My ex of 4 yrs cheated on me. How can I stop figuring out ways to contact him? How can I let him go?

Question

He eventually wants to get back together and it could maybe work someday because I think it was a one time thing but I need to get away from him now and I cant get control!!

Answer 1

hit him with a pan, but you might be arrested

Answer 2

Something To Ponder :

Somebody once told me that "Finding the right person is
very hard and very wrong.....it is best to be the right
person for the one you love and start from there...
you'll always end up disappointed when you set standards
and define a "right person" for you...and don't rush
things....coz somewhere somehow God is preparing somebody
for you."

You can never be perfect...the person you love can never
be perfect...but both of you can be perfect through love
and prayers, and your love can be perfect through the both
if you. But, no relationship is complete without God.....
that's why we have marriage..it's a bond not only between
you and your loved one....but also with God.

Our relationships fail not because (s)he's not the right
person....it's because we expected too much and we decided
on our own....let God do the work...you may call it waiting
time....but while you are waiting...pray. Let God guide you
always...He knows better. No, He knows best.

Love is not what you think it is.... Sometimes we mistakenly
feel that our first relationship will be our last. Because
we are overwhelmed with joy and romance, we forget to learn
the meaning of true love. Some are saying that love is
unselfish, blind, unconditional or simply denying oneself for
the sake of someone very important in our life. Others are
saying love is immortal and can never be defined. When we
think we're in love the first thing we almost wanted the whole
world to know is that our love for someone very special can
never be taken away from us. We say this phrase "You are the
most wonderful gift from GOD I have ever received..." After a
terrible fight or sometimes even a petty quarrel we then say
"You are the biggest mistake i've ever made for my entire
life...!!!!". Now, how do you say and spell the word L-O-V-E?
Are you really deeply into it?.

Nobody can tell what love really is until experience speaks and
whispers right into our ears. Most of the time, these love
promises like "Forever, Till Death do us apart, etc." would end
up "Never" and "We should part ways, I'm no longer happy with
you! My love for you is DEAD!!!". Many times we thought after
having committed to someone and your trust to one another freezes
down to zero degree "S/He ain't the right one. I should probably
wait for the right one to come." But the big question anyone could
not answer is "Is she/he the right one?" and "When is the right
time?" That made us stick to whom we are with. Will you always be
waiting for the right person to come and the right time to commit?
A big YES is the answer. Don't be in a hurry to get into a
relationship because you can never find love if you insist that
you are already into it. Try to find time to really understand your
real feelings, to know who you really are, and what you really want
in a relationship. You're right, There is no such thing as a perfect
relationship, but there's a compatible partnership that goes along
with it. If you already knew that you're too big to fit into a small
sized t-shirt, don't give it a try. You'll probably break it and
pay for the damages you have made. If you knew and felt that the
relationship will not last, don't go deeper into it. You'll just
suffer the consequences and live like hell the rest of your life.
It's really hard to say goodbye though, but you can't make it any
better by just pretending you still have the same feelings. Try to
let go and give yourself a chance to live life to the fullest. Give
yourself a chance to grow and give your heart a much needed attention.
Then you will find that you have made the right decision and you made
it all by yourself. More frequently than not, we all act in a
hypocritical manner for some reason.

We call it love when we can't leave someone and see them crying as we
try to let go. We are wrong, its just pity. We call it love when we're
too attached and think that losing the one we love will somehow make us
weak and unable to face the storms of life. We misunderstood, its just
that we're too much dependent to them. We call it love when we give
our whole life to them, the wholeness of us and imagined that if they
leave no one would accept us and our past. We are mistaken, its just
insecurity. But no matter what the definition is, the truth still
remains that love isn't something you can buy nor beg. It is real and
existing. You can't touch it but you can feel it in your heart. You can't
find it, but it will knock before you when you least expect it to come.
it can make you the happiest soul in heaven, but don't forget that it
also can make you the most miserable person in the whole galaxy.

Answer 3

You need counseling.........You don't value your self worth.......All the thinking you are doing is an illusion.......Stop it......."Cheated on me", "need to figure out ways to contact him", "How can I let him go", "It can maybe work someday", "I think it was a one time thing", "I need to get away from him" and "I can't get control"

You are obsessed! Look at all that you wrote, it's so disfunctional! Get help, he will only kick you out to the curb again with all the chaos you bring into the relationship.

Answer 4

I totally agree with tigerkitty...once a cheater always a cheater...don't let him back into your life, be strong stand your ground...make a list of things that you never really liked about the guy and focus on the negative....he has hurt you once take back control by getting out of there...you will be just fine I promise.

Answer 5

You must realise that this guy will always hurt you if you let him back into your heart. You have a life without him, so like me just put it all down to experience and move away from those that cause you hurt, make no time for them. A strong woman is a confident woman x

Answer 6

As an initial step you should get out of the dependency and the continuous thoughts of this person. For that one of the best ways is to make yourself continuously occupied.

Keeping continuously occupied can be done by involving yourself in the best hobby you have.

Eventually your subconscious mind should take over you completely.

Hope this helps.

Answer 7

These sort of questions always make me wanna vomit.! He freakin cheated on you! He poked his pecker in someone else while committed to you! Once a cheater always a cheater! Stay away from him. It was his mistake in the 1st place why are you even contemplating getting back together, that is just sick!

Answer 8

Most people would tell you to move on true .......very true but it ain't easy. You've got to stop seeing him rite now he'll hurt u again & even more ........... walk away. Deal with the pain in your own way, cry .......... do whatever, allow yourself to grieve. Find other new things to keep your mind on............ I looked for a new job and house when that happened to me. Take it one step at a time from there ........... I mean where he/men are concerned.

Answer 9

What's done is done and leave it at that. Do you really want to go back into a relationship were your trust had been shattered? Once a cheat always a cheat.

Answer 10

if he's your ex of 4 yrs, why would you want to get back with him. he cheated on you and i can tell you from experience, once a cheater, always a cheater. forget him and find someone else.

Answer 11

Just remember... (and I'm sorry if this seems cruel)...

It sounds like he's already let you go.

Control, however is an illusion.

Be gentile with yourself... but look for your parts (yes, sorry, your parts) in what happen. Nobody strays if they are happy, and everyone is happy if they their needs are being met.