 · answer #1 · answered by LEMME ANSWER THAT! 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My sister ousted her maid of honor for the same thing. Many people today don't have any idea what wedding etiquette is. They don't know that being a Maid of Honor is just that an honor and it comes with responsiiblilties. A Maid of Honor is supposed to plan at least on Bridal Shower and the Bachelorette Party. Also she is supposed to accompany you to the big day along with your mother and help you. In other words if you have to go out and get bobby pins or pantyhose or whatever, she's supposed to get them or help coordinate everyone else. Its her way of helping you. Call her and tell her that being maid of honor has certain duties. Ask her if she wants the responsiblity because you don't want to burden her if she's not willing to go through with it. If she doesn't want that, let her be a bridesmaid and ask another friend or relative to be maid of honor. But do this nicely because you don't want to burn any bridges that might spoil your wedding.
My sister ended up asking me to be Matron of Honor and our younger unmarried sister to be maid of honor. So she had then elected two helpers.
2006-08-08 13:22:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I totally hear you. I'm having similar issues with the woman who is supposed to be my maid of honor. We've been friends since we were 5, lived next door growing up, lived together all 4 years of college... we recently graduated and I basically haven't seen her or heard from her at all. It was kind of an unspoken thing that she was going to be in the wedding, an assumption for both of us. Well, now I'm reconsidering even having her as a bridesmaid, let alone the maid of honor. It just sucks a lot because her brother was going to be an usher and her mom a reader. Luckily we haven't ordered dresses or anything, but it still puts a kink in my plans... I'd say talk to her and ask her what's up. Just be up front. I know it's a hard thing to do because I haven't done that myself, but I'll tell ya what... I'll do it if you do it! Good luck! No matter what happens, focus on the fact that you're getting married and starting your life with the person you love!
2006-08-08 12:30:07 · answer #3 · answered by Leah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think she should know her part and no she does not have to call you all the time or even think about your wedding as much as you do but in all respect a phone call once a week to touch base is more then enough and it keeps you from worrying about her were abouts and thoughts. she should be available for you and very much a help to you that's why it's called maid of honor she is helping to honor you on your special day, and if she is overwhelmed tell her it's OK to drop out or ask for help
2006-08-08 13:38:08 · answer #4 · answered by sexyswells42 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hold on a minute!! Relax. Take a deep breath.
OK. First of all it is your wedding. Not hers. Which means that it is you that is in wedding mode. You are probably thinking about your wedding every minute of every day. Great, good for you. As you should.
You did say that she went to get her dress with you. Therefore, it is safe to assume that she is excited to be apart of your wedding.
Now, before accusing her of being in her own little world (your words not mine), you should just relax and step back from the situation.
This situation is probably not as big a deal as you are making it out to be. She probably doesn't realize that she is "supposed" to be doing anything related to wedding planning. Maybe she thinks that all she had to do was get her dress fit? Maybe she doesn't want to interfere with your planning? Maybe she senses how stressed out you are and doesn't know how to help you?
You see where I'm going? Your wedding day will be fabulous. But remember it is just one day. Don't loose friendships over it.
PS. Most people don't know what is needed of them unless they are asked. Have you asked for her help and told her that you love her and would love to hear her opinion?
2006-08-08 12:19:18 · answer #5 · answered by Moonshimmer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would call her up and say I haven't heard from you since we get out dresses fitted.And was wondering if you still wanted to play the part of my maid of honor or not?Because I really could use you're help with the wedding.Because as maid of honor. you are to help me with details of the wedding planning.paying for her own wedding attire,host a shower for the bride and groom,keep bridesmais informed of all parries.attend the rehersal dinner. help brid get dressed before the wedding.overseas the bridesmaids on wedding day. I hope this helps and good luck
2006-08-08 12:16:06 · answer #6 · answered by Angel sent from heaven 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she really is showing no interest in being a part of your big day then you need to talk to her. You can not demand that she calls you all the time though, think about the things that she is going through in her own life also. If you are going to ask her to back out then you need to be prepared to reimberse her for the cost of the dress. You are the one that is asking her to leave. If you can get her to say that she doesn't want to do it then she has to pay for the dress. Just ask her what is going on maybe you can start the conversation like that. Then maybe she will tell you that she can't do it or something. That is to bad that she is acting like that though. I would be pissed off. I was kind of mad that my bridesmaids could not help me as much as I wanted. But I had to remember that two of them were getting their masters, one was in dental school, another had a family of her own.... the list goes on. But it is disapointing when they are not willing to help. I figure that what goes around comes around to them!
2006-08-08 12:16:08 · answer #7 · answered by michiganwife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Me, me, me, me, me!!! Have YOU called HER?? Friendship is a 2 way street, you know. Just because you're engaged and the bride doesn't mean that the rest of the world has stopped living their lives. I guarantee you, whole days go by for her (and the rest of the wedding party as well) without thinking about your wedding.
So call her up (nicely) and ask her for help if you need it. Have something specific for her to do. She's not psychic, she doesn't know you need help with something if you don't ask her.
2006-08-08 13:55:26 · answer #8 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cant go back on the whole maid of honor thing unless she does something really stupid like sleep with the groom.
You need to call her and ask her whats going on, if she reconsidered her answer
2006-08-08 12:03:45 · answer #9 · answered by iWorkonComputers 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi!!!
I would call her and if you don't get her keep calling until you do and find out what's going on ask her if she still wants to be in your wedding and if not find some body that you can trust
2006-08-09 15:44:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋