Is there a mental illness associated with...?

Question

...getting severely anxious/depressed when seeing attractive young females?

I asked this a day or so ago and left out details... oops. So I'm trying again.

I am a male, despite my avatar. My age is in the mid-30s.

I haven't had a date in at least 4 years, or any intimate contact with a female in around 8 years.

I would be moderately attractive if I was of average weight, but unfortunately I'm overweight, thus I'm very unattractive, though not ugly (I consider myself a 3 on the 1-10 scale).

Also... I recently (6 days ago) moved from a small town where I got my M.S. degree (in math) this May to a larger town with a very large university to start work on my Ph.D. degree (also in math). This university is over 60% female, and the girls here are much more attractive (beautiful) than anywhere else I have lived. Thus I'm noticing my anxiety/depression much more often than I ever have, and I know it will get worse when classes start.

more details...

Finally, I want to emphasize that my anxiety/depression happens only when I see attractive young females; not when I see unattractive young females, or older females (attractive or not), and definitely not when I see males.

In response to a reply to my first post:
> Not really. It's about being content and
> comfortable with who you are.

I definitely do not feel content or comfortable with my looks.

> Your details don't supply enough
> information...

I never know what details are pertinent... sorry. I hope what I'm adding here helps a little.

> if you're a guy and the sight of females
> makes you anxious/depressed... I think
> that may be excitement or the thought
> that they are unattainable.

I agree; definitely on the excitement, but I would replace "thought that they are unattainable" with "fact that...".

Answer 1

Heterophobia- Fear of the opposite sex. (Sexophobia)

Good luck on getting past this. you sound like a very nice and educated man. also remember, there are those of us who are not attracted to skinny men. as far as women not being attainable, thats not true. there are beautiful women who are just as phobic about the opposite sex as you are because they have had bad experiences. we all have our problems, no one is immune to that. just be yourself and smile. you never know who is falling in love with your smile.

Answer 2

I'm going to spend 10 minutes writing this to you so I hope you take it seriously. I'm assuming that you want to have a girl friend, and maybe even marry. Well, my friend, no one looks at a book if the cover is shabby, and being overweight is shabby. Women (except also very fat women) don't find fat attractive. What do do?
First, get on a diet -- see a specialist, and stick to it. Hit the gym at least 3 times per week. Change that fat to muscle.. If you do not have a killer smile see the best cosmetic dentist in your area. If your skin in a mess, see a derm. Be prepared to spend some buckos on yourself. Have someone help you find some great looking clothes when you reach your weight target. Then have a great set of photos taken, and put up some ads on Yahoo Personals, Match.com and a few of the other dating sights. (Google dating sites) No one will look if the cover isn't nice. Your'e a bright guy, obviously, if you majoris math. and women of quality like that (I'm assuming you aren't interested in a bimbo for a life companion). That's how people meet in the modern life of the US.

Answer 3

Because you've been "out of the saddle" for a while the reason you feel these things are all nerves. You are nervous. Regardless of whether they are attractive or not (have you ever been attracted to a person you considered ugly?), you feel that you would be rejected if you approached them, therefore you get depressed and anxious at being around them. The only advice I could give you is to seek some counseling to get your confidence up, and maybe start going to a gym. Get your endorphins pumping and get out there and try! We cannot expect things to change spontaneously, we must assert ourselves to make the change occur. Good luck and Blessed Be. V-

Answer 4

So I am guessing that you get this anxiety associated with the type of women you would like to have sex with. First calm down. I am sure you are more than a "3". Women are less attracted to physical atttributes than they are to personality, so try and develop more self esteem and an outgoing attitude. Also you might want to slim down a bit, try low carb it works well. Take a deep breath, anxiety solves nothing.

Answer 5

Nihilism is the perception that each and every person values are baseless and that no longer something would be nicely-known or communicated. that's generally linked with intense pessimism and an intensive skepticism that condemns life. a real nihilist could have faith in no longer something, have not have been given any loyalties, and no purpose different than, in line with possibility, an impulse to wreck. that's a situation-free and misguided false impression that the German certainty seeker Friedrich Nietzsche replaced right into a nihilist. Nietzsche replaced into in contact in regards to the outcomes of nihilism on society and subculture, no longer because of the fact he endorsed nihilism. Nietzsche felt its outcomes could at last wreck all ethical, non secular, and metaphysical convictions and precipitate in a super human disaster. Nietzsche writes that for the time of nihilism there is not any purpose order or shape contained in the international different than what we offer it. by utilising the tip of the century, existential melancholy as a reaction to nihilism gave thank you to an strategies-set of indifference, generally linked with antifoundationalism.

Answer 6

Dude. It sounds like you have some serious self-esteem issues! It also sounds like you may have a form of social anxiety disorder.

If you haven't gotten any in eight years, I'd be willing to bet that you are too unsure of yourself to approach a pretty girl. That's okay, though. Go to the gym if you want to shape up so that you can boost your confidence.

After a few bad relationships, I didn't want to talk to nice-looking guys because I was afraid that they would laugh at me... After I start working out (and taking meds), it didn't bother me, anymore.

Sounds like MOST of your issues are self-esteem related. Try to take better care of yourself.

Answer 7

well start off on a dieting and exercize routine to work on curnb you outward apperence. if you are up for that challenge. another thing is to try to be socialbe say hello to everyone you see. you are putting a lot of pressure on youself more than you have to the worse possible scenario is that they ignore you or if you ask one out they say no. Make youself aprat of the community and you find everyone has these anxieties and the only way is to face and make something of yourself and not let fear beat ya down.

Answer 8

alright dood, I've seen this before. and i can definitely tell by your post your disease: lack of confidence.

any guy can get any girl if he has confidence. period.

now, how to get confidence? maybe work out...start running (that's how i got my swagger), stop thinking of females as unattainable - because that makes it true. all you have to do is relax and talk the way you do around people you're comfortable with. pretty girls are just normal people who you happen to think are pretty. that's it.

Answer 9

to me it sounds like a case of low self asteem if you want you could talk to your doc about something for anxiety there also may be some social phobia involved

Answer 10

It might be just frustration due to loneliness and insecurity. Look for average chubby girls and that might help you out.