Surely your relationship is not specail if you need to be married...?

Question

Why get married to stay together... does the need for it show the relationship is wrong?
Why get married other then the party?

There was a saying that goes like this..

If you love a bird set it free,
if it comes back of its free will it loves you,

if it flies away it was never supposed to be with you...

Its not the marraige that keeps you together


Its the emotional bond and how you develop. Ie you may love each other but lives take different paths or you end up seeking different needs possibly around kids etc...

But mostly why should you need a piece of paper, ceremoney, promise to dieties etc...


Surely if you really love each other and are compatable thats all you need?

If marriage is such a vow and commitment... Why is the divorce rate so high, with all the marring for cash or as parents made you do it etc?

With all the wife beating and splitting up with legal fights over the cats?

Answer 1

Yeah, but there is also the law, and married people get certain benefits that non-marrieds might not get. Sort of related to the whole gay-marriage debate. No other species goes through the ritual the way we do...we make such a huge deal out of such a basic function of existence.

Answer 2

Your question suggests your youth and niavety. Juvenile relationships are all about the heat and passion. But there is no "fire"... emotional or physical that can burn that hot forever. Eventually the flames die back to a nice warm glow. The emotional bond is what brings you together in a relationship, but the "commitment" you make to each other is what keeps you together. The emotional side of a marriage is tempered with time, but the commitment runs deep. Whether the commitment needs to be a piece of paper or not, I guess depends on whether there is any possiblity of kids. But a formal commitment is important if you want the relationship to be anything more than just an easy way to get laid when you want it.

Edit: Infodude, I read your later comment about divorce rates. Actually, the perception that there is a general rising divorce rate in America is a bit misleading. There is a rising divorce rate among certain groups, but not across the board. Blacks, for instance, have a substantially higher divorce rate than the population as a whole...so high in fact that it actually skews the data for the general population, if you don't break it down.

Of course, the divorce rate among Blacks is definitely a bad thing, but it is not a systemic thing.

Answer 3

I have a friend that agreed with this, but after having 2 kids and going through the confusion of my mommy isn't married to my daddy they got married.
My personal beliefs, which I am not trying to push on you, is that you should not have premarital sex.
Also, by tying the knot you have a legal contract, yes that can be broken, but it is a lot harder than just deciding you don't want to be there and walking out.
Here is another question... and I'd really like an answer so feel free to email me....
If you are really that devoted why not get married. What benefits is there to living married and not getting that piece of paper?

Answer 4

Me and my hub were together for 10 years and v happy with our life but didn't feel we were getting the respect from other people that we were serious about each other. We went away and got married as really the event was more about our committment to each other but now feel happier that we have made public vows together. We both feel more committed to each other which we didn't expect would happen, so it is another stage in our relationship with each other. It may only be a piece of paper but we both believe it to be important, so for us it will remain important. If you don't believe in it, don't do it as it won't do you any good, but if you do think it is important, it can be a lovely thing to share together and it has now shut up a lot of people who kept banging on about us being just boyfriend and girlfriend so that's a good thing in my book.

Answer 5

If you are really in love, then why would you resist marriage?

First of all, the sexual relationship belongs only in marriage. Hebrews 13:4 Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.

Marriage is a pledge between partners for their protection. If there is nothing tying people together, why would there be any delay in forming another relationship? There are times when marriage is difficult; if there is no reason not to leave, people will leave, but if there is a life-long commitment, they at least have a reason to try to make things work.

I heard of a couple who went through a ceremony, pledging to remain together "as long as we both shall love." Somebody suggested giving paper plates as a wedding gift.

Answer 6

I see your point, and I am almost in agreement, with one exception.
If you don't get married, your children will be, technically, illegal. Meaning, born out of wedlock. And, having come from a family of divorced parents, I can tell you that it's really not pleasant for the children. Kids tend to pick on any difference between the group and the individual, and so, any stress I can save my kids, I will - and so, for their sake, I think getting married is worthwhile.

Otherwise, if kids are not going to happen... easier without the marriage, definitely.

Answer 7

Well thats similar to saying ' yes i can drive, why do i need to make it legal?'.

Marriage is a form of true love and commitment to one another, its not a case that you shouldnt need a piece of paper, its about binding the love to each other aswell as delaring it to close family and friends.

If people wish not to get married then thats ok, but if they do Good Luck!

The actual concept of marriage i believe has slowely faded. Marriage is a life time commitment to one another.

Answer 8

In theory I think you are right; however in real life people crave the stability of marriage. Especially when children are involved it is important that there be this bond that hold two people together when things are difficult. Plus, there are all the practical benefits such as health insurance, legal rights, tax breaks, etc, that encourage marriage.

Answer 9

I agree with you to an extent. Its not marriage that keeps two people together - look at the divorce rates in the country !

I am married and I didnt marry because me or him 'needed to' but simply because we wanted to.... its lovely....

marriage brings along some beautiful things that living together doesnt always for everyone.

i love being married to the man I love.... its just the 'next step' in a relationship...

Answer 10

spoil off the affair on the instantaneous. What you and this 'married guy' are doing is thoroughly incorrect. If what he says is actual, and he's in straightforward words inclusive of his spouse for 'monetary causes' then he could haven't any difficulty bringing you to the abode to fulfill his spouse. he's mendacity. Delete his huge style, block his e-mail. tell him that's over, yet no longer in man or woman. do not provide him the prospect to target to make you stay. Do it over the phone, in a letter, or e-mail. After that, ignore about him. As for the inmate you're chasing after... be careful with that. From what you've written, that's particularly clean that you do not have the suited style in men.