I had a close relationship with my former best guy friend. We would lay in bed and talk during the night about everything. We tried taking it a step further once, but then decided it was better to be friends. Early into my relationship with my current boyfriend, I would still lay and talk with my best guy friend. My boyfriend came into the room once and saw us laying together, and then recently got upset over the fact that I didn't tell him about a few other times I layed in bed and talked with my guy friend over spring break. I broke his trust by laying with my friend, and then i broke it again by keeping the full truth from him, but now he has threatened to break up with me if I so much as have a drink in the same room as another boy or talk to my friend or any guys I had relationships with in the past (even if they were just friends). He says that this will change once I gain his trust back, but should I believe it? Is this all because I screwed up, or is he just too controlling?
2006-08-08 02:52:56 · 14 answers · asked by bubabe_08 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Mr. Chivalry says, "While it's true that it looks bad that you were lying in bed with another guy, the guy was a friend that you have known for a while. I'm assuming that you were friends with him before the boyfriend came in the picture. Although the boyfriend has no right to tell you not to be friends with the guy, it is your responsibility to let the boyfriend know that he is the one with whom you are seeking a relationship. Any instances or funny-looking situations can instantly turn off a partner. Be careful of your actions, from this point on, because trust is a hard thing to regain, trust me. "
Mr. Chivalry has spoken.
2006-08-08 04:18:43 · answer #1 · answered by L Jeezy 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Guys are usually threatened by former boyfriends. This is not a trust issue. This is an insecurity issue on his part. Also, this is not about who is at fault. This is about talking and discussing your feelings of wanting to be able to have good relationships with your past friends. This will also help him understand that you plan on having a good relationship with him, if things dont lead to committed partnership or marrige.
2006-08-08 10:04:18 · answer #2 · answered by mommas 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are laying in bed with another guy talking til all hours of the night, that can be more intimate than actual sex. Why isn't it your boyfriend that you are sharing your deepest conversations with? Something tells me there is a deeper interest in your "friend" if you feel the need to be this close with him despite your boyfriend. I understand your boyfriend's point of view and wouldn't like it a bit if it were my boyfriend laying in bed with another girl!!
2006-08-08 10:00:55 · answer #3 · answered by junebug 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it is partially your fault... I mean sure you can lay in bed and talk to your friend but you should have told your bf that. I mean I would get pretty pissed off too if I saw my girl laying in bed chatting with some guy I didn't know.
Apoligize and hope thats enough.
2006-08-08 09:58:42 · answer #4 · answered by R man 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's jealousy, plain and simple. Once you explained that you two were simply talking then your current boyfriend should have trusted your word then, not issued ultimatums.Unless you want to live a life of hell tell him to hit the road.
2006-08-08 09:59:27 · answer #5 · answered by Diana C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ummm, yeah it's innappropriate for you to lay in bed with another guy - even if you don't do anything. You can be friends with a guy, just chit chat on the sofa or at the table. I really don't blame your boyfriend for being upset.
2006-08-08 09:57:04 · answer #6 · answered by acholtz@verizon.net 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
ok think about this - reverse the role - your boyfriend has a chicka that he almost had a relationship with, but they didnt and are very close friends - he often likes to lay in bed with his best chicka friend & "chitty chat" - how would you feel about this?
2006-08-08 10:00:04 · answer #7 · answered by oz_gurl2005 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be that someone cheated on him before and he's just being cautious. You should have told him about this stuff but the damage is done now so you'll just have to earn his trust or move on.
2006-08-08 09:58:49 · answer #8 · answered by DialM4Speed 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ditch him honey in this modern world where women do make a lot of the decisions, don't go backwards. tell the jerk to get over his insecurities and be with you or you're gonna move on.
This guy friend was in the picture way b4 him, don't let his controlling bullcrap ruin that.
2006-08-08 09:57:49 · answer #9 · answered by jelli_bean_36 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ask yourself why you didn't tell him about this friendly visit? If you wouldnt want your boyfriend to hear/see something then you know it's wrong. Also you might never gain that trust back so you have to decide if he's worth it
2006-08-08 09:57:27 · answer #10 · answered by scarlet_bat 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋