Single mom here with a child. Have an opportunity to re-locate out of state because of a good paying job and more benefits. Ex-husband and I get along very well and together we have a seven year old daughter. They absolutely adore one another and have a very special and unique "father and daughter" relationship. I made it "very" clear in the divorce that I would put absolutely no restrictions on her what-so-ever when it came to her father. It wasn't fair to punish her for our failures and mistakes.
Unfortunately, we live in a very rural area and there aren't a lot of jobs to be had here. It just seems like we are always struggling to make ends meet.
My daughter really "deserves" her father in her life and because of that ....is the reason this has been so difficult.
2006-08-07 23:45:38 · 11 answers · asked by xxx 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
He is an "excellent" father to her.
2006-08-07 23:48:22 · update #1
It sounds like you have an excellent relationship with the father (at least in regard to your daughter). Approach him explain the situation, I'm sure your intent for the new job is to improve your daughter's living standard. You both seem to love her and both want the best for her and I'm certain you can reach an agreement that has your daughter's best interests at heart.
I read some of the other answers they seem to miss one important point, the importance of a father in the development a girl's development.
2006-08-07 23:56:54 · answer #1 · answered by guyd_15 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I think you already know the answer to this. Do what is right for you and her. You cant ruin your lifes opportunities because your ex has a great relationship with your daughter. This is a time where you can move forward, don't let anything hold you back. If your husband has a fantastic relationship with your daughter he will find a way to see her regularly. There is always a way. You will be kicking yourself in the guts if you don't do this for yourself, and for your daughter. Trust me, she will understand eventually.
2006-08-08 06:56:39 · answer #2 · answered by Chris 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The three of you need to talk about it... I know it seems odd a family meeting with the ex but if you lay it out you may find that your ex and your daughter will be OK. Their relationship will not go away by geography... you will need to work out a heavy visitation plan and she is old enough for dad to be a pin pale if you decided that moving is best, if you have something close by that can meet your needs.. even if it isn't as good as the offer you got, you may want to consider taking that for your daughter's sake...
2006-08-08 07:08:25 · answer #3 · answered by Star 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have an idea but I'm not sure how you'll take it. How about you let her live with her dad for the time being until you're absolutely certain that this job is going to work out for you? This way, you're covered both ways.
One, she gets to spend time with her father, and you get to see if this is what you want for the both of you. Jobs are tough enough to find nowadays, and if this doesn't work out for you, she doesn't have to go through moving back and forth from city to city.
Bounce this idea off your ex-husband and see what he says. I'll bet you get a "yes".
I hope this helps you.
2006-08-08 06:59:43 · answer #4 · answered by Michael_D_Miller 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only thing wrong with a new job is that it may not last. With all the downsizing going on, you might be out of a job quickly , then you would have to start looking a for a new job all over again.It is a big risk, especially in your case.
2006-08-08 06:52:38 · answer #5 · answered by WC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say go for it...... there are holidays she can see him and all summer and maybe if there is a long weekend you can send her to her dads. Perhaps when she gets a little older she can make the decision where she wants to be. It will be hard at first but there is email, instant messenging (I talk to my mom more on IM then I do in person, and she lives 50 feet away!)
Good luck and any decission you make will have its pros and cons.
2006-08-08 07:09:04 · answer #6 · answered by JOEYSMOM2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sigh you are in a bad place right now ,, and good for you and him being so good to yourself about her ,,Have you asked him how he feels about whats going on with you ? He might have some suggestions about custody ,,,maybe something can be arranged for them to still have contact daily ,, the computer with a web cam is one way ,, its really hard to make decisions concerning our kids but we have to do whats best for them ,, and if one has to suffer a little more they all so have to think that its the quality of life just as much as quantity ,, You have the responsibility of her welfare even if he dose pay you child support and that includes all aspects of her life ,, its not fair that it comes down to money but it dose most times and we have to provide the best possible life we can for our kids ,, Her age is a factor in all this its going to be hard on her but if she is assured every step of the way with your decisions , she will feel apart of it all and know that your doing what you can to provide her with life's everyday things and that daddy loves her just as much as you do ,,Good luck Hun you have a hard road ahead of you but you seem to have a handle on things ,,
2006-08-08 07:01:03 · answer #7 · answered by Linda 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ultimately what is best for your daughter is that you can support her. I say move. Travel is not nearly as difficult as it once was and there's the phone and internet, even old fashioned letters, to make sure they still say in touch regularly.
2006-08-08 06:53:37 · answer #8 · answered by Kanga_tush2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
listen millicent,from your question i feel there is still a string attached in between you.why dont u 2 make up?loving your child is if a two way proposition(u said ur ex man too loves her) make it up...al the best
2006-08-08 06:59:01 · answer #9 · answered by lim x 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take the job
2006-08-08 06:57:43 · answer #10 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋