I met a perfect girl that caters to my every need, she is no 'head spin' everything is simple, she is down to earth, beautiful, speaks many languages, is intelligent, doesn't desire material things, is a great cook, gives great massages and is very in touch with nature ... And she told me that she is in love with me and is mine forever.. I am a bit spooked, but she really is a great girl and I can't hurt her. I am not sure if I am in love. We spent 23 hr 30 mins a day together for one week and I find I am very comfortable around her, but sometimes I don't desire her and I look at other women with desire....
Is it because 'the chase' is over? Have I had too many sexual partners and I will never fall in love? Is she too intense for me? Should I try it out for longer? Should I let her go and not break her heart, or is it too late?
2006-08-07 23:13:59 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Wow. Well, that's already pretty impressive as it stands. If you walk away from that, you'd better have a pretty good reason, because you're not likely to find too many more like that.
I'd worry a little bit that she might be a bit too compliant; if it were me, I'd expect her to show backbone, and stand up for her interests a bit more, independent of mine; but that's a minor concern.
In terms of being concerned about being 'in love'--if you're speaking of infatuation, that tends to be a short-term hormone-driven phenomenon, and not something you'd want to count on longer term. Compatability, and an ability to communicate open and honestly counts for *far* more than a sense of being 'in love'. Don't sweat the romantic love part; if she's someone you could imagnie spending most of your life with, don't hesitate.
And don't worry too much about looking at other people with desire--that happens to everyone. I think it's a bit of leftover biological drive to optimize genetic distributions. The big trick is to not let it get you into too much trouble. The occasional fantasy is perfectly healthy, and helps keep relationships interesting. If she's as intelligent as you say, you'll find that you can talk to her about these feelings and fantasies, and she'll feel more comfortable knowing you trust her enough to talk to her about them, and less worried that you might be going to break her heart.
Trust her judgement; she thinks you're a good choice. If you like her, and are comfortable with her now, there's a really good chance that you'll be off to a good start, and the more you learn about each other, the more you'll come to love each other over time.
There's thousands of people out there who would kill for what you have. If you pass it up, in spite of her good judgement, you'd better have a very good reason for doing so, because she'll want to know why her judgement of you was wrong.
Ultimately, it's up to you. But I know what my decision would be, were I in your same position. ^_^;
2006-08-07 23:25:10 · answer #1 · answered by mpetach 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not take a little break from spending so much time together and see how much you miss her? I'm not saying break up, just not 23.5 hours a day. Too much of a good thing can feel like a bad thing. Desire really is normal and it's only a problem if you never desire your partner, or if you act on the desire you have for others. Take a breather and listen to your heart. It will tell you what to do.
2006-08-07 23:24:53 · answer #2 · answered by Kanga_tush2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you feel that way then she is not the perfect girl. What is a perfect girl? It should be someone you are comfortable with, someone who makes you laugh, someone you can talk to to about anything. Personally I want a smart man, a man of many languages, one who has read books and been to places or at least wants to go places. She is in touch with her feelings but are you in touch with yours?
If you had any sense you would think of the future and not today. What will the head spin girls look like in the future? What do they have to offer? They may look good but are they good in bed and how long will that last? The "cute" ones are known to marry and then control husband with sex...by not giving them any. Do her a favor, find someone else. Sounds to me as if she is getting the raw end of this deal.
2006-08-07 23:24:49 · answer #3 · answered by bobbalou27 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i think you should stop and take a real good look at this situation...and either break up with your girlfriend or take a break from the relationship so you can see where you really want to be...you don't want to lead on your current girlfriend if you are really in love with your ex...just make sure you are very sure about what you are doing and don't even try talking to your ex until you have broken things off with your current girlfriend, it is only fair to her that way you don't end up cheating on her...and maybe just take some time to be alone and see what is really right for you...
2016-03-27 03:26:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even if you get that "in love" feeling, scientific studies have asserted that it fades within about a year anyways. After that, the relationship will fail if that "in love" feeling isn't replaced by something stronger and more mature. If you want to be single again in a year after you hook up with somebody, then go ahead and chase that "in love" feeling. If you want to eventually have a satisfying, long-term relationship, then what you have with her sounds like a great start.
2006-08-07 23:26:37 · answer #5 · answered by Muralasa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds to me like you have found everything that you desire in a woman and now you are to scared to make a commitment to her as it is you who is afraid of getting their heart broken.if you feel everything you say you do for this girl then why would you want to walk away from her.try looking deep inside of yourself and ask yourself do you deserve such happiness and does she deserve to have her heart broken because of all your insecurities.If you follow your heart and not your head or any other body part you may find that the answer is right there in front of you and has been all the time.
2006-08-07 23:21:52 · answer #6 · answered by flying_eagle_72 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well make sure if you want her, if you're ready and if you really need her. it doesn't mean that just because she's nice and she's in love with you, and a perfect one that she's for you. you might be hurting her in the end if you make her believe that you're int the samething too. and it doesnt mean that you're desire for other women is love, it maybe lust.lol. here's a hint dude if you're attracted to her and doesnt get pissed off when your with her maybe you are not just aware your falling for her. i think ms perfect deserves the best so if you think you must have her. go get her. listen to the soft whispers in your heart.
2006-08-07 23:27:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a dream come true, but it does get better. Your perfect mate would give you the desire to not look at other women, unless you are a perv
2006-08-07 23:19:25 · answer #8 · answered by captcruzer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be with her so long you feel comfortable, let the first blow pass away. She too'll make up her mind for better, and you too 'll see things in a broader perspective.
Looking at other girls is quite natural, so long your own girl dosn't bother.
2006-08-07 23:20:40 · answer #9 · answered by sameer s 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your looking at other girls it's because it's human nature to look at the things that God put on this earth and find the opposite sex attractive it's when you act on it that maKES IT WRONG. i THINK YOU SHOULD GIVE THIS GIRL A CHANCE TO MAKE YOU HAPPY AND SO WHAT IF YOU LOOK JUST DON'T TOUCH.
2006-08-07 23:21:34 · answer #10 · answered by flutterby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋