Both my husband and I do not want children and have politly expressed this to several people numerous times, but people still ask and are very rude and tell us we are "selfish" for not wanting children. It's my life so why do friend and family try and pressure us into doing something neither one of us want? What is the best response I could give to someone?
2006-08-08 04:37:58 · 26 answers · asked by SadToday22 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
I don't know why but these are the same people who will ask a couple with three kids when they are going to stop having them. People just can't control thier thoughts from escaping their mouths.
I also suffered these questions for eight years while dealing with infertility. If you know the person and they tell you that you are selfish just tell them 'That's right, I am so I do not think it would be fair to a child to have me for a mother'. That will shut them up good. Really, what COULD they say to that?
If you don't know them well - well, I guess the same comment could work. Or tell them that is your choice, your business.
2006-08-08 04:45:43 · answer #1 · answered by AlongthePemi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because people are insensitive! They don't think about the fact that you may not physically be able to have children or you may not want children.
You should say that children are not in your future right now and that you are happy the way your life is. Also say that you are not sure you even want children. That usually shuts them up and there is an uncomfortable silence, but you get your message across and they won't ask you again. These are the types of people who gossip anyway, so they will get on the phone with all your relatives and tell them what you said. This way the message is spread and you won't have to deal with that stupid question
2006-08-08 11:49:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How is it selfish - if you had a baby that you did not want then it would be wrong to bring the child in to the world. You should not feel bad at all. People are nosy and they are the one's being rude putting you on the spot like that (granted it's a common problem).
You could respond with:
Not right now
That's kind of a personal question
We are unable to (which will shut them up)
Or you could opt to not respond at all. Either change the subject or walk away.
2006-08-08 11:43:35 · answer #3 · answered by dolphinchick 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not ask you not everyone wants to be a parent and it's not that selfish what so ever. There are soo Manny children in this world and why do we think that we all need to pump out kids good for you stand your ground and tell whom ever asks that your not a baby maker. I have 2 kids and it's hard work not everyone can be a parent at least you have come to terms to that.
2006-08-08 11:47:09 · answer #4 · answered by stefania_n2000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell them you are enjoying life and do not see how children can make you any happier.
Personally I had 4 but my sister didnt have any.
Your life lead it the way you want. The world is over populated as it is and if more people were responsible like you it would help!
2006-08-08 11:44:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a grandparent thing. Parents naturally want to carry on their legacy, and being a grandparent is the way to do that. As for you and your husband being selfish because you don't want children, they are being selfish for not respecting your choices. The only response I can come up with is that it's your choice, not theirs. You may have to be blunt, and not polite about it.
2006-08-08 11:45:45 · answer #6 · answered by lynda_is 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell them, no, we have decided not to have children. And if they give you lip about being selfish, say, well, we think it would be more selfish to bring a child into the world that we would not want. You have every right to not have kids!
2006-08-08 11:42:34 · answer #7 · answered by PiccChick12 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are certain you are *never* having kids and not just someday you can find support from others who are going through the same thing. There is a large "childfree" contingent on the internet and they have some pretty good answers (some quite stinging" for not having kids) You should check out this llist of sites:
http://www.childfree.net/websites.html
http://forums.delphiforums.com/childfree/start
2006-08-08 11:43:22 · answer #8 · answered by BabyRN 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I are content with our lives right now, and we just don't think having children will be the best thing for our relationship. It's a personal choice, and I hope you'll respect that.
2006-08-08 11:43:20 · answer #9 · answered by :] 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am in the same place we dont want kids eather weve been together 15 years and are verry happy we feel its not selfish at all you have a right to live the way you want and we do not feel we are missing out on anything best anser for them is when thay come whith frys
2006-08-08 11:46:03 · answer #10 · answered by letta g 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋