i have a question for mothers?

Question

ok...bad situation. my child's father is an alcoholic, deals and does drugs since we split, and he beats his other child (beyond just disaplin) neither of us have custody, he has no visitation. doesn't bother with the child cause he says the baby is too young,,, my problem, i don't want him to get visitaion cause i fear for my child. i am thinking of leaving state to avoid the whole visitation thing. i am married now and my child sees my husband as "daddy". on a legal stand point, is there anything the biological father can do? to either stop me from leaving or possibly make me come back to our home state.

Answer 1

With out going into a long detailed letter,i suggest that you consult an attorney.That way you know all of you options,what is legal and what is not.Good luck to you.

Answer 2

Despite what that other person said, he can control where you live. He can petition the court to place a restriction on you so that you can't move out of reasonable distance.

On the other hand, see legal aid and have them draw up a custody order. Granting you full custody and with restrictions for visitation. Legal Aid WILL help you with this. Please remember that if there is NO custody order.. he can do anything he wants. He could "kidnap" the baby.. and you couldn't do anything.. NOT without a custody order. It's called Parental Interference.. and you can't do much about that if he still has rights to custody.

It's all in a custody order. Get one, and you're safe.

Answer 3

Biological father's have priority in any state. You need to prove him "unfit as a father." If he has any police records or convictions this is a place to start. You have to make a sound case against him. The man your child calls "daddy", has no repercussion at all. As far as moving out of state, if the divorce papers states that you can't, then you would be in contempt. If they say nothing about where the child is to live, then you have legal grounds to move on. Its the law that he has a address where ever the child is. Seek legal council, that is your best card to play. I hope the best outcome for you and your child.

Answer 4

If he's on the birthcertificate he can take your child and ou cant do nothing,unless you get a protective order wich can allow supervised visitation or none at all for at least 6 months.Once you go to court for the protective order tell the judge you want custidy and show proof of him being an acaholic.Explain to the judge how he acts towards his other child.But in order to get a protective order you have to say hes threatend you and that your scared for your life and your childs life.
I dont think he can stop you from leaving.Just dont tell him your going and he wont know.By the time he does you'll be settled down .
Another way to keep your child is go to the welfare office and file for child support,that will give you more rights to the child ,ecspecially if he doesnt pay.

Answer 5

Why would you let this man control where you live? In the state I live in the custody is with the mother unless the court says otherwise. Here visitation would be up to you until it goes to court. What judge would let him see your child?
You should be able to move with no problems, but always best to talk with an attorney.
Why have you not turned him in for abuse? If you turn him in it will help you get what you want, but more important it will save his other children. Do the right thing and protect those kids before you runaway.

Answer 6

Never avoid a problem it will not go away...it will worsen sooner or later....If he is that self centered then he most likely he won't even miss your child...sorry…
but this has been my experience with working this type of person...
Get a good attorney/Yourself a Support System going...maybe a women’s shelter can help direct you in the right direction. clean up your act too. You can try to get your child back("neither of us have custody")
Just in case he see the child as a money/drug opportunity...if you/lawyer/courts can prove what you have clamed is happening happened then you might be able to get him to sign away his rights forever, So he doesn't have to pay child support and once your out of this bad sitution then the child could be reunited with you and adopted now/later by a real father.
You need to do it legal so you have the power of the benefit of doubt he could always say you are stealing the child but if you do it right you should be able to make a fresh start...
Many women do…many get their children back...in many state this what the gov want to reunite children w goodparents. get away now while the child is young don't subject yourself or your child to that atmosphere. You can do it! It’ll seem over whelming at times but staying in that culture you will be always putting out fires and trying to save your child and will cost you every thing in the long run your child is the most valueable asset you will very have invest in yourself and her/him now...

Answer 7

Yeh..If it's all taken to court ( i don't know if you've already been to court) then in some states..like my state you have to stay within like 150miles and allow visitation. If you want to move..do it as soon as possible..some places it's like 6 months before you become a resident of that state. Otherwise, you can go to court, ask the courts to give you and the child the opportunity to move to where you want to be. Or when you take him to court, have proof that he is an unfit father, abusive to children. I know how you feel...I've thought about divorce but won't because my husbands son from previous marriage is mean to the babies and it would kill me for my husband to have visitation and he have that son around them without me there to make sure they are ok. I've looked into the moving many miles away just for the kids sake. I hope things work out for you..Good Luck!

Answer 8

Since there hasn't been any legal things done, you can leave the state, anytime. and also, if you are worried he will take you to court for custody, i wouldn't worry, if you can prove he is a alkie/druggie. then no problem, but, you need the proof to give to the judge, not hearsay. true evidence...and if you have the knowledge of him beating another child, and have done nothing about it, like calling ur local D.H.S. or police dept. then ur guilty also. do the right thing if he's doing this, and get his butt in jail. just make sure it's the truth, or it will come back on you...goodluck and God Bless...p.s....he can always later sumon u back to the courts for custody, but only if he is fit. all must be proven.

Answer 9

The court CAN control where you live, if the father fights you in court. they can make you stay in the state unless you want to give up the child. Our neighbor has custody of two children the spouse had to give them in order to leave the state! My advice is to get a good attorney!
who knows? maybe he will give up all rights to the child and be out of your hair forever!

Answer 10

Check your state's laws. I know in Ohio if you weren't married at the time of the birth and there isn't a DNA test to PROVE he is the father he has NO RIGHTS! You can go whereever you want and he can't stop you. You might also check into haveing your husband adopt your child. If the father isn't willing to have anything to do with him/her then that maybe the best option.

Answer 11

I have been in this situation. If your son was born in the state the father is then yes if he decides to want to see the baby he can take you to court and get custody for you leaving the state. You need to talk to a lawyer before doing anything. [e-mail] if you have anymore questions.