Why do people fall in love with a person for who they are. Then try to change them?

Question

Then they will not be the person they fell in love with.

Answer 1

You're exactly right. I've had that happen to me... guys liked my on the go lifestyle until things got serious then wanted to change me. I tried it for a time but in the end, I was miserable and that's when the trouble started. I've seen it in reverse too where the guy I was interested in had all these interests and hobbies until things got serious and he quit them all and became a tag along which in turn, became a nuisance.

Answer 2

More often then not, women will try to change a man to suit them. That isn't possible. Most women find that out at a young age...some don't do it at all. However, on the chance that this happened to you, tell her to hit the road. You can't lose who you are to a relationship simply because the other person wants you to change. It will only cause you more trouble once the relationship is over. It's hard enough dealing with a broken heart... but having to deal with a broken heart and a finding yourself again at the same time is much more difficult. If you are involved in a relationship like that, you need to sit her down and tell her what's going on. If she does'nt see it.. leave.

Answer 3

Not to sound too sexist, but that seems to be a big trait with women. It's the whole reason that women fall for the "bad boys". It's not because they like the bad boys for the way they act, but that they think that they might be that "special woman" who will make them change their ways. After some-odd years of marriage it may finally dawn on some of these women that they were sadly mistaken. Then again there are those extremely rare few that might actually bring about a real change.
So here's to love and whatever destiny may bring...

Answer 4

I think people fall in lust first and the love comes later.
Be careful that you don't use the whole "This is me and I not changing" thing as an excuse to have a lazy relationship. I've used it and it does not work. They take work and a little sacrifice to make into something great.
However if you feel that you are being pushed to far there is a problem and you should not sacrifice your personality for anyone.

Answer 5

People fall in love with the state the person is in, we accept things like that, but when the relationship gets more serious naturally things got to change , maturity is the word, not by any means change everything maybe just one.

Answer 6

I think some people don't so much as fall in love with the person but what they see as what the person can potentially be then immediately set about trying to mold them into that person.

Answer 7

coz when u first fall in love u are not thinking logically its only when u have spent a long time with one person u see there bad sides more etc plus as u grow together u mature differently so something that once turned u on about ur partner could now really annoy u x x

Answer 8

Could this be an illusion? We fall in love with an IMAGE of a person, not necessarily the person inside.

As we discover the truth, we try to make the person conform to our mistaken image.

This is called "Cognitive Dissonance" in Psychology--
when we realize that the truth is not exactly stuffed inside our own minds.

Answer 9

I think you are right on target. Because everybody has flaws, the other person wants the person they fell in love with to be the same, but without the flaws.

Answer 10

Immaturity. And it has nothing to do with women, as men try to change women too!

You should never try to change anyone. If you don't love them for who they are, then this is not the person for you.