pub customer: "i like the stuffed lion above the door."
landlord: "that lion killed my wife."
pub customer: "gosh! were you on safari?"
landlord: "no, here. it fell on her head."
2006-08-07 21:52:51 · 13 answers · asked by Kelly 5 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
IRISH PROSTITUTE .
An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years. Upon her return, her
father cussed her.
Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye not write to us, not even a
line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old mum
thru?
The girl, crying, replied, "Sniff, sniff....dad....I became a prostitute....
"Ye what!!? Out of here, ye shameless harlot!
Sinner! You're a disgrace to this family."
"OK, dad-- as ye wish. I just came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat,
title deed to a ten bedroom mansion plus a savings certificate for $5
million.
For me little brother, this gold Rolex and for ye daddy, the sparkling new
Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside plus a membership
to the country club....(takes a breath)....and an invitation for ye all to
spend New Years Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera, and...."
Now what was it ye said ye had become?" says dad.
Girl, crying again, "Sniff, sniff....a prostitute dad! Sniff, sniff.
"Oh! Be Jesus! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a
Protestant. Come here and give yer old man a hug!"
.
2006-08-07 22:01:51 · answer #1 · answered by lz_baxter 2 · 6⤊ 0⤋
A guy had his wife as his lawyer...
He was in jail and he kept asking for his lawyer.
The policemen said his wife and lawyer was dead.
After a few repetitions of this act the policemen asked:
How many times do I have to tell you that your lawyer is dead?!?!
He answered:
Lots because I looooooooooove to hear it...
This one is far better
2006-08-08 06:22:12 · answer #2 · answered by space 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the bartender is Frank from everybody loves raymond his next response probably would have been "Yeah, I like it too". LOL
2006-08-08 04:59:28 · answer #3 · answered by kman252 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm!
2006-08-08 05:41:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, a very funny joke told be a very lovely lady
2006-08-08 07:29:17 · answer #5 · answered by markhatter 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol..yeah..my aunty died with music on the brain...a piano fell on her head...
2006-08-08 17:36:34 · answer #6 · answered by Featherman 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lool! if u made that up then u are soo fuunnnnneeeeeeeeyyy
2006-08-08 08:43:34 · answer #7 · answered by 100% me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
loool
2006-08-08 05:02:01 · answer #8 · answered by a_phantoms_rose 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hahahah
2006-08-08 04:56:59 · answer #9 · answered by LiTlE mIsSy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ha haha
2006-08-08 04:57:32 · answer #10 · answered by muffin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋