probs with bridesmaid?

Question

i am getting married in dec. well my fiance proposed to me last october and soon after (still in oct) i asked one of my friends to be a bridesmaid. she said she would love to be and was excited about it. i told her i had the bridesmaid dresses picked out and told her the place and price. i told her she could go get fitted anytime and start making payments on the dress if she couldnt pay for it all at once. (i picked out a least expensive dress so it wouldnt be a burden on anyone) it was only like $120. I told her she could start sending payments in when she got fitted if needed because she would have 14 months to pay for it. she said that was no problem and she would just go ahead and get fitted and pay for it all at once. i said that is fine. i got a call about 3 weeks ago from the bridal shop and was told that my bridesmaid dress was going to be discontinued and i only had 2 weeks to get my bridesmaids in to be fitted ot else they could no longer order the dresses. all of my

bridesmaids went except for this one girl. i reminded her everyday and even asked to make sure she still wanted to be in it and she assured me everyday that she wanted to be there and she was going to get fitted! well the last day came around to get fitted and order the dresses. it had to be done by 5:00. she messaged me online at 2:00 that day and said she would not be in the wedding because she only had $1.25 in her bank account! but then the next day she went to the beach for 3 days, came back the next week and messaged me everyday to tell me she was going out for lunch at these nice places, and then she threw a party at her place and paid for all the alcohol. she has been going out to eat everyday and night and telling me all about it! this makes me mad because she told me she had no money and couldnt be in the wedding - then she waited 3 hrs before the deadline to tell me and i had to find someone else in 3hrs to get fittted! should i still invite herto the wedding?

Answer 1

I won't invite her because that's not a real friend...... she should have told you up front right away that she didn't want to be in the wedding or she didn't have the money.
I won't want to invite her... besides she prob doesn't have any money to buy you a wedding gift either!!! LOL
Just forget her... you don't need people like that in your life!

Answer 2

I guess what you have to do is figure out how important her friendship is to you. Further down the road, when the wedding is over and you have settled down in your new life, will you get over being mad and want her around? If the answer to that question is yes, then you may want to invite her, but if you do consider inviting her I'd take the time to talk to her and tell her how you feel. I'd do it tactfully and not in anger. But I'd definitely want to deal with this before the wedding so that the sight of her at your wedding won't make you feel angry. You don't want any unpleasant feelings spoiling your happy day.

If you think that you really have had it with her and won't be wanting her in your life anymore then I wouldn't invite her. If she asks you later why she wasn't invited I'd answer her truthfully, but tactfully. She needs to see how her behavior affects her relationships with others. She could just be self involved and totally clueless. However you decide to handle this situation, as long as you stay even tempered you will come out on top, looking like a mature, self controlled young woman.

Answer 3

she is not a good friend but just invite her for her to see that your wedding will still come on with or without her active indulgence.it seems she is jealous why else would she do such a thing and then tell you what she's doing,i couldnt believe the amount of money she said she was left with and soon after she started partying,she is not a good friend,i wonder if she'll honour your invitation but invite her and let her make the mistake of coming and i'm sure she will regret her actions but beware of her.she has evil in her.

Answer 4

She obviously bought her time....and made up excuses until the last minute. She never intended to be part of your wedding party.....that's why she waited so long to finally tell you. And the worse part is the rubbing in the face of her outings and stuff involving money. I hope you see things as they are.....You don't need unreliable people like that around you. If I were you I wouldn't even bother with an invitation for her, unless of course she's close family!

Answer 5

Nope! Seriously, she screwed you big time. You considered her someone who you trusted and confided in enough to be a bridesmaid to you and she lied right to your face. I wouldn't be royaly pissed with her and not only not invite her to the wedding.. but not invite her into your friendship either. People like this make my blood boil. You think they are a good friend and you really try to be a good friend to them and they throw your friendship to the dust at the drop of a hat. Sure forgive and forget.. don't hold any grudges.. but make sure she knows that she's NOT very up on your friend's list anymore.

Answer 6

Really sorry to read about your situation. It sounds like she is jealous of u! That's the reason she wants to delay the time and make sure that your plans does not turn out well. Do invite her to your wedding and make sure u stay far from her in future. Just treat it as a lesson learned.

Answer 7

First off I'm sorry to hear about what she did to you.I would tell her that she is no longer you're bridesmaid.Because of what she has done.Because she just plain lied to to you when she said that she only had $1.25 in her account. and yet she was able to take a nice three day trip to some place. and yet she can go out to lunch in all these nice places.That tells me that she's really not you're friend to begin with if she'd able to do all of that.and not pay for her bridesmaid dress.good luck and once again I'm sorry to hear about what she did to you.

Answer 8

As far as I am concerned, she is definitely not a true friend- -true friends don't lie to you and stab you in the back. Planning a wedding is stressful enough without all this drama. Just focus on you and your hubby to be and enjoy the day - WITHOUT her there!

Answer 9

Whether your anger and disappointment are justified or not is irrelevant. If you have greivances with people, you deal it by talking to them in private. It would 'cheapen' your wedding to use the guest list as a way to publicly air personal greivances.

Answer 10

I dont know that sounds like a pretty crapy friend you got there.
One of my bridesmaids was that same way....
She never paid for her dress.but now there is nothing I can do about it.