How can I get my mom to understand that I don't want to do what she wants me to do?

Question

Well, last year my mom "temporarily" took my out of gymnastics to sign me up for piano lessons. She always wanted me to play an instrument and we finally got a piano, well, she promised me that next year if I didn't want to take piano anymore I could take gymnastics. Well, this year she told me that she was tired of gymnastics and she told me I wasn't going to go to the Olympics or anything so there was no point. Then, she told me that she wanted to sign me up for dance. Well, I sulked for two days because my mom always taught me that breaking promises was wrong and that promises are something that you should keep. So, finally I told her that I would take dance, and she asked me what class I wanted to take, and I said I wanted to take ballet and tap like I used to, I took dance for five years before I started tennis, my dad's friend is a tennis player so he taught my sister and I, and gymnastics. Then, she told me no, she said she was tired of ballet and that I was never going to (c)

a ballerina and that I could possibly be a great modern dancer. She told me that ballet wouldn't be good excercise and neither would tap and that i should do modern and hip-hop because that's what girls my age are doing, but I don't like hip-hop at all I don't really like the music either, and I don't want to do modern. I want to do ballet. What should I do? She's really stubborn about this. How can I explain to her better that I don't want to. I told her in an adult way that I didn't want, too, but she said it wasn't my decision. Is there anything I can do?

Yes, my dad is around, and he is the person who got me to take gymnastics and tennis because my mom wanted me to take karate. Now, when I ask my dad for help he says that he agrees with my mom and that she's the one in control of my afterschool activities.

Answer 1

I'm tired of seeing all of these responses telling you to do what your mom tells you to do, despite how you feel. She may be your mother, but she sounds like a tyrant to me! Chances are she means well, but in her stubbornness to do what is "right," she's actually hurting you. What I don't understand is why you have to be in a new activity each year. Why can't you pick something and stick to it?

Normally, my advice would be to sit down with your mother and talk to her about all of the things that she wants for you and all of the things you want for yourself, however, it appears that it will likely go nowhere. Still, the only way you'll ever have a chance to do something that you like is to talk to her. What I would recommend is to approach her with a compromise. Tell her, that you will do one thing that she wants you to do if she allows you to do one thing that you want to do. So if she wants you to take hip-hop, then she has to let you take ballet. Make sure to let her know that you will stay in your activity until YOU decide when you're finished, but she can make the decision with the activity that she picks. If you can't get YOUR way completely, then she shouldn't get her way completely either. Perhaps it will help make both of you happy.

Good luck!

Answer 2

First Nice Question .. An Honest Question :D :)
Well The Best Thing is To Go to Your Mom And tell Her Can I Have an Honest Talk With You ? ...Ofcourse She Will Say Yes
Tell Her i Want to Play Gymnastics.. i Want to Do What i Want ...
Please Can i Just Do What i Like For Once .. And Tell Her That Every Year She Wants You To Do Something Without Asking if You Like it Or Not ..
And Tell Her That She Always Says Shes Tired of Ballet , Gymnastics But Shes Not the One Who Plays it ..
And Tell Her i Am Big Enough to Do What i Want and What i Like ..
Good Luck .. Thanks For Asking ..
:D :)

Answer 3

Your mother and grandmother sound like they think the one "right" method to think in god is to wait church offerings each sunday. To them, something much less is to be an unbeliever. I believe you will have to take a look at no less than another time to provide an explanation for your emotions to them. That you're totally religious and feature your possess individual dating with god and the well ebook. That you don't have got to discuss with him at his dwelling so typically, in view that he's already right here with you. If they nonetheless cannot realize, then they usually on no account will, no less than now not through your possess phrases. In that case, I'd recommend simply residing with their feedback so long as you'll till you'll transfer out and are living through your possess regulations.

Answer 4

Wow! Is your dad around? If he is, can you talk to him about this and he can talk to your mom? Doesn't sound like she's listening. If not, do you have an aunt, grandmother,uncle, pastor, priest, anyone who will listen to you and try to intervene on your behalf? It sounds like your mom is more interested in having you do what she would have liked to do herself, rather than have you do what you're interested in. Some parents like to live vicariously through their children. She's not the one doing the gymnastics or ballet, so how could she possibly be tired of it? It really doesn't matter if you're going to be "great" at it. It gives you something constructive to do that's good for you and that you enjoy. The key word here being "YOU" enjoy. I think you need to find another adult who'll go to bat for you with you mother.

Answer 5

Humm.... As a parent , she should encourage you to be active. But as the person doing the activities, you should have some kind of say so in what you particpate in. I have learned along the road of parenthood that your children will exell if they enjoy what they are doing, instead of being forced to do something they really don't like... it sounds like your mother is trying to "live " through you , meaning she wants you to do the things she wanted for herself at your age. Please don't take that wrong, I don't mean anything negative about saying that. I guess my point is this: calmly explain to your mother that if you are going to do these activities that you would rather do something that you enjoy. Maybe she will come around ....Good luck! PS: Kudos to you ...You sound like you respect your parents

Answer 6

Your question was really long. I looked for your age but couldn't find it. Ask her if you can take gymnastics if you get there yourself. Sit down with her and let her know that if she wants to learn an instrument it's never too late. Parents like to live vicariously through there children. I did it, then finally realized it was hurting my kids and wised up.

Answer 7

That's tough. She is your mom, however you should be able to have some say in what you do. If your unhappy with what she puts you in, then she's pretty much wasting her money as I don't see you actually participating in the activity. The only thing you can do is keep trying. Possibly talk to your dad about it and see if he'll talk to her. Unfortunately though, there isn't any easy way to get your mom to go with what you want to do.

Answer 8

My opinion is that she may be trying to live "through you," by wanting you to be involved in activities she likes but wasn't as good at as she'd wanted to be.

I would explain to her that you just aren't happy doing certain things you really don't want to do, and tell her what you do want to do.

It isn't fair or right for her to push you into things, then change her mind constantly. Can you talk to another close family member about this? Your mom sounds like she has decision-making issues that are affecting you negatively.

Answer 9

Your mum sounds a bit controlling, perhaps if your mum dosen't listen to you when you talk you could write a letter to her explaining how you feel. She shouldn't be alowed to force you into doing stuff you don't want to do so don't give in to what she says if you want to do something else. Good luck!

You should probably show her all the answers you got or atleast some of them, that could help, :)

Answer 10

I'm not sure how old you are but I used to have that problem too. Try to respect your mom. I was always mad at my mom, then I realized once I was gone how much she cared. I get along really great with my mom now and talk to her almost every day.