How long is too long?

Question

My bf and I recently split up. We've been together for two and half years and we're both 19. He says he's not sure if he loves me anymore and he needs time to figure things out. I know hes not trying to string me along, and he really does just want time to think. But hes also trying to figure out where he is going in life and I am away at school so our relationship is long distance. He could a take a couple weeks to make a decision or a couple months. How long do I wait before I try and move on? I want to save the relationship and he deserves time to think, I've been there too. I'm just not sure when its time to move on.

Answer 1

if i were you i would try to make the best of a bad situation and go on with life if you love this guy just dont get into another relationship right now kinda play the field and keep yoourself open if things work then great and if they dont then atleast you have started lettin go

Answer 2

I wouldnt let him drag this on forever, but it does take time to sort all that stuff out, I cant tell ya exactly how long, I would say for you to do the same, take a look at your life, try to see if he is really gonna fit for the long term, take into consideration that you 2 have been together for quite a awhile and may not really be interested in being together after all. just try to keep focused on your own life dont make any sacrifices yet get your own life in order while you have this time and dont freak out if it takes awhile or even if he deciedes not to get back together, thats when you'll be glad you took a look at your own life

Answer 3

Just move on with your life. You are still very young and there will be many more boyfriends in your life, some serious, some not so serious. You should take advantage (as should he) to allow yourself to explore life with other people, I am not saying you should become promiscuous, just interact with others and enjoy yourself. This will give you a better idea of what you really want, and believe me that will change as you grow older and mature.

Answer 4

Sweetie, no one said love was easy or quick. Its not minute rice. If you feel like its worth waiting, and it'll pay off for both of you, keep him in your heart and love him, not just selfishly but completely. A person trying to find themselves could take a lifetime, its not an easy thing to do, if done right. Just be prepared to gamble with your emotions and be honest with yourself and what you'd like out of this relationship. You sound like you want him to be happy, and that's commendable, most people only want what's best for themselves and not for the people that they profess to love, so my heartfelt advice would be to invest this time, but talk to him about it before you do. It wouldn't be a good thing if you offer your unconditional love to him and he isn't ready for it and takes it the wrong way.
My best to you both.

Answer 5

give him a couple of months - 6 at the most, he should have worked out what direction he wants to head by then, if he hasnt, dont feel to bad, stand by him as a friend, support him as a friend and maybe help guide him in the direction he wants to go, considering you dated he may be willing to allow you to help.

Above all both of you need to remain positive, working out what you want to do with the rest of your life is a difficult choice and not one to be taken lightly.....be supportive, be there for him when he needs you, and who knows in 6 months to a year, he may decide you are whats he wants.

Answer 6

Let him go and you'll discover yourself. It was 4 years and believe me I feel you babe, I went thru the same thing with my ex and when he told me that he needed time to figure out if he wanted to be with me or not I was crushed and I did not want anybody but him. But I got over it by not calling him and not accepting calls, visits, gifts, and when he sent text messages to me I would just delete them so I wouldn't fall again. He got the point and we hadn't talked for about 3 months and then I was able to see all the mess and stress that he was putting me thru. I saw him at his brothers graduation (looking absolutely stunning which is a must to get Him to feel dumb) and I waved and walked away and he followed and told me how nice I looked and that he missed me and it was good for me to know that he cared and I did still care but I was over him and that time that I healed allowed me to tell him thanks and just leave.

Answer 7

The best thing you can do is delve into your schooling, strengthen your bonds with friends around you, and jump into school activities or clubs to meet new people. Why wait around for this guy who may or may not love you? Keep yourself busy, give it to God, and go on. You may not be ready to see anybody else, but that doesn't mean you need to keep hoping this one will come back to you.

Answer 8

Don't try and seek out a new man, but just keep your eyes out. If you see an upgrade (as crude as that sounds) then you'll know he wasn't the one for you, and you'll know it's time for you both to move on. Let the old bf know, but don't ask permission.

Answer 9

*sigh* , seems to me he is tiered of the same old thing , dont wait , Cas he wont , if you guyz have done it and a lot , he wants to try on something new.. save yourself some heartbreak. Find a dude who is willing to stick around for a long time..

Answer 10

Trust your heart. Don't let your brain get in the way. Wait as long as you feel you should. You can rarely go wrong following your heart.