should i forgive my mom?

Question

I'm 16 and i can't remember a time my Mom has been there for me sure she Argues with me and tells me to do stuff for her but when i have a problem she ignores me and gets on the computer for 6 hours or until i go to sleep so she doesn't have to deal with me. She had depression. should i forgive her for not being there for me? how do i do that?

Answer 1

i know how you feel hun, my mom is bi polar which means you never know how she is gonna react sometime i compliment her and she takes it the wrong way and thinks im insulting her, she spends all day before and after work before and after sleeping on the computer, cause she beleives thats where her real friends are, your at a very important age where you need a womans guidance to help and support you but try to keep the pressure off your mom, it will help in the end cause she might feel a void, and maybe buy your mom a greeting card that says something special in it, sometimes cards do say it better than we do, make her feel important, you will eventually reap your reward even though you may cry yourself to sleep sometimes cause you miss your mom, but forgiveness has nothing to do with it, its not her fault and its not yours either sometimes these things just happen, it may happen to you someday she'll get help when the time is right and when it will be the most effective, just try to be as helpful as you can without overdoing it and it will work out in the end,,, always does in the meantime maybe talk to another relative your grandma, your aunt, i relied on my aunt for everything girl-life related, pick someone you can trust and all will be fine!

Answer 2

Wow you and I really have alot in common, i have delt with the same things I am 18 now but from the time I was 14 clear up untill now my mom has been the same way. We would get into an argument and she would get on the internet for hours and i would go in my room crying and listening to eminem and staind wishing i would die. i love my mom but i will never forget the ways she treated me when i was young, it is hard to forgive when these things still happen all the time. you should e-mail me some time and we can talk more about it, where its not so open to the public my email is [e-mail] or message me on yahoo--robin_angel2004

Answer 3

yes forgive her.. Think about what bottled up anger will do to you. Forgiveness can be as much about your physical well being as it is about your relationship with her... and consider the family you may have some day all that energy you could put into caring about your self and your babies and growing a happy relationship with them burned on anger toward your mom

you may not have control of her choice to be distant from you but don't let stop you from having your own happy family ... forgiving her is choice that you make out of love with your heart and you may need to bo this more than once

Answer 4

Being 16 and trying to grow up sucks. I am going to tell you that you have several difficult years ahead of you, and furthermore your mother is dealing with her own demons.
I would reccomend confiding in a trusted adult, aunt, counselor, favorite teacher or see if you can find a local support group for poeple dealing with depression.
Yes, forgive your mother. One day she will be well again but for now try to be supportive.
Best of luck to you.

Answer 5

if she has depression, that is the only reason you need, she doesn't want to deal with anything that will trigger her emotionally, why don't you have a talk with her about that, and then focus on your problems later... I know that is hard to do when your a teenager,been there done that, but she is your mother and she needs you just as much as you need her, build a friendship, not just a parenthood and in the long run both of your lives will get better

Answer 6

my mom hav alot of problems too no one can communicate wif her she got no frds at all, shes about 50 sth n im only 14 she hav heart disease, she has a poor hearin, she cant tell the difference between the voices made by realife n tv, she dosent understand movies n she dosent care a **** about my feelings n thoughts i find the best way being wif her is to talk less, never talk about serious stuff n no matter wht say sorry so arguments wont happen

Answer 7

I am sorry your mom is not there for you. She is probably doing the best that she knows how. Depression makes it very hard to deal with anyone but yourself--it makes you selfish. Reach out to your mom and tell her you love her and really need her, maybe that will wake her up. The best of luck to you.

Answer 8

you can't actually forgive an offense if it still hurts. some kind of support group might help you to deal with the pain your mother is causing you. and a group can help you find ways to deal with what's going on at home. try this place:
http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/

http://www.adultchildren.org/

or ask folks to recommend some teen support groups.

Answer 9

Yes. Depression affects people's emotions.. Your mother might actually be ignoring you because that's what her disease causes her. Try to be sympathetic to her. Lower Social Functioning as well as Inability to perform activities of daily living are common with depressed people. Try to consult her psychiatrist/psychologist of ways on how to manage her symptoms and what you can do to help her.

Answer 10

your mom is human, I'm sorry to say. and some humans are better mothers than others. yours probably has no clue what to do or how to help you, so she hides. talk to your counselor at school or another trusted adult. you need adult interaction, and if your mom can't provide it for you, you'll have to look for it elsewhere.
and yes, you should forgive her. hate is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to get sick-- you're only hurting yourself.